In love with 2 girls - need help!
im nornally not the type to seek help online but i really need some advice on my situation.il give you a little quick bio of me first. im a 25 year old male. works full time and has a decent job. I live in my own place on my own in a city away from my family who i see regularly. my lifes not perfect right now and im looking into my future and how i plan to go from this point on but one thing that has always been a problem with me is relationshils. i am already divorced have been so since 23. no kids thankfully but the end of my 5 year relationship with her was messy as hell. long story short she ran off with my neighbor and a huge mess of bad fights occured shortly after. i also have a messy family life with my dad being mentally ill and living in a shelter and my mom with her own problems with my brother. i say all this because i feel like it plays a part in how my relationships tend to go.
so to get to the point. i am currently haveing.very strong feelings for 2 separate girls. one is an ex gf (i will get to that in a second) and the other is a girl i met a few years back and have been in an out of contact with. she is from mexico and here on a long stay on a tourist visa.
first my ex gf. she is youger than me. at this time only 20 years old. the positives is that we have an incredible connection as 2 people. we talk and joke around as if we were best friends not as boyfriend and girlfriend. we also have an incredible sexual connection. me haveing. both of us have been the people to sleep around a lot and both of ua are very good in.the bedroom. the attraction and mutual sexual abilitys makes for honestly the best sex i have had in my life hands down. yet we can also do anything togeather and have fun. we love the same music ect. now for the reason she is an ex gf: i found out the hard way the first week of having a title mayby a little longer she cheated on me with 4 differant people. according to her she stopped after that after feeling guilty after she started feeling an emotional connection forming however with my experiances i have little trust in women. she has said she would do anything to prove to me that i can trust her her including full accses to her phone and putting a gps so id always know where she is but what happened after what happened with my ex wife the pain of being to enotionally close to her is hard to bear. from what i have heard she has a screwed up past as well. she was abused several times. it was bad enough that she may not be able to have kids. like some people that happebs to she became very permiscous sleeping with somewhere in the range of 40 people. and before you say anything yes i have been checked. hobestly her last dosnt bother me. what bothers me is her lifestyle rode into mine and hurt me. theres a lot nore to it vut for the aake of saving time il leave that as it is now.
enter the second girl. i met her at a bar 2 years ago. she is the niece of an ex coworker of mine. she is not from the us she is from mexico but speaks english well. she is my age. she is an incredible sweet person (or at least to me. il get to that) and i feel great around her. i feel like i could do anything and travel the world with her. she has already lived in several countrys and even studied tourisim in college. i feel differant with her and she is the kinda girl i could see raising kids with and being good marrage material. we have a lot of fun as well. yesterday we went skydiving togeather and spent all day before and after drivinf along the coast and talking. my connection with her is very mental and less sexual . that is not to say she is not beautiful. she is petite amd in great shape and honestly very attractive. i pactically have to push other guys away from her. she is also good in bed but its bot the same as my ex gf. we have more cultural differances between us and as much as we do have stuff in common there is not quit that feeling of super close friendship between us.. now for the bad of it: she has a boyfriend in mexico. yes she is cheating on him with me however i feel it is pretty complicated for her.she has told me she feels like she is in love with both of us. she feels like its wrong but she cant let me go. she also is almost expected to marry this guy as he is close with her family. yet i belive she is afraid of that as i doubt she would have come here for 6 months to get away and have space before she makes that plunge.
i could seriusly write a lot more but i dont want to go on for to long. i love both these girls and both tell me they love me. I was hooking up with a couple other people after breaking up with the other but i stopped because it felt wrong when im with the other girl. yet now i find myaelf also not wanting to let go of my ex. the night beforw i had my amazing and even romantic skydiving day i was sleeping with my ex and taking her out to hookah togeather. I dont know what to do. the one from mexico dosnt know about my ex. my ex kbows i was "seeing somebody" but dosnt know the details. i dont want her to know about the other one because she knows about her and knows she has a bf and thinks we are just friends. i dont know what to do. before this i was trying to play the game a little vy sleeping around and enjoying being single but i dont want that anymore. i want to be with them. BOTH of them as bad as it sounds. i know somethings gotta give though amd i kbow of i choose the one from mexico theres only one way that can go amd thats offering to marry her. either that or just let it be fun as it is but i risk losing my ex as well to doing that. somevody give me some advice please. i feel selfish and feel bad about all of this. id prob lean twards my ex if it was not for the pain that comes up when i feel myaelf beong to emotionally close. yet this other girl makes me feel alive. idk what to do
ps sorry in advance for typos. i did this on my phone. thanks everyone in advance.
