heart-broken..

sob... my fren has found his special someone.. i know this day will come.. but when it finally comes, my heart still feels the pinch, no matter how prepared i am.

he proclaims his love for her on the msn. all his msn contacts can read his msg.. got to admire his courage. he said he'll love her v much.. does he stand a chance? he asked her. i dun know the girl's response. and i don't wanna know.

why am i always the one suffering in all aspects of life? be it love, career, social life, family.. i know its due to my lack of self-confidence. not enough inner faith in myself.. any small matter will trigger my self-doubt.. is it because of me? did i cause this problem? did i upset my boss? have i offended him? is he upset with me? first things in my head are always negtive thoughts.

i really like this guy.. ironically.. bump into his public moment of proclaiming love to another gal on msn.. is god sending some signals to me? that i should finally let go?

i think im going crazy. fear of rejection.. fear of uncertainty.. i feel like crying.

just think how lucky you are. he might be getting an STD right now and dying in a couple of years, while you are safe at home watching TV.

Eat chocolate. Seriously.

Cloe, have you ever heard about the law of atracction? maybe you have seen the movie "the Secret." Well, if you havent heard about this, maybe is time for you to take a look on this and start changing your life. This universal law says that you attract what you think about the most. If you are always having negative thought, thinking that nobody likes you, that your boss doesnt want you or that you will never have that person you like, well it is easy, you will attract that to your life. You will keep having those results until you change your mindset. Just try, try on having positive thought often. Whenever your have a negative thought or feel unworhty, say cancel, and think of a positive outcome for that negative thought.
What is actually happening to you is that you feel that you dont deserve the best. You feel unworthy, you feel that you dont deserve what you want, you are in your lack. You should stop and think about what you want and start looking for that with faith.
I really understand you because I've been there. I felt the same way until I decided to change. I found a great coach that guide me and help on the way. You may have to do that. there is a great book that would serve you a lot, it is called "7Steps to Attracting Your Most Compatible and Loving Relationship" by Arash Vossoughi.
I hope this helped you.
The best