It's my anniversary, and I'm angry

To make a short story long...

Wifey's dad was in the hospital for a knee surgery last week. The sister that lives there 'had' to drive the other sister that flew in to 'help' back to Dallas to get her flight home, BEFORE my F-I-L was discharged from the hospital... meaning that frail and small M-I-L was going to be stuck trying to take care of large F-I-L for the weekend by herself, including getting him up and around to do normal things like use the bathroom or get washed...

So wifey took off to go help. I was fine with that. In fact, I was kind of bummed that I couldn't get time off from work to go help too. I love my in-laws - I really do. They've embraced me (eventually) and taken me into their family. F-I-L makes a point of calling me 'son'. He's said that he wants to give me his bow-hunting materials, and teach me to fletch the arrows, like he did with his son (now dead)... give 'em to me, teach ME, and not his other three S-I-L's... ME. He sees the way I treat his daughter. My M-I-L has said that she sees that we're 'a lot like they are'... and they've been married for fifty years.

So... wifey went to go help... Other sister got back last night, F-I-L has been developing complications, and last night they went to the ER. ER said "not an allergic reaction, possibly a blood-clot" so they med-evac'd him to a bigger/better hospital in Ft. Smith. Wifey went along.

Why? Her sister was there to help.

Today's our anniversary, and my birthday... and wifey's 200 miles away, for no real reason. I want her home with me, I miss her, and it's our day... or it should be.

I get that this is childish and unreasonable... Really, I don't want any advice, just wanted a place to bitch about it where she wouldn't see it. I won't ever say it to her. But dammit, I'm alone on my birthday and our anniversary, and it grates on me.

Both sides seem to have a valid reasoning behind them. Sorry you're alone on your day. Happy Birthday, though!

Damn. That sucks bro.

Go out a get yourself a drink with your buddies tonight. I'd recommend scotch..it sounds like you could use some of that shit.

Happy bday.

Can't. Gotta work tonight.

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Originally Posted by nico88 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Go out a get yourself a drink with your buddies tonight. I'd recommend scotch..it sounds like you could use some of that shit.

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A scotch? It's 9 AM; HIA is already drunk.

I suppose the reason you're upset is just the expectation. There's nothing inherently special about birthdays or anniversaries, just that you were expecting something on this day and now you don't have it. Only thing to do is adjust your expectation, light a cigar, and cheer the fu​ck up.

Not drunk. Slightly tipsy. Got off work 2 1/2 hours ago, trying to get to sleep.

Birthdays not being special? I'll give you that. It's just the day I was whelped by the mother I've never loved and never loved me...

But my anniversary? **** no. I got it wrong three times before this... and now it's finally a special day. It's the day the love of my life wedded me. I hope that someday you experience that. Seriously.

You haven't been married that long then....after 24 years it doesn't really bother you that much lol.

Nope... not that long. But I've been in love with her for 23 years... and I think I've got 20 years or so left. Not enough time.

I told you I knew it was selfish. Can't help it.

Happy Birthday & Anniversary!

Sorry you are alone today, but maybe when your wife comes back, she will make it up to you.

Happy Anniversary and many happy returns, HIA. Don't be down, when she comes back you can celebrate then. Right now she's worried about her Dad and she wouldn't be much in the moment with you when her mind is on her Dad and his well being.

She's be making up for her absence once he's stable and she can give her full focus to you. ;)

It's sweet that you are so sappy over your anniversary, but really, she is where she needs to be. Blood clots can be very serious - I know this. My cousin died from one that traveled to her lungs. (Pulmonary embolism.)

You'll recover.

Happy birthday.

Be thankful knowing that she has that kind of compassion and will be there for you when you get sick and old.....

Happy Birthday! I get bratty like that too, even when the logical part of me knows I'm being bratty.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's sweet that you are so sappy over your anniversary, but really, she is where she needs to be. Blood clots can be very serious - I know this. My cousin died from one that traveled to her lungs. (Pulmonary embolism.)

You'll recover.

Happy birthday.

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Oh yeah - forgot to mention: No blood clot. Allergic reaction to his bandaging.

sorry you are bummed out, hia, but happy bday and happy anniversary to both you and your wife. can you skype today, tonight to at least see each other and then when she gets back have make up bday/anniversary time together, not the same as on the actual day but she is obviously very worried about her father.

How you feel is how you feel, HIA. Happy birthday and anniversary to you both.

You know there will be other anniversaries, and that you can celebrate later. But her dad is her *only* dad. I would be with mine too under the circumstances. She is where she should be.

Doesn't make it suck any less and it certainly doesn't mean she loves you any less.

But you already knew all this. I hope her dad/your FIL pulls through ok.

I agree with Indi- if it were possible, she'd be there with you right now. And I know you'd be there with her if you were able to get time off. It's natural to be upset by something like this, and sadly there isn't much else to do but try to be supportive of her (like you always are) since it's where she needs to be.

And just think about the fact that she's most likely not going to just let it go by the wayside when she returns. She adores you as much as you adore her, at least from what I've seen her post on Facebook. I'm certain that once she gets back it'll be just as special as if it were on the actual day. And you probably already know that too, so I'm really sorry, man. Happy birthday, though, and remember- I'm here for you.

Hugs to you HIA. I can't add to the great advice you've already received.

I know... thanks everyone. I was blowing off steam so I wouldn't vent at her.

She's home now - but I've got to leave for work soon. *sigh* Oh well.

Date night tomorrow night.

Ahh, happy birthday! sad you can't be with your wife, but she obviously loves her parents and feels she needs to be there. Hopefully the two of you will have many unspoilt birthdays and anniversaries together in the years to come! Her parents may not be around that long...