Something to Hide ?

Hello,

I need a perspective of a woman.
I have been dating this slightly older woman since August of last year. I see her about 2 hours/week always in a coffee shop or a restaurant.
She is a workaholic. She is very entrepreneur, a go-getter, motivated. She says that she never wanted any children and has no regrets about that.

She has at least 2 other men in her life. Her ex-boyfriend of 10 years which she broke-up with last spring that she says she sees him every single day still.
She also has a long distance relationship with a man from Portland, USA that she met at a Conference on mental health.

I have so much in common with this women it is almost scary.
I told her that I would like to have more children againl She said that she would like to be friend with benefits.
We have never been intimate together. She has told me that she does not want to marry me and that she does not want to sleep with me.
However, she has flipped-flopped on those issues.

She has asked me to travel with her. She has also asked me if I would start a business with her.
Should I break-up with this woman and move ON ?
Why is she asking me to be a business partner with her ?

I know she is at least twice as rich as me.
Comments ??>?

Paolo

Good lord really? She told you her expectations and they do not match yours, so why do you need to ask? It's a no brainer you can do better than this. Stop seeing her, you are just spinning your wheels.

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You don't have much in common if she only wants to have friends with benefits when you are looking for a wife to have kids with. You lack experience? No really popular with the ladies? Have trouble finding a GF?

Paolo, this doesn't even qualify as dating. There is no relationship to break-up

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Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Paolo, this doesn't even qualify as dating. There is no relationship to break-up

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I am attracted to this women.
She talks openly about her finances and her financial transactions in her personal life and business career.
I have never know anyone to be so open about their finances as she was with me.

I felt that she inspired me in some ways and valued my friendship with her.
It bothered me alot that she always insisted in meeting me at a Coffee Shop or at a local Restaurant.
The only time that I went to her home is when I accepted to pick her up and drop her off at the airport so that she could goto the funeral of the mother of her
long distance boyfriend. She new of his mother death on Wednesday, promptly cancelled her classes and booked a flight to Chicago from Saturday to Tuesday night.

I found out that her ex-boyfriend went to pick her up at the airport. She did not want to tell me.
Before leaving for Chicago we spoke almost daily over the phone, internet and text. I felt our relationship had momentum.
Since she came back from Chicago in February, I felt our relationship was more distant. She was more iritated when I asked to many questions and she let me know.

She still said that she would like to be a business partner with me and maybe travel with me.
I had reservations. I had let her know that I wish that our relationship could be more intimate .............

It irritated me that she never invited me to her house. Once I invited her to my house and she said that she did not want to sleep with me.
She only wanted to friends with me. I have never been in a situation like this before.

She broke-up with me but said she would remain friends when I get married with another woman.
Comments.

Paolo

You have been friends zoned. Please read the ladder theory. http://www.laddertheory.com/ladderconstruction.htm

Being open doesn't mean she's into you. It only means that she's inclined to overshare.

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Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Being open doesn't mean she's into you. It only means that she's inclined to overshare.

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We both have the same job at different colleges. We both are into real estate.
I have been more reserved about my finances and only told her general things, more than I tell anyone.

In my communications, with her she became irritated that I would keep in touch every 2-3 days.
I think she wanted more space to connect with her long distance relationship from Portland.
At one point she even asked if I would goto Portland. She was testing me. I declided.
She said she would break up with him, but the next week was into him again.
She told me her long distance relationship had a DUI 10 years ago and did not exercise regularly like she did.

She told me at some point that I had thrust issues and that she needed to feel passion in order to have sex.
Even at 47, she was an attractive women and told me she had numerous boyfriends in the last year alone.
In a way, that made me feel a special number.

Was she trying to tell me something ?
Early on in our relationship, she had said that I was not good on picking-up on signals from women.
I agree, but I feel I made alot of progress with that over time.

Did I miss the ball ?
Why was she always so distant ? meeting in coffee shops and restaurants ?
I felt she was a married women looking for something on the side. It felt that way. A player ..
Some one told me that she is a woman that wants to be in control of her relationships.


Paolo

Dude! Stop !

She's not into you! Let it go and find a girl who is.

These are the type of women you avoid...you're old enough to know that, right?

shes babout to con you out of loads of cash ,people only talk of their finances when they want to put you at ease by making yiu think they got plenty so not after yours,,,get out now!!!

that woman is up to no good run away besides the thing you have is not a relationship.

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She still said that she would like to be a business partner with me and maybe travel with me.

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She's setting you up.

Go no contact and stop thinking that she wants you for anything more then her financial source.

If she really wanted YOU, you'd know it and you'd have no need to start a thread about her... Common Sense.

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She also has a long distance relationship with a man from Portland, USA that she met at a Conference on mental health.

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What is her issue that she'd need to go to a conference on mental health? If she's not a doctor of some sort then???

This woman name let`s call her Margaret. She told me that she does alot of volunteer work and is involved in alot of different things.
This woman has told me that she owns 3 houses, all over 1/2 million dollars + 1 commercial property.

When meeting her in person she would talk to me about the other men in her life, more specifically her lover from Portland.
At one point she told me he had a DUI over 10 years ago and did not exercise regularly.

She had planned a trip to Hawaii months ago. She even asked me if I would go. I was evasive. My career is taking off and needs my full focus.
She told me that her lover from Portland would be meeting her in Hawaii but he would be paying his ticket. She would be only paying for the food.
She said things were expensive in Hawaii. She told she owns a time-share there and the last time she went was 4 years ago and some times would go for more than 2 weeks that she has planned this time around.

She told that she texts, calls and Skypes with her lover from Portland every single day.
Despite that she likes to tease me.

When asking me to drive up to her far which is about 150km away, she asked me to meet her at a Boston Pizza about 50 km from her farm.
Saying that the weather conditions were not too good on her farm and that there might be mud.

This irritates me alot. Then during the conversation at the Boston Pizza she asked me :`"Do I give my mechanic a blowjob ?"
Why does she ask me that ? Is she teasing with me ? Has doubts about her lover from Portland ? Has some sexual fantasy about me ?
Thinks that I am stupid ?

About 3 days later, she told me that she could not see me for an entire 5 day long week-end.
I told that if I could not see her I would consider ending our friendship.
The next mornign she invited me to a movie.

To my surprise. SHe paid for the movie. But I had to pay for my snack. She only took a large coffee.
During the movie she was receiving texts on her smarthphone. Another movie goer asked her to turn off her smarthphone.

By impulse, during the movie, I put my hand on her knee. She got very mad/defensive and rushed out of the teatre after the movie.
I asked her for a hug, but she refused saying NO.

She said she could not see my anymore.
However, in another meail she said she would stay friends if I would find a girlfriend and get married.
Comments ??

Paolo

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Further, when I went to pick her to give her a lift to the airport I briefly went into her home.
I believe that she has alot of money but she is very protective of her money. She talks about it alot to me in person. But is not a big spender.
She keeps asking me if I want to pay for her and keeps reminding me to give 15% tip. I think that 10% is more than reasonable.

2 business partners can get into business with a well defined contract. That could work ???
She is a workaholic. It seems everything that she does resolves around making money or new ways of making even more money.
I sometime admire her but am irritated by her.

She has never seen my house of cared for where I live.
Other dates/women I have been with jumped to know that first.
She is very vague about her future plans, I only see her about 2 hours/week and can realy talk or connect with her, it seems she likes my company but it is in a public setting where you can`t get intimate or discuss personal details at length and depth. I am irrirated by that.

Comments ??

Paolo

Paolo, go find someone else. She's lying about her money and is setting up to take yours.

Run !

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Originally Posted by ptreves [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why does she ask me that ? Is she teasing with me ? Has doubts about her lover from Portland ? Has some sexual fantasy about me ?
Thinks that I am stupid ?

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My guess is the last one.

No, I don't think she has anything to hide. I think she's been very up-front with you about what she wants and expects, and you don't want to believe her.

She said she wants to give the other man a blowjob. She must want to give ME a blowjob! WHY ISN'T SHE GIVING ME A BLOWJOB?!

www.loveforum.net > New Thread > "Woman Not Giving Me Blowjob"

You misunderstood : she said asked ME "If I give my mechanic a blowjob".

Yes, I agree she has been very upfront about her finances and her other relationships.
I think that I see a very intelligent woman that is good in business but just wants a companion for diner dates and movies as well as a travel companion. Nothing more. Maybe a business partner. If contracts are well written I think it could work.

I think also that she likes to tease or flirt once in a while.

I am getting this right ?
Yes, she has money. She has 3 cars and 3 houses + 1 business.
Yes, she everything that she does revolves around making more money.

At the movie teater, I felt that she was acting like my babysitter. I think she is over-excited that she is going to Hawaii with her lover from Portland and had just been impatient and a little rude with ME. On one occasion she told me that she did not wish to marry him.

Why is she sharing/telling me so much details ?
I am getting this right ?

Comments ???

Paolo

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I am thinking alot about this.
I am also getting the impression that she is a lonely woman and like she said needs to find passion to have sex.
That lover from Portland text, calls and Skypes every single day and she has fallen in love with him, flew to Portland to see him and had sex with him there.

She flew to Chicago when his mother died. Now she is flying to Hawaii for 2 weeks with him.
She told me she would consider renting all her properties and looking for work in Portland but flip-flopped on that.

I am uncertain what her plans are or where this is going.
Comments ...

Paolo

PS: She is the richest woman that I have ever know or "dated" or be-friended.

What possible difference does ANY of that shit make?! Get a grip, man.

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Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What possible difference does ANY of that shit make?! Get a grip, man.

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You all seem unanimous on this one. I should let her go and move ON, find someone else ?

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By the way, I am particularly interested on the perspective of a FEMALE.

I fee that she is like the queen bee, with these different men in her life. She wants to be in control.
She is a financially successfull woman. She said that she would still go out with me if I had a girlfriend and would miss me.
I am thinking to wait about 1 month, well after she returns from Hawaii before contacting her again ??
Comments ?

Paolo

Smackie, BasilandThyme and Wakeup are all females. Try again.

I can confirm Basil is indeed a female.

Some women keep a stable of men swarming around them at all times. They like the attention. They know how to pull him back in when he starts to get fed up with her games. When he gets keenly interested she knows how to put him at bay. You won't get anywhere with this woman. She doesn't need a man in her life. She may like the companionship, but guys like you are a dime a dozen. You may provide some entertainment value, but you are expendable. Except for gaining valuable experience, which you sound like you need, you are wasting your time if you want marry or even sleep with this one. I concur with everyone else that you should move on.

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I am thinking to wait about 1 month, well after she returns from Hawaii before contacting her again ??
Comments ?

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Yes, I have another.

One: She knows you'll come back to her. Around her finger, you are wrapped.
Two: If, on the odd chance she's read you wrong and you don't contact her ever again ~ She won't give a ****. Should she contact you. Don't mistake it to mean more then pure curiosity to see if she can pull you back in again.

You are most naïve... certainly you're about as sharp as a marble when it comes to reading this twat you're obsessed with.

Now... that may not be what would be considered lady like in verbiage however; I'm certainly a woman.

Dear Paolo,

You are obsessed with "This woman". If you keep throwing yourself on her, you are the one who is going to get hurt. The moment you start dating other girls, you would see that she will be the one to be running after you.

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Originally Posted by rest77 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Dear Paolo,

You are obsessed with "This woman". If you keep throwing yourself on her, you are the one who is going to get hurt. The moment you start dating other girls, you would see that she will be the one to be running after you.

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She told me that she would still go out with me if I had a girlfriend. That sounds pretty sincere and authentic to me.
Looks like she likes my company. All this I find very confusing. I have never been in a situation like this before.

This is something else that I consider. I get the feeling that this woman is seeking attention and affection from a man.
That man that gives her the most attention and affection wins her heart.
Am I correct in reading this and her lover from Portland ?

She lives in Toronto.
However, even though she has a long distance relationship, she still flew away to Portland (a long distance relationship) instead of sleeping with me.
I think that I might have been to timid where as her long distance relationship kept on calling her all day, texting her and even Skype all day and she went for it.
For myself, I was just like calling or emailing her every 2-3 days and making diner plans for Friday or Saturday nights for about 2 hours/week.

I get the impression that everything that she does revolves around making money.
At some point, I told her that I would consider buying a house or maybe a small business in a neighbouring community and she found that interesting.
She told me she has been eyeing a business for over 3 years. Joking, I said that I might buy it.

She has asked me if I would start/run a business with her. She said that she made 1$ million dollars running a Learning Centre a couple of years ago.
Is this women setting me up ?
Is she serious in her intensions or just out for money ?

I don`t see anything wrong with someone wanting to make money. If proper contracts that clearly define roles and responsibilities I see alot of potential for collaboration.
She has been sweet. She told me her ex-common law partner of 10 years was worth 40 million dollars.

Comments ?

Paolo

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She told me that she needs to feel Passion to have sex. She was getting passion from her long distance lover from Portland.
Maybe if I would have been more passionate I could have won her heart.
Am I "reading" this right or am I just spinning my wheels and dreaming in color ?

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I was feeling more and more that I was in a competition and I was loosing.

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You are most naïve... certainly you're about as sharp as a marble when it comes to reading this twat you're obsessed with.

twat ??? What do you mean by twat ???

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FYI...She said that she would be willing to help me find a girlfriend. What kind of woman says something like that ?
However, she would still go out with me if I had a girlfriend. Confusing ????

Comments !!!!

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twat - obscene terms for female genitals

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Originally Posted by ptreves [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You all seem unanimous on this one. I should let her go and move ON, find someone else ?

Paolo

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YES.

We finally have a winner, folks!!
:emot66:

I just keep thinking back on this experience/relationship if you like.
She is the kind of woman that craves attention. Her lover from Portland is constantly in contact with her, texting her, emailing her Skype every day.
He showers her with attention and affection. She is in love with him.
Even it is a long distance relationship.

I think that what she was looking for from me was a companion. Nothing more or nothing less. Nothing sexual or intimate.
We would go out to a restaurant for dinner Saturday night at stay till the restaurant closes around 10:30PM.
Then she would leave and both go our own way. I know think that she would go back home online or text to her long distance lover from Portland.

She told me that he asked her to marry him. However, she told me that she did not intend to marry him.
She told me that she would feel all goose pumps when she would be talking to him each day........
That guy will not let go of her and I think that she loves that.

Comments ...

Paolo

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Why was she sharing all this with me ? about her lover ?
She told me he did not exercise and had a DUI 10 years ago.

Should I interpret that as an opener ? or she was just looking for a friend to vent too ?

Comments ?

Paolo