I put this in the male advice forum, but no one is answering. So, perhaps ya'll can help!
This is my first time to post. I just need some advice. I'll try to make it as short as possible and just relay the facts.
I was with a man for 3 years. We got engaged. We broke up two and a half years ago. We spent the last 2 and a half years trying to figure out how to treat each other. We stayed in contact most of that time. Which was torture. About a year ago, I decided out weird relationship needed to stop. We need to mature and have a normal friendship and not fight like we were. We didn't speak for about 6 mths(my choice) after that we become good friends. We've been friends ever since. Only talking on friend terms. I've done my best not to be emotional or romantic.
We have talked about still being attracted to each other, etc. However, our friendship has had weird spurts. This time, mostly on his part. About two weeks ago he started to ignore me. He didn't answer my texts or calls. (we normally talk 4 times a week) I finally said it hurt my feelings that he was ignoring me, because I knew him well enough to know that's what he was doing. I didn't appreciate it, and friends don't do that to friends.
He told me that he was sorry he hurt my feelings, I just had understand what would happen if we got really close again. I was dumb founded. First off, where the hell did that come from? And secondly, we have been close for a while. He said I'd flip out on him like I have in the past and would fall in love with him again.
What he doesn't know is that I've loved him this whole time. I just decided a friendship was what I wanted, and pushed the feelings aside. So, I was really concerned about where this was coming from. I asked him when he was gonna give me slack for all the BS from the past. He said "You don't get over shell shock in a month" That was a curious statement. First off, that denotes a MAJOR hurt. Which I haven't hurt him in WELL over a year. Not on that scale. Minor misunderstandings, but nothing major.
My thoughts? He was feeling something again for me. He sees the change in me and is super scared that he'd want me again. I know I hurt him REALLY badly when we were together...but I haven't done anything in a long time, on purpose. I've watched myself and made sure I've been kind, compassionate and mature.
He says he wants to be my friend. He says he WANTS to talk to me...but doesn't want us to get too close? What is that? I'm very confused. Can a male give me an idea of what this means? (Keep in mind....we live in different states now...so sex is out of the question.)
