"Melon Collie aka Juliet and the infinite sadness"

Hi everyone,
I'm finally back from the conference! Last Sunday I left to a conference for a whole week(my ex was there too) 17 hours away from home by train!

First off let me tell you what - although I had bunches of fun, I never had so much pain and suffering at once. I can't help wondering if that makes sense, though.

Thing is, my ex and I are very close friends, and we broke up over half a year ago already - now that's quite some time, don't you find. Moreover, I am positively sure that he's over me and even the affection he had for me despite all things sank in a whirlwind of time and misunderstanding, and like the flowers wither with the frost it died out with the stinging reality. I am nothing but an old flame of his, and now even his attachment to me faded out...never to lighten up again. Passion has faded out, affection has extinguished, attachment has withered out, and infatuation has gone with the wind of change..."the fiery one" he used to call me.
No attachment, no affection, nothing warm, no share of worries, no desire, no fellowship of souls, nothing comon, nothing clear...pure serenity abandoned, lost in pain and grief and sorrow, nothing left but mere civility...Destination: love. Access denied.

I'm so sorry, so collapsed, could it possibly get worse? Could things get more out of hand? Could we stand even farther apart? Oh how could we ever get here? Why am I so pained, why am I so grieved? Is rescue on its way?
I weep and cry for there seems to be no joy.