she picked someone else

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12-12-12, 01:31 AM
jerrysays

she picked someone else

She picked someone else?
met a girl online and we texted for a week, and then we then met and had a real good time.we didnt make out or do anything sexual, we just talked and hung out and I gave her a big hug when we went our ways. We continued texting and she would text me while i was working saying "i miss you" or" please get off work!"...she also said i make her smile and that I was a sweet guy and couldnt wait to see me again.It looked like we were gonna be dating. we had planned on meeting twice the next week

Well I found out she met another guy and was interested in him. She was saying she had no idea what to do because she felt horrible about the situation.

well last night she let me know that she was gonna see the other guy. she said they just had a better chemisty than her and i. she said we had a good chemistry but just not as good, and that it was easier for her to see him(he lives in the same town, i'm 20 mins apart)

she said she was sorry and felt bad. i told her it was her choice and no hard feelings

and i'm not mad at her but i feel like crap. pretty much she told me"i like him better than you" i feel like i'm a failure and i keep wondering what could i have done to improve my chances.

i could have kissed her good bye, made myself clearer on my intentions( i was afraid i would come off as desperate) could have talked to her on the phone(she called one night but i was in bed, had to be at work in 6 hours and wanted to sleep)

i don't know..i just feel like crap....getting picked over *****

i still feel bad though bout myself...what do i do
12-12-12, 02:47 AM
RipVanWinkleX

You move on. That's what you do. She should feel bad for making you feel like crap, but remember you barely knew her as well. Everyone gets lonely, just have to move on.
12-12-12, 03:44 AM
basilandthyme

[QUOTE=RipVanWinkleX;854354]She should feel bad for making you feel like crapQUOTE]

Help me out here guys....when I was young in 1980's Australia we didn't date multiple people at the same time. But these days it seems that dating multiple people and then selecting the right one io the regular/expected thing to do.

So, if the current culture is to date multiple people, isn't it expected that one will eventually have to make a choice? If I understand this correctly, why should she feel bad?
12-12-12, 03:46 AM
RipVanWinkleX

[QUOTE=basilandthyme;854374]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RipVanWinkleX [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She should feel bad for making you feel like crapQUOTE]

Help me out here guys....when I was young in 1980's Australia we didn't date multiple people at the same time. But these days it seems that dating multiple people and then selecting the right one io the regular/expected thing to do.

So, if the current culture is to date multiple people, isn't it expected that one will eventually have to make a choice? If I understand this correctly, why should she feel bad?

So a woman can make a guy feel bad and not worry about feeling bad herself? If I made a woman feel like crap, I am sure to feel like crap.
12-12-12, 04:01 AM
basilandthyme

But if the culture is to date multiple people, how does one pick another person and NOT make the second choice feel like crap?
12-12-12, 04:05 AM
Love'sReject

Quote:

Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But if the culture is to date multiple people, how does one pick another person and NOT make the second choice feel like crap?

Impossible. Here in 'Murrica, the feelings of others are really inconsequential. There are still a number of 'Murricans who don't do the multiple dates type thing but that's usually relegated only to ugly women. Most hot girls have several dates a week. Besides, hot girls typically are too beautiful to have consciences: that is reserved for the more homely women.
12-12-12, 04:15 AM
RipVanWinkleX

Quote:

Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But if the culture is to date multiple people, how does one pick another person and NOT make the second choice feel like crap?

She chose to pick a couple dates. She knew she would have to break one's heart, or hope that the heart she is breaking does not care for her. It's her choice, but it comes with a price.
12-12-12, 04:18 AM
Love'sReject

[QUOTE=RipVanWinkleX;854376]

Quote:

Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So a woman can make a guy feel bad and not worry about feeling bad herself? If I made a woman feel like crap, I am sure to feel like crap.

Yes; girls are very unconscientious creatures. They lead several guys on to boost their vanity and **** all with guys who get hurt in the process.

A guy has to be an aggressive asshole to beat the competition (dating is still a primitive ritual even in 'Murrica; it's all about animalistic psychology, i.e. alpha male).
12-12-12, 04:37 AM
basilandthyme

Quote:

Originally Posted by RipVanWinkleX [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She chose to pick a couple dates. She knew she would have to break one's heart, or hope that the heart she is breaking does not care for her. It's her choice, but it comes with a price.

I take it you are not a fan of the current dating culture. Out of curiosity (not critiscism), are you of an age - like me - to have experienced dating when seeing one person at a time was the norm?
12-12-12, 04:45 AM
desktop

This is my belief as well. Personally, I cannot date more than one woman at a time, because then it feels like I'm cheating.

[QUOTE=basilandthyme;854374]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RipVanWinkleX [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She should feel bad for making you feel like crapQUOTE]
Help me out here guys....when I was young in 1980's Australia we didn't date multiple people at the same time. But these days it seems that dating multiple people and then selecting the right one io the regular/expected thing to do.
12-12-12, 05:01 AM
basilandthyme

[QUOTE=desktop;854389]This is my belief as well. Personally, I cannot date more than one woman at a time, because then it feels like I'm cheating.

I couldn't do it either.

Hanging around this board for a month or so (and a previous board for a few years), I've had to get my head around the new 'norm' of dating more than one person. And I've had to learn about not being exclusive unless a discussion has been had.

Now I'm hearing this side of the argument - which I agree with - but am grasping to understand how it fits into current attitudes.

I can only guess that it's wise to not get one's hopes too high before the exclusivity talk has been had.
12-12-12, 05:07 AM
RipVanWinkleX

Quote:

Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I take it you are not a fan of the current dating culture. Out of curiosity (not critiscism), are you of an age - like me - to have experienced dating when seeing one person at a time was the norm?

It's not that I am a fan at all. It's her choice. I don't care, but I would not date anyone who dates several people at once. If I did find out, I would just cut the relationship. I am not going to be a on a girls "list" so to speak. Also, I don't know what age you are talking about. But I am 26.
13-12-12, 08:50 AM
jerrysays

well i found out last night the reason she picked him is due to location (he's in same town, i'm 25 minutes away) and due to age. she's 20, he's 21, i'm 24

i feel much better now. sucks that she picked him but at least I know i had a chance.

she said it was not an easy decsion
13-12-12, 10:58 AM
surfhb

Quote:

Originally Posted by jerrysays [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

well i found out last night the reason she picked him is due to location (he's in same town, i'm 25 minutes away) and due to age. she's 20, he's 21, i'm 24

i feel much better now. sucks that she picked him but at least I know i had a chance.

she said it was not an easy decsion

Dude! Your words scream lack of confidence. "At least you had a chance"? Seriously?! HaHa.... Think of it this way....its her that is the looser.
13-12-12, 11:21 AM
IndiReloaded

You are waaay to attached to someone who you barely know. Even if she simply said "not into you", that should be fine. Get a grip. Plenty of other fish in the sea.