I never have and wonder what you get out of it besides sex lol. Does it have a control thing involved?
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I never have and wonder what you get out of it besides sex lol. Does it have a control thing involved?
I don't,I need a long term relationship. Most of the time I've observed others do it, just for sex and self gratification. Other words no strings attached. The spare of the moment release, and move on. Control really has nothing to do with it less you're in to BDSM, and pain seeking thrills. Otherwise some people think someone is hot, and it's someone to conquer and win for the moment to get someone else jealous.
I would rather have a committed relationship too. I hate playing games and dating sexing around. I'd rather be loved and be in love. I don't think I could do a one night stand even now when single. Too many blocks/walls up too.
One night stands are usually random, and are intense mind blowing with passion. It seems the more mysterious the person is the hotter the attraction...oh the fireworks!
Personally creepy...
Alex I will go with "What is hot" for 500
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I have in the past but in a relationship now.
Not much to say about it really, nothing to it other than getting horny and ****ing. This topic used to get beaten to death here but I don't understand why. The truth is very, very simple. If you can't have sex without catching feelings, don't do ONS. If you can and you want to have sex without turning it into a relationship, why not?
I have before but I never made a habit out of it because its not really my thing. It had nothing to do with control either, it was because I wanted to and that was all I really wanted at that time.
I have before and it was never particularly good. Except for my hubby who started out as a one night stand (best sex ever) and we're still happy together over 20 years later.
^ That is actually seems like you were fated for each other.
No. Trust is a big thing for me in general. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a random stranger.
i have, not recently and it wasn't worth it because they the person tries to hit you up again and if you were drunk you realize what a huge error you made in judgment when sober, lmao. so i don't anymore.
In general, most people don't seek out one night stands. They happen though, but usually just from circumstance or disinterest after the original attraction.
I've had a few when I was much younger, and not because I was just looking for a good time. I had very low self-esteem and that was my way of connecting with people, of feeling wanted and needed. I was quite reckless and self-destructive. I'm just really thankful that I was smart enough in my late teens to bag it up and to be safe about it- a lot of people aren't.
For me, a one night stand wasn't ever about sexual gratification, so I can't really say that I believe that's true. I feel like maybe men and women are different on the subject, generally, not entirely. Some women definitely are just looking for a good time, but I feel like a lot of us (women) are looking for a way to feel special or to not feel so alone. I think men are on the same page, with most of them looking for sexual gratification, and then again, some are just lonely and looking for a way to connect with someone else and feel needed. I also think that this is the reason behind why a lot of people have one night stands after being in relationships- they're lonely, they miss the other person, etc.
It never felt so great in the morning. I think if you want to have a one night stand, you just better be sure you're doing it to get off and not to reach some deeper meaning. There's no deeper meaning involved and no other form of satisfaction- in my opinion :)
I don't know why I just can't DO IT not dating or in a relationship anymore and I don't think it is a bad thing if single and only having sex but I just can't go for it. I would probably get attached to whomever I did it with and no good can come from that should be no attachments only sex.
It's going to sound a little ****ed up, but there were times it granted me freedom in the way that I could be anything they wanted me to be.. That was only a portion of the time, though. Other times, it was just a means of passing the time. No control at all- just a period where time passed and I didn't need to be in control of my life. I could pleasure the men any way they desired but just letting go of control and being whatever they wanted- rough or gentle was never a matter. :S And by the end of it, it would be late afternoon or later at night, and I would not have to deal with the chunk of time it took to have sex. I was closer till it was time to go to sleep.
EDIT: But I'd rather have the relationship, though. Sooner or later, a few brief moments of being out of control tend to take over, making others think of you more as an object. :S
Do you think if someone was FWBs or ONS in late teens and early 20s and stopped then did relationships once they hit another of age mark do they reverse back or feel the need to reverse back to ONS and meaningless no attachment sex? Like they missed out, so trying to get back on it again while they are still young enough? I see friends and others do this wonder if it is an actual thing. I always thought you hit a certain age you want to settle down with one and start planning a life not go back to your old party days.
I honestly have no idea, but I imagine it could be a possibility. :S For me, though, now that I'm single, there are a few moments where I just think to myself I'd like to have some meaningless sex. But then there are others that I feel like I want a relationship-- and even others that I feel like I just want to focus on myself and my therapy and not do either (relationships or nsa sex). I guess it depends on the person, but for me, it's all really muddled.
I have in the past, when I lived in a big city. Gone to a club, met a hot guy, took him home. Not necessarily with the intention of it being a one nighter, but if you take a guy home on the first night, you have to keep in mind that's probably all it'll be. I'd had exceptions where the guy called me and we actually hung out a few times after, but not always, and that's okay. Now that I'm living back in my home town, it's a lot smaller than the city I was in previously, so I wouldn't do that (if I was single), because too many people talk and everyone knows everyone. I don't want to be portrayed a certain way, so I avoid actions that will portray me that way. I think as long as your being safe and not hurting anyone in the process, it's okay. If both parties are single and consenting and you use protection, then I don't see the harm.
Well, the best sex is when there's intense emotional depth and intimacy. When you both know each other in fine detail and it's hot no holds barred animalistic passion and knowing/doing everything each other wants and craves. Hard to get that going in a one night stand. It's usually just quick, passionate, fairly clumsy because you don't know one another physically, you get a nut and voila, it's over.
Nothing real great about that. Just a more physical interactive way of rubbing one out (for the girl and guy). Don't feel bad about not wanting or having one night stands. Your not missing a whole lot.
I had a one night stand in my early twenties after being platonically in love with a workmate for a couple of years and feeling heartbroken in the end because nothing ever happened. He was just having a fun single life and wanted no commitment at that time, and I must have given him the impression that I wanted one, so in spite the huge chemistry we had and me being so in love, he never wanted to simply have fun with me, I suppose.
The frustration, the disappointment and the sadness built up after a couple of years and I thought that having a one night stand would help me forget him and break the emotional connection I felt. So I met this good looking guy, agreeable personality, one night at a disco and I clearly expressed my intentions of sleeping with him. Despite this he treated me very nicely, kept telling me all night long that I was a good girl and wanted to date me. I never accepted to meet him again though and I wished for some time to never even see him anywhere again and this was a granted wish :-)
I didn't forget the guy I liked and wanted to be with though or felt better about the whole situation - I had to change jobs for that :-)
I had the opportunity last weekend and didn't, again. I think people will begin to assume I might be a lesbian with all the declining of men I am doing, so be it.
I have in the past but was single and bored and getting drunk with buddies and hitting up the clubs. I think it was a phase some of us went through.
I agree with the other poster saying, don't worry you aren't missing much if you don't do one night stands.
I have had in the past but it was bad experience, therefore I don't believe in it.
Bad experience why, jakebrown? because the girl or you got too attached or stalked?