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Hello there,
Quick question from a 15 year old. Is it considered rude or un-gentlemanly to ask a girl whether she has feelings for you?
Me and this girl have been good friends for a long time and although I'm fairly confident she likes me more than a friend I want to be sure before making a move - there is a risk she doesn't have feelings for me and I fear if I make a move and she doesn't have feelings for me it may risk our friendship.
Thanks :)
The best way to find out if a girl likes you is by pretending you're someone else.
Contact her via the Internet, claim you're some random guy, become friend with her, stick to your fake persona and then, when the timing is right, ask her if she has a boyfriend or is interested in someone.
And there you go, you've got your answer and haven't ruined your friendship.
Be careful tho, revealing your true identity or telling her what you've done later on would be a fatal mistake.
Thanks for the reply, and good plan. However are you saying asking her straight will ruin our friendship if she doesn't have feelings for me?
Yes it would, I've made this mistake countless times.Quote:
Originally Posted by InMyOwnWorld [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
The Internet method is the best one however, be prepared, you may not like what you're about to hear.
She could always reply "Oh i really like this *random popular guy*, he's pretty hot." and unintentionally destroy you emotionally.
Lastly, your fake persona should have a different writing style than your own.
If you don't act like a retard, you're never gonna get caught.
Trust me, I've been doing this stuff for the last 11 years to figure out all kinds of info on people.
Ya but what if she figured out this sham was put on by you....she wouldn't like it, and look at you as a flippin insecure tool.
Man up and ask her out to the movies or something....tell her you would like her to be your GF. Girls like a confident guy, not some sneaky weinie
Don't listen to her, she's gonna ruin your friendship for good.Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
She's never gonna figure out who you are if you act like an intelligent person.
Keep track of all your lies,
don't tell her to add an "online friend" of yours,
make sure your persona lives as far away as possible,
never mention your real name at any given moment,
don't talk about your real personality,
use a different writing style than your own and don't keep this up longer than it has to.
Also, if she says she likes the real you, don't ask her out on a date the next day, you should wait at least a week.
Thats just a normal question.
Ok, conflicting advice... The only issue with RainbowJohns plan is that I know that she doesn't give ANYTHING away over the internet. She's always talking about random annoying guys on twitter and facebook asking her about stuff, she says she never talks to them :/
why you afraid of ? denial and rejection ?
ask her with love and care.
If you start a relationship with lies you'll lose their trust, their respect and possibly the relationship when the truth comes out.
Denial and rejection wouldn't be a problem - if the girl involved and myself had not been good (and I mean good) friends for the past four years, see, I don't want to ruin our friendship :/
Ya because she knows it's mostly bull shit, and she knows people can be deceiving, that's why you shouldn't pull stupid shit like that on people.....it's douchey.Quote:
Originally Posted by InMyOwnWorld [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
- - - Updated - - -
What is more important to you? friendship? or a relationship? have to risk change to get change. If she is a good friend she wouldn't let something like your feelings get in the way of continuing your friendship. If she pushes away, the friendship had no value in the first place, she was just using you for her emotional tampon.Quote:
Originally Posted by InMyOwnWorld [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
- - - Updated - - -
If you are that much of a coward, have one of her friends find out for you.
You and she are not "friends". Friendship means no romantic feelings.. you should ask her out and if she says no, cut off the "friendship" you are only hurting yourself by keeping her in your life
And dont go along with any sneaky plans to trick her or manipulate her. Thats immature, cruel and cowardly
If you even contemplated using that "plan" of rainbowjohn's then it's no wonder you're only her friend. If you like her then ask her out. If she doesn't want to go out with you then you should stop being her friend anyway because all she'll do is hold you back from finding a girl that DOES want to be your girlfriend romantically.Quote:
Originally Posted by InMyOwnWorld [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Stop being girls friends. Have them in your life romantically is all. Hanging with them and being their buddy mostly ends up in the predicament you now find yourself in.
Being buddies with a girl is a cowards way of trying to get a GF. Girls won't date cowards, that's why 99% get turned down. Girls are attracted to a guy with confidence or at least has some balls to ask her out. Your odds of getting a GF increase.... 50% more likely they will say yes.
Thanks for the advice, you have cleared a few things up for me :) When you've never had a girlfriend before it can be slightly daunting knowing whats right, but thats life! Toodleoo!
So what happened? She say yes?
Bingo - game-playing sucks.Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
It's not rude or ungentlemanly to directly ask her; it's mature to seek open communication.
You won't chase her away if you ask about HER feelings without expressing your own (if you have them), and who knows? You just might win.