Keeping it to myself..

I'm in Love. I've never said it aloud. Only to myself in my own mind.
Took me a long time to even admit it to myself.

His name is Brad and he lives 3 hours away from me. We started off friends for a little bit, then things progressed to more. It all started 3 years ago.. We never actually dated or called us official bf/gf..distance was what held that back...I remember the day we had our 1st kiss, as if it was yesterday. And today? he has a gf, going on 6 months..I have tried moving on, but I couldn't figure out why it was so hard. Normally after a little while I would be ok. But thats when I realized it wasn't like other times. I learned to accept things the way they were, but my love was always there for him. Maybe I'm trying to ignore it.. I don't talk to anyone about my feelings for him.

I still tear up, sometimes actually cry, thinking about the fact we are not together how I feel we should be. I'm not crying because hes dating someone else, its because I care about him so much, and we live so far apart. I've tried Long Distance, its very tough. Since hes been dating this girl, he has said things to me that really make it worse. We saw each other recently and he came over to talk to me. He mentioned he had a gf, but in a way as if he really wished he didnt. I told him right away that it was his choice, he did agree. And told me that the only thing that keeps us apart is the distance. He knows I've thought about moving there my whole life, I have many friends where he lives.. and he added that if i lived there, he would drop everything to be with me. I didnt say anything after that.. I was speechless. He wants to move to my city, but he can't do it due to his father. They own a company together, and his father doesn't want to move.

I only see him once every few months.. but I think about him every day. and quite honestly I don't know what to do anymore. Has anyone of you felt this way? I'm not hanging on, but should I still keep an open mind to this situation between him and I? I'm only 22, but ahead in life, Ive got a great career and looking to move out now, and hes 23, a business co-owner, out on his own, his gf is 20, in college. Don't get me wrong, i'm not comparing, I just want you to know that im not some immature teener bopper lol but anywas... anything can happen, as long as hes happy then of course i'm happy for him. I will not interfer, but I feel deep down this isn't over. I just don't know if I should just live my life keeping an open mind about this, or just "erase him completely"... if even possible...

I just would appreciate some opinions...

*Sunshine7

Would you have any other reason to move there besides Brad? Would it be a career-killer?

I think you should tell him you have no reason to move three hours away to be with a guy who isn't even single. Continue that conversation he started. Insist that he end it with her if he's to be involved with you.

And long-distance is hard, but not impossible, not when you have a plan to be together.

well... the only reason I'd want to move there is to have a change in life. Something new. I wouldn't move there just for him though.. no it wouldn't be a career killer for me, hense why I made him aware I'm flexible if hes not.
I'm sure this conversation will come up again.. it seems when he sees me, sparks fly.. so to speak.
& you do have a point.. end it with her if he longs to be with me.. but I don't want to be the entire reason..as romantic as that may be haha it would just make things messy for him. I will on the other hand tell him that if he really feels this way he should re-think his ways, he already knows i'm crazy about him. A lot of talking would have to be done if he chooses me in the end..

Any other opinions on this?

He needs to dump his girl if his true interest is you. You need to tell him to shove off until he does (sure, be friends, but stop the romantic stuff).

Then, once you're both available, go slow. Visit each other, see how it goes. Set a plan, as Giga says. If all is well in a few month - a year, then consider *carefully* about one of you making a move. Good luck.

I don't know what to say of the entire situation, but the fact that he's got a girlfriend bothers me... Sounds kind of like he needs to sort out what he's feeling, because no one should be with a girl (especially for six months) if they're just settling for the best option at the moment.

The fact that you have friends out there helps; it'd mean that you wouldn't be moving there just for him. I guess another concern, though, would be trying to reverse that if it did work out between you for a while, but if it ended... Since he's the major reason, you might then feel as if you can't stay there anymore. Wherever you decide to be, have more than one reason. More than one reason that's on the same scale--not just him plus a lot of little things.

I also agree with what GigaBitch said. Continue the conversation. Have him sort things out as a prerequisite to you moving, because there really is no point to going at all--especially since he's the center of this--if he's just going to stay in his current relationship. That would just hurt, I think.