Girlfriend keeps suggesting breaks, says she sees me as a friend, help...

I am 21 and my girlfriend is 19. We are in college. We have been dating for almost exactly a year, and it has been the best year of my life. She was my first serious girlfriend, and also the girl I lost my virginity too. She has had a few boyfriends before me. Up until about a month ago, our relationship was perfect. She was my best friend, we were so in love, and she was so fun to be around and affectionate. She is extremely attractive, all my friends are so jealous, I will never find a girl like her again she is literally perfect, short, dirty blonde, beautiful exotic face, amazing body, and she is so sweet, I love her so much. We have been through a lot together, her parents got divorced, she wanted to transfer schools but didn't get in, she describes the last year of her life as "miserable" but I have always been there for her.

Anyways recently she has suggested that we take breaks. We keep not speaking during the week but then end up talking/hanging out while drunk on the weekends. She has recently said that she just sees me as a friend, and it is painfully obvious when we hangout. We haven't had sex in about 6 weeks, it seems that all of her love/attraction for me is gone. She says she wants to be single so she can focus on herself for once, since her life has been so miserable. I just don't know what to do anymore, we had a plan to date for the year and then take a 2 year break once I graduated and she would still be in college, and then try to get back together after that. She used to say she wanted to marry me, and now she doesn't even love me.

She keeps saying people change, that it isn't her fault, that it is her, not me. I just cannot accept that my girlfriend who used to be so in love with me all of a sudden sees me as a friend, like it hurts so much. She says she wants this relationship to work out, but doesn't think it will. She has just changed so much, I have done nothing wrong, she says I am perfect, it's all her. I don't know what to do. We are currently on a break until Saturday when she agreed to come to my fraternity's date night with me. I see it as my last chance of keeping the thing most important to me in this world.

What should I do, I can't lose her, I really can't

From what I see is that she used you as an emotional crutch to get her through the "worst year" of her life. Now that the storm has cleared she's ready to find herself and who she is. Sadly you are a reminder of her rough time...now she wants to close that chapter and start new.

Sorry but she is right, people do change and fall out of love. You can't force someone to stay in love with you and hard as it is to hear that...life can suck for sure....got to just keep on movin on.

Tip: when poeple are in the early stages of a relationship called the honeymoon period, they will talk of marriage and a future together blah blah balh....but that is all it is, just talk and it should never be taken as a promise.

Since this is your first everything, I hope what I told you here is something you can learn from.

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Originally Posted by lookingforadvic [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What should I do, I can't lose her, I really can't

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Yes, you can, and you have. Sucks, but that is just how it is.

You will get over it, you will learn from it, and you'll learn to see the signs in future relationships to come. You don't even realize how much time you have, you're only 21. You will find someone new, or a few someone news in the future. Let it go, don't let it bring you down, and move on.

At such a young age it would have been unusual if she had not changed. I second everything that smackie said, apart from her "using" you, which she probably didn't do deliberately as the word implies.

She wants you to make things easier for her and break up with her. A break is just a cowards way of creating distance so its easier for them to officially break up with you in a month, 6months or a year depending on how long she will drag this out for.

Its over. Im sorry. I know it hurts but you need to accept it so you can heal and move on with your life. Let her go.

Sometimes people do just fall out of love and theres nothing you can do to change her mind. Its hard now but it gets easier.

You need to officially break up, accept it and have zero contact so you can get over her. The first couple of months are the hardest but it gets better

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You have already lost her. The breaks are baby steps toward a permanent break up. The drunken hang outs on the weekends are a combo of her being a "nice" person who did care about you & who doesn't want to see you hurt plus laziness because with you around she gets adoration without too much effort.

You need to move away from this. Find other friends. Don't hang out on the weekends. Make the break permanent so you can have fun & do what you want over the holiday break with your high school friends. Come back to school for spring semester & go looking for a new relationship.