Should I tell his girlfriend he wants to cheat with me?

Met a guy a few months back. He said him and his ex of a few years had recently broken up.

We texted for a while and he told me he really liked me, and not just for sex. He would text or call me every day. He'd ask about my family, my past, etc. Then, we had sex (too soon) and he went distant and lost contact.

Then, he gets in touch again 3 weeks later, but now he only wants to talk about one thing - sex! I feel like this is unfair, as he knows I actually like him.

Anyway, regardless of how bad he made me feel, I've just found out that he's back with his girlfriend (that's if they ever had actually broken up!). And he's still texting me, telling me he wants to meet up for 'that'. He has no idea I know about him and his girlfriend.

I really want to tell her, but I think it's for the wrong reasons. Even though I feel that she should know the kind of guy she's with, I think I mainly want to tell her to hurt him. I just think it's so unfair of him to treat people this was and get away with it!
This guy is so full of himself. He's really good looking, rich, intelligent, blah blah blah, and he seriously knows it. I just feel like he's gonna keep doing this to people and he should be stopped!
But... is it the right thing to do? Would it be better for her to know? And on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being bat s**t crazy, how far up the rank would I look? I'm not even fb friends with this girl and only found her through fb stalking. But I had suspicions that he was with her and he wasn't gonna tell me, so I looked for myself.
I don't know what to do!

Stop acting like little doormat ! Tell him to feck off !

You deserve a guy who would call you his GF not some other girl. You are someones first choice ! Not second.

Dont tell his GF but warn him if he mentions sex or anything like that you will tell his GF ! Cut all contacts cause you know nothing good can come out of it. Imagice how bad BF guy like that would be - cheating and apsolutly not worth any trust. Just the fact that he want to cheat - he deserves absolutly no symphaty. Cheaters burn in hell, who once cheat is cheater foreva !

Hugs* wish you lot of love in future hun.

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, definitely going to cut him out now that I know this. But I just feel like he'll think "oh well, her loss" (as he's that arrogant) and then just move on to the next and continue to act this way and get away with it! I'm 12 years younger than he is and his gf is the same age as me. I just think he preys on young women who are more likely to fall for his shit, and he doesn't care who he hurts. I really want him to learn a lesson, or even if he won't learn, just bring him down a bit!

Leave both those people alone.


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you are a f uck buddy to him, if he liked you he wouldn't have hooked back up witht eh ex he is playing you both. just delete his number and stop contacting him he probably has others in his rotation and won't bother you anymore if you show no interest. and no don't tell his gf anything she can find out same way you did.

No way!!! Don't say a word

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You are just gonns wind up hurting two people.

Just write on his FB wall "you better not have given me an STD you cheating pig-never contact me again" enough people will see it before he does

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Originally Posted by michelle23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Just write on his FB wall "you better not have given me an STD you cheating pig-never contact me again" enough people will see it before he does

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@Michelle Lol, thats funny!

Enough people will actually see it before he does, which is so true. But then, "Cheaters" always have a way of talking their way out and their partner would believe them. (He might even convince his GF enough to believe that it was Confused who was trying to flirt with him and he didn't give in...)

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Originally Posted by confused_ [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, definitely going to cut him out now that I know this. But I just feel like he'll think "oh well, her loss" (as he's that arrogant) and then just move on to the next and continue to act this way and get away with it! I'm 12 years younger than he is and his gf is the same age as me. I just think he preys on young women who are more likely to fall for his shit, and he doesn't care who he hurts. I really want him to learn a lesson, or even if he won't learn, just bring him down a bit!

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This is all sour grapes and ego speaking. You want him to suffer because YOU had sex with him before you even knew who he was or what kind of man he is. Next time, don't put yourself in the predicament that you'll end up with a man who is already with someone else by waiting long enough to know for sure he's single.

Read my signature, understand what it means and get on with your life without being vindictive and petty. If you must do something then wait until he contacts you again and tell him that you're going to tell his gf if he doesn't stop disrespecting her and other women in such a disgusting, vile manner. Then go no contact. She's responsible for ignoring his red flag behaviour, not you, luv so learn from this and move on from it.

Devastating her to punish him is just vindictive and cruel and will bring bad karma on you.

I think you should tell her. She has a right to know.

Don't expect that you'll be the hero and she will immediately dump him. Messengers get shot all the time.


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Thanks for the replies. I think it's true that she won't necessarily dump him, but at least she'll know what kind of guy he is, and it might make him think. And I don't know this girl, so I really don't care about what she thinks of me.
And yeah, I might have slept with him too soon... but that doesn't excuse his behaviour. Fact is, he told me he wanted more than sex from me - he didn't. He knows I like him more than just for that, and he comes back for sex whilst having a girlfriend. If nothing happens to change this, he'll carry on, he won't learn, she will have no idea about what he's doing unless he comes back with some STD (he wanted to sleep with me with no protection, I said no!). Although I don't know for sure, I don't think I'm the first one he's done this with. His behaviour hurts others, but has brought him nothing but pleasure, and so he has no reason to stop. I just think he needs some comeuppance.

Snipped the rhetoric: Because you will learn one way or the other you are responsible for yourself and "warning" her will do NOTHING to change him or give him "comeuppance" There is always other naïve and vulnerable women that won't wait to see if he's good or even single. (sadly). Players have options that he can withdraw from when needed. It will be her that is hurt, not him if she even believes you.

By the way, if you do tell her let us know how she responds to you. Should be interesting.

I do see what you mean, and I do agree, except that I do think it would give him comeuppance. They've been together for years and I do think he loves her, but right now he's having it all and hurting others in the process, and that's just not fair.

While the girlfriend may choose to ignore her and just consider her a crazy b*tch, at least she will have done the right thing by telling her. After that she should walk away and never contact any of them again.

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Originally Posted by searock [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think you should tell her. She has a right to know.

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Originally Posted by searock [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

While the girlfriend may choose to ignore her and just consider her a crazy b*tch, at least she will have done the right thing by telling her. After that she should walk away and never contact any of them again.

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You are so young.

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Originally Posted by KingZ [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You are so young.

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Care to elaborate, KingZ? :)

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Originally Posted by confused_ [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Care to elaborate, KingZ? :)

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I don't need to. Go ahead and try it.

If it improves your life in any way, or the girl believes you, or the guy doesn't go ape-shit on you after he finds out you told her, or ANY of you find yourselves better off in ANY way after this happens, I'll happily retract my statement and admit searock was right.

(searock is only ever right when she's defending or agreeing with me, so I already know how this is going to turn out.)

Lol... well I don't think she should do it to necessarily improve the situation in any way, she should do it because it is the right thing to do IMO (so in a way it would improve her own situation in that she will feel good about herself for having done the right thing). I know that if I were the girlfriend, I would want to know (or at least to have someone water the seed of doubt already planted in me - chances are that she already suspects there's something not quite right about him).

See, she simply doesn't have the life/relationship experience to make the correct call here.

"It's the right thing to do."

rofl. amateur.

Best thing that can happen after she lets out the truth - she becomes best friends with his girlfriend, guys admits he was wrong and apologises to both girls and live happy ever after with his GF and never cheats again.

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Originally Posted by pcmaster [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Stop acting like little doormat ! Tell him to feck off !

You deserve a guy who would call you his GF not some other girl. You are someones first choice ! Not second.

Dont tell his GF but warn him if he mentions sex or anything like that you will tell his GF ! Cut all contacts cause you know nothing good can come out of it. Imagice how bad BF guy like that would be - cheating and apsolutly not worth any trust. Just the fact that he want to cheat - he deserves absolutly no symphaty. Cheaters burn in hell, who once cheat is cheater foreva !

Hugs* wish you lot of love in future hun.

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I agree with you!!!! There is no need to tell the girlfriend. This is not your battle to fight to tell the girlfriend as she will most likely only resent you anyway especially since you've been involved romantically with him...she'll question your M.O. Cut your losses with this awful guy and just be happy because you do deserve to be happy!!! God bless ya luv!

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Originally Posted by confused_ [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If nothing happens to change this, he'll carry on, he won't learn, she will have no idea about what he's doing unless he comes back with some STD (he wanted to sleep with me with no protection, I said no!). Although I don't know for sure, I don't think I'm the first one he's done this with.

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Its possible he do sleep with other girls without protection. Although, letting his girlfriend know probably wouldn't make any difference ( She still going to keep him any way and think you are the one who got issue ). But you should have done your part if she did get to know and probably also save her from any future STD's.

Telling the gf won't change the guy. Its best if you have sex with him and don't complicate things any further. If anything, making him fall in love with you and then telling his gf and dumping him, is the best revenge.

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Originally Posted by bekho [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Telling the gf won't change the guy. Its best if you have sex with him and don't complicate things any further. If anything, making him fall in love with you and then telling his gf and dumping him, is the best revenge.

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So you mean telling her now wouldn't do any good, but telling her later would? ... Thing is though, if I slept with him again, I'd be the one with one with the feelings for him, I don't think it would make him like me anymore, and I definitely don't think I could 'make him fall in love with me'. I think he loves her and he just wants to use me for sex, and it's not happening!

What is sex without love?

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Sport.

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Originally Posted by bekho [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Telling the gf won't change the guy. Its best if you have sex with him and don't complicate things any further. If anything, making him fall in love with you and then telling his gf and dumping him, is the best revenge.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

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Worst advice I've read on this forum since 2014 began. Good thing you're smart enough to realize that, OP.

It was a joke. :)

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Whoops. Sorry, it didn't translate well in the written form. It was quite funny though not in a haha sort of way. More in a "WTF that's whack" kinda thang.

you are a spam.

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Originally Posted by confused_ [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I do see what you mean, and I do agree, except that I do think it would give him comeuppance. They've been together for years and I do think he loves her, but right now he's having it all and hurting others in the process, and that's just not fair.

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Your sour grapes are showing again, OP.

What's really sad and selfish of YOU (never mind him, we all know what he is) is that you are doing this in some misguided attempt to hurt him when in reality, you won't hurt him at all. Nor will it make you feel vindicated.

You'll do what you will (which is mostly always the case) but whatever you do, don't lose sight of the lesson this was meant to teach you.

I'm just throwing out there that if I was his partner, I'd undoubtedly shoot the messenger.

Ok, I know what you're saying, really I do. Buuut...

So what if I want to hurt him? Of course I do! ... It's not like I want to hurt him by hurting her as I know hurting her would hurt him (if that made sense? :P ) I think that her knowing would also benefit her in the long run. And it would also hurt him. Also, I don't care if she 'shoots the messenger'. I don't know this woman and really don't care about what she thinks about me. Of course I want him to get what he deserves, anybody would. That's why people talk about karma. But to me, 'karma' isn't going to magically hit him on its own. If he gets caught behaving badly (with help from me) and loses everything (her and me), then that's karma right there.

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Originally Posted by confused_ [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Ok, I know what you're saying, really I do. Buuut...

So what if I want to hurt him? Of course I do! ... It's not like I want to hurt him by hurting her as I know hurting her would hurt him (if that made sense? :P ) I think that her knowing would also benefit her in the long run. And it would also hurt him. Also, I don't care if she 'shoots the messenger'. I don't know this woman and really don't care about what she thinks about me. Of course I want him to get what he deserves, anybody would. That's why people talk about karma. But to me, 'karma' isn't going to magically hit him on its own. If he gets caught behaving badly (with help from me) and loses everything (her and me), then that's karma right there.

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Well, this just proves that: For you, this is about selfishness and revenge. It's not about doing the right thing at all.

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I really want to tell her, but I think it's for the wrong reasons.

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Speaking about Karma. (since you appear to believe in such a thing) As I said earlier, telling her just to reap revenge on him will result in bad Karma for you. Your intent is what would determines what comes back to you. Do you seriously think your intent is pure? Its not, so neither will your karma be.
(its not like you have the opinion that "she deserves to know, nor is it like you're trying to protect her from him otherwise known as good intentions)

Next time, before you have sex with someone make sure they're not already paired up with someone else and you'd not have to worry about your karma or his. You are sitting at the banquet of the consequences of your actions and you want to punish him for what you did.

Just do what you're going to do and so be it.

No, I'm saying I don't believe in karma. I'm saying that nothing would happen on its own, and that when people say 'she will find out on her own sooner or later' or 'he will get what he deserves eventually' , it's a load of sh*t. In order for something to happen, I need to make it happen. I already know that I'm not doing it for the right reasons, I said that in my first post. But I still think that she would be better knowing now. Like I said earlier, he wanted to sleep with me without protection, what if he does that with someone who has an STD.
And I was right in thinking that he had no girlfriend. Everything he did told me he was single. I think they had actually broken up but are not back together. Look, I've always said that if you sleep with someone you've just met, you can't blame them for not wanting more after the sex, because for all they knew, you only wanted sex too. I still think this. But this case is different. This was a guy I met and didn't have sex right away. A guy who explicitly told me he wanted more than sex. A guy who lied. And he put a lot of effort into this lie, being in touch all day every day, asking about my family etc, telling me about the things he wanted us to do together. I really don't think that it would have made a difference if I would have waited. He would have carried on perusing this way me until we did what we did. And even if he did mean it then changed his mind, he's come back for sex at the same time as having a girlfriend! Hurting the girlfriend by cheating and hurting me, as he knows that I like him and remembers how he used to treat me.
I already know that if you want to make sure someone likes you, you should wait to have sex, I know this. It's what I've always done. On this occasions, it was a little quicker than usual, but I had my reasons. Obviously I'll be more cautious in future...

Like I said. Do what you're going to do and let us know how it goes and if you get any satisfaction out of it.

One other question though. Why'd you need the opinion of strangers before you did what you want to do?