looking to vent and possibly some help.. thanks

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03-01-11, 11:06 AM
zal

looking to vent and possibly some help.. thanks

Hello there,

As a disclaimer, I'm just looking to vent and possibly get some feedback.. I can't really talk to any of my close friends about this.

So, as a back story, I am best friends with a girl we shall call her "Josie" and we have been engaged twice, with each of us causing 1 of the break ups. We've been best friends since we were in 8th grade and started dating in 9th grade. We're 21/22 years old right now. We had a bad break up and been separated for over a year now but since she bought her house after our apartment, we've been spending a lot of time together because of doing things around the house. The more and more time I spend with her the more and more I'm falling in love with her again but I don't think I should say anything. Everyone including her family and mine keep asking if we're back together because we are always around each other. Her family treats me like family even though we're no longer together (they're my second family that just expects me to be there just like anyone else there). We tell the family we're not together (because we aren't) and it just feels like we are though. We act like a married couple helping each other with everything, but there just isn't the passionate part of a relationship. I just don't know what to do about this. I'm pretty sure I shouldn't say anything to her because she doesn't want a relationship with me but it's really just getting worse and worse and I just want to come out and say "I love you and it's getting harder and harder to not be with you, so please just give me my space so I can try to get through it." I know she doesn't want anything with me and I don't want to be a complete asshole to her for no reason, but I'm slowly becoming more mean as time goes on because I want to push her away so I can clear my head. I think one of the reasons I'm stuck on her is because I cant seem to hold on to anyone of the girls I am talking to but she's always there for me.

Can a girl give me some advice as to what you think of my situation? I know I'm a crazy guy for even living with my ex-fiance.. but we are that strong of friends that we can make things work even though it's really hard.

Thanks.
03-01-11, 11:15 AM
xxazurexx

Why are you being mean to her? Is she actually forcing you to remain in this 'friends' relationship? You are there and because it is 'your' choice to be there and your main reason for being there is because you are living around in hopes that things will change, even when you know they will not. So don't blame her, blame yourself and if you cant and don't have the guts to get out.

In situations like this and if you can't deal with friends, you would be best off parting the ways and for good and before your resentment grows further.

Move out of her home and finding your own place to live would be a good start.
03-01-11, 03:19 PM
MerryH

Quote:

but we are that strong of friends

No you're not. (Because you're in love with her.)

Quote:

we can make things work even though it's really hard.

It's not working. (Because you're in love with her.)

Quote:

I just want to come out and say "I love you and it's getting harder and harder to not be with you, so please just give me my space so I can try to get through it."

How is saying this to her being an asshole? It's not. Asshole behavior would be for you to stick around, pretending to be besties with her when you really just want to get back together with her. Be honest with her, cut contact for a long long time (forever), move into your own place.