Long distance relationship- rejected after first meeting, please advise

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23-10-14, 06:51 AM
markl5798

Long distance relationship- rejected after first meeting, please advise

I met this woman through Craigs list 6 months ago. We live in 2 different state . We started emailing and then started texting. We would talk every day and we started getting very close to each other, but due to our work schedules were unable to meet in person. I really liked her and we would exchange several miss you's and kisses via text. Sometime she would tell me how she wishes I was there spending time with her. She gave me a lot of hope and I think I got in more deep in this relationship than her. I would wish her good night every night, but she may not respond every time. I was very understanding as she worked a lot and had 4 children to attend to. She also had some rough time with several things and I was always there for her supporting her. Even when busy at work I made sure that I would respond to her. I was completely devoted to her.

So we finally met last week. I had some time and I flew up to meet her. I took her to an expensive restaurant for dinner and took her some expensive chocolates as gift for her graduation. The meeting seemed to go very well. Lot of eye contact and smiles etc. We spent almost 3 hours talking. After we were done I walked her to the car. No thank you from her for coming all the way to meet her or treating her to dinner or the chocolates.

That night I texted her and asked her if she liked me. She sent me some very vague texts but no answer. The next day I didn't ask her about it again, just had some general chat. Then that evening I got a text saying she is not attracted to me and there is no connection. I was devastated and almost in tears. What about all the time we had spend talking about how we liked each other. I felt so rejected. I got on the plane the next day and came back. I decided not to contact her again and trying to heal my broken heart and find someone more worthy.

Now I heard from her again last Sunday, saying how sorry things didn't work out and hope I am ok. I am a person that holds no grudges against anyone I told her not to worry and we should move on. But she has started contacting me again like how is your day, good morning, good night etc. I have been responding to those but am confused. I don't understand her intentions. Does she want to be friends or trying to get back to me. I don't want to be rejected again. Now if she does come back and say she changed her decision I may reconsider, but there is no guarantee that she will not do it again.
What do you guys think I should do.
23-10-14, 08:21 AM
surfhb

First of all I'm rather concerned that you were so emotionally involved with a person you've never met. It was good that you flew to meet her but what did you possibly believe would come of this?

Just ignore her texts and find someone in your home town. She's just trying to boost her own ego by seeing if you respond
23-10-14, 10:38 PM
TablesandChairs

Well, meeting her was meant to be the confirmation stage and you got that; a confirmation that things won't proceed. While it might seem like a waste of time/money - it'll save you wasting even more time. Don't worry about her texts; they're 'friendly' only - if she was into you, then things would have progressed very differently given the effort you went to. Move on.
24-10-14, 07:11 AM
TheEvilJester

You know, if I were you, I'd be thinking I could probably make a lovely chandelier out of her bones. But, I don't really suggest that. Nasty having to deal with cleaning up all the evidence, and who wants to go to jail? :P

Seriously, though, she sounds like the kind of scumbag you'd be so much better off not having in your life. At least she had the decency just to be honest with you, though. It could certainly have been much worse. At least she didn't string you along just hoping that you'd "get the hint." But, it was still wrong to act so enamored with you in the first place and then just suddenly lose interest. Mind you, it would be reasonable not to get too attached before meeting in person, but it really does not sound like that is what she did. Sounds like you both got pretty attached. I'd personally recommend against getting all that attached before you've actually met somebody, and this sort of thing is particularly why.

My personal recommendation would be to break all contact with her. You don't need a "friend" like her. Furthermore, don't get yourself hung up on somebody you cannot have, especially one it sounds like doesn't deserve you in the first place. Good luck, friend.
24-10-14, 03:22 PM
markl5798

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheEvilJester [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You know, if I were you, I'd be thinking I could probably make a lovely chandelier out of her bones. But, I don't really suggest that. Nasty having to deal with cleaning up all the evidence, and who wants to go to jail? :P

Seriously, though, she sounds like the kind of scumbag you'd be so much better off not having in your life. At least she had the decency just to be honest with you, though. It could certainly have been much worse. At least she didn't string you along just hoping that you'd "get the hint." But, it was still wrong to act so enamored with you in the first place and then just suddenly lose interest. Mind you, it would be reasonable not to get too attached before meeting in person, but it really does not sound like that is what she did. Sounds like you both got pretty attached. I'd personally recommend against getting all that attached before you've actually met somebody, and this sort of thing is particularly why.

My personal recommendation would be to break all contact with her. You don't need a "friend" like her. Furthermore, don't get yourself hung up on somebody you cannot have, especially one it sounds like doesn't deserve you in the first place. Good luck, friend.

Thanks for the great advice. I really appreciate it.

Yes. I do believe what she did was very wrong. She gave me a lot of hope. She even told me she was getting passports ready to travel with me to Canada.
She used to tell me how she thinks of me all the time and misses me. Such empty insincere words. Things like those don't change in a day.
I still miss her and just trying to get my life back in order and then she comes back again trying to contact me and cause more destruction.

- - - Updated - - -

Quote:

Originally Posted by TablesandChairs [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, meeting her was meant to be the confirmation stage and you got that; a confirmation that things won't proceed. While it might seem like a waste of time/money - it'll save you wasting even more time. Don't worry about her texts; they're 'friendly' only - if she was into you, then things would have progressed very differently given the effort you went to. Move on.

Thank you for advice. I appreciate it.

- - - Updated - - -

Quote:

Originally Posted by surfhb [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

First of all I'm rather concerned that you were so emotionally involved with a person you've never met. It was good that you flew to meet her but what did you possibly believe would come of this?

Just ignore her texts and find someone in your home town. She's just trying to boost her own ego by seeing if you respond

Thank you for the advice. I appreciate it.