i'm scared to ask my parents to take me to the doctor?

Hi. I am a 21 year old female, and I have to go to a doctor. On March 30th, I went to the Emergency room at the hospital because I was having lower abdominal cramping that was really bad, like if I got up to walk I would limp. Anyways, the doctors found nothing wrong with me and sent me home. I was relieved, but I was still in pain.

The reason why I am scared to ask my parents was because when I asked my mom to take me to the doctor, she got mad at me. She told me to lay down and relax. That didn't work. I finally asked her to take me to the emergency room but she yelled at me. Eventually she caved in and yelled at me the whole time in the car screaming at me "your not having a miscarriage are you?" and when we got to the emergency room, she yelled at me to get out of the car and threw the insurance card at me. Yes, I did have sex March 10th but I keep getting negative pregnancy tests and I did get a period in March from 3/22-3/27 but now I skipped my April period. What I am experiencing isn't due to pregnancy or PMS, I believe.

My dad would gladly take me but I don't want to waste money again for me being "fine". You see, my dad came to the emergency room when he found out I was in the hospital. I was upset when i found out we had to pay $60 for "emergency room" fees. I don't want to ask my mom because I know she will yell at me again. Even though my mom didn't want to stay with me, she actually came 5 hours later to check up on me. I made an appointment for myself to go to a Planned Parenthood for tomorrow to find out what is wrong because I am petrified. I hate going to a doctor behind my parents back but maybe they can help me and they are confidential. My dad keeps telling me he would take me to the doctor, but I haven't mentioned any pain and keep faking I am fine. I don't feel like myself and I am scared to tell my mom, my dad not so much but more my mom. Everything hurts especially my lower abdomen. I know I could go myself but the thing is, I don't have my own insurance, I don't drive and if I get a bill in the mail for medicine and doctor fees, my parents will ask what happened. I still live under their roof. I know going to Planned Parenthood is going behind my parents back but they accept all cash, will not send mail to the house, and will only call my cell phone number. I feel safe with that. what should I do?

Hopefully some members who know how the medical system works in the USA will advise you on this. It is important to be able to speak with you parents and have all the check ups you need if you're still in pain.

I think it's very sad the economical pressure families in the US suffer for getting a decent medical treatment. In Spain you could either ask for an appointment with your doctor who would then ask for the necessary tests to be done or you'd be seen through Emergency and have your tests done in a few hours. You wouldn't have to pay for any of the medical interventions or tests, maybe only for some of the medicine that you should buy and even for those you'd only have to pay a percentage and not the whole price. All this is covered by paying a small monthly fee from every citizen's salary.

Are you sure the pain is not due to PMS? If you feel that there is something wrong, make an appointment with your medical doctor. Don't go to the ER. It cost more money to be seen in the ER rather than going to your private doctor. And have your father go with you. I don't understand why your mother gets so upset to take you to the ER if you are in pain. Better to be seen and get checked to rule out any possibility of a medical condition.

Maybe you have a tubal pregnancy which can be fatal, and can be missed by an ER doctor. You are 21 years old, you are an adult, you are responsible for yourself. Your parents have no right to question you about anything, even if you live under their roof, you are your own person. They need to stop treating you like a child, so go ahead and go to the clinic. You should be on birth control and have an annual pap test anyways.

Time to grow up little girl. At 21 you're considered to be an adult. Try acting like one.

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Originally Posted by Boisdevie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Time to grow up little girl. At 21 you're considered to be an adult. Try acting like one.

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She maybe 21 but if she's a student without a job, she's still covered under her parents insurance therefore, she still needs her parents whenever she has to go to the hospital. That's how it works here in the US.

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Originally Posted by chinagirl [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She maybe 21 but if she's a student without a job, she's still covered under her parents insurance therefore, she still needs her parents whenever she has to go to the hospital. That's how it works here in the US.

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that's really sucky

That's the Obama care in the US.

Your mom is ridiculous.

I live in Florida and North Carolina, that's mostly where I be now due to school, family etc and I frequent both places and I have family up North. I have always known public health to be free or you pay based off of your income. Birth control is free with public health. Do you have a public health for women in your area? I'm sure you do. Find out where. Every state has it. You can get your annuals and everything else and you won't need to use your parents and its confidential. I go to a private doctor and I been going to that office since I was sixteen but if I had no insurance or any options, i'd do what I have to do. Where im from, I don't understand nor do I have sympathy for chics who get knocked up unexpectedly. There's no reason. I be seeing guys come out of that office too, I guess to get rid of stuff lmao. Don't let public health scare you. They're professional and do prenatal care and all. I know chics that go there and they are always taken care of just like a regular obgyn cause they are real doctors and gynos.

You need to start getting annuals and birth control like Smackie advised. Planned parenthood. Public health, there are options. You're too old to be going thru this whenever you need to go to a doctor and at this age, you may have changes and its no ones business.

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Originally Posted by chinagirl [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

That's the Obama care in the US.

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Don't blame him... the health care system was crap there long before he tried to fix it to be better for everyone. :)

Adding: What is your situation, Op. Are you a student without a job?

yeah 21 is pretty much an adult

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Originally Posted by chinagirl [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She maybe 21 but if she's a student without a job, she's still covered under her parents insurance therefore, she still needs her parents whenever she has to go to the hospital. That's how it works here in the US.

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That can't be right. What if she is going to a uni in another state, and needs medical care. As long as she has the policy number and ID, I can't see why it wouldn't work. I can see if she was a minor, going to high school, living at home....that would make sense.

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Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Don't blame him... the health care system was crap there long before he tried to fix it to be better for everyone. :)

Adding: What is your situation, Op. Are you a student without a job?

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I'm NOT blaming Obama, I actually liked the idea of kids being covered until they are 26 if they remain unemployed. I also like that pre existing condition is now covered unlike before.

There are public health care that are free but not all public health here are created equal. Some are crappy and treat the patients like garbage, but there are some that are very good with good physicians because they are affiliated with a teaching institution.

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Originally Posted by chinagirl [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She maybe 21 but if she's a student without a job, she's still covered under her parents insurance therefore, she still needs her parents whenever she has to go to the hospital. That's how it works here in the US.

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No it isn't. My daughter can do it alone, all she needs is her insurance card, regardless of where she is living, and regardless of how she gets to a hospital.

Original poster - it sounds like cramps. See your primary care doctor (NOT the ER).

My son is 20 and they ask me to sign the insurance form as the main insured. I don't know if it varies by state. Colleges also offer insurance to kids for minimal amount and that, they don't need the parents to sign the insurance form when seen in the clinic or hospital.

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Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

That can't be right. What if she is going to a uni in another state, and needs medical care. As long as she has the policy number and ID, I can't see why it wouldn't work. I can see if she was a minor, going to high school, living at home....that would make sense.

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I don't know Smackie... My son goes to college in my State and he can go alone to his pediatrician because they have my insurance file with them. But if he needs to be referred to a specialist, they make him sign a form and I also have to sign the same form being the main policy holder. We've never Been in a situation where he was out of state and got sick, so I really don't know how it works.

But like starnique had mentioned, if he went to a public hospital or clinic, he will pay a very small fee to be seen by MD and they keep everything confidential.

The op needs to google public health or obgyn care for women for her state. I don't know about a hospital but I was referring to her getting this set up so she can get annuals, birth control or if she is having any issues cause she's a young lady now and it can be confidential and her parents won't have anything to do with it.

Public health is ok here. Nothing is like a personal doctor but I do know that the public health for women offer everything just like a private gyno. My gyno don't see men but public health do but only if they got something, stuff like that. They will see them.

Its not ideal but then again, nothing dealing with public assistance is. That's why it should be a stepping stone until u get better but u got to do what u got to do.

Too bad some people make a life with it. It wasn't designed for that but that's a whole different story =)

at 21 if I was afraid to ask my parents to drive me to the hospital then I'd ask a friend to drive or I'd take a cab. If it was anything serious, then my parents would be called. I don't think they'd yell a me if I was seriously ill.

Op: Time to learn to be a tad more independent. Yes?

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Originally Posted by chinagirl [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

My son is 20 and they ask me to sign the insurance form as the main insured. I don't know if it varies by state. Colleges also offer insurance to kids for minimal amount and that, they don't need the parents to sign the insurance form when seen in the clinic or hospital.

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I don't know Smackie... My son goes to college in my State and he can go alone to his pediatrician because they have my insurance file with them. But if he needs to be referred to a specialist, they make him sign a form and I also have to sign the same form being the main policy holder. We've never Been in a situation where he was out of state and got sick, so I really don't know how it works.

But like starnique had mentioned, if he went to a public hospital or clinic, he will pay a very small fee to be seen by MD and they keep everything confidential.

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I don't know...My daughter signed all her own forms for a brain surgery because she is over 18.