My ex contacting me after no contact for about 2 months.

Good day everyone, I and my ex broke up about three months ago and at first I find it hard to live without her but as the day goes bye I manged to scale through. Suddenly two weeks ago I decided to call her, and suddenly she started calling me back sending text messages and telling me things I never thought she would share with me again. yesterday was her birthday and I never wanted to call her but someone called and told me that I was supposed to call that she still love me that he called her and asked bout me and she said I didn't call her, that he just finished talking to her that she said I was the problem. So I called and she was happy I called (at least from her response). And was asking me a lot of questions which I turned her down. Jokingly by just telling her it's your birthday so let's just talk about making you happy. Then suddenly she ask since its her birthday do I want to apologize for all the wrong I did to her? Again I said is this the right time to talk about all this? Then she was calm. The story goes on and on. But I want your advice because even though I want her back I don't want to ruin it by making any mistakes. I just want to know how things can get better at this stage. She doesn't take my calls before but now she calls using different things as an excuse to text and call me. Playing I need your advice cause I don't want us to be just friends.she also told me that she uploaded her birthday pictures on facebook and asked me if I didn't see them? I told her I'm too busy now that I don't really have time for facebook now then he said maybe I should log on and see them and also said no wonder I didn't comment on them. But I still have feelings for her obviously but I don't know how to make this work at the moment. Thank you in advance.

Hello and good day back to you as well, daffetz.

So she and the guy got you to call her basically to ambush you into giving her an apology on her bday? I wouldn't have apologized, but, you did - so cannot take it back. Wasn't nice to put you on the spot though.

Did she do anything wrong to you in the relationship? So the pictures in some sort of mind game too it seems. Can't she just be straightforward with you about what she wants from you? Just ask her. Tell you don't like games and what would she like from you, to try again, be friends only.

Why did you break up?

We can't give you advice on just what you had posted. We need some background, like your ages, how often you fight, the reason why you broke up, who broke up with who, what are your expectations?

i would let her go. i mean listen to this story and the facts:
she told somebody, to call you.. to tell you that she loved you... and that you sould call her... then demands that you apologize for everything you've done to her. WHAT?

this girl is trouble.
run away.. FAST!

Thanks all. She broke up with me because she said I don't trust her that I'm too insecure, that instead of me telling her bout her wrong I go about telling her friends. I didn't apologize to her when she asked if I want to, I just told her I don't wanna go back to that now that we should just focus on her birthday. I'm 36 and she is 26.we quarrel like often almost every week due to the fact that she won't take my calls sometimes and because of this guy she said was just a friend and I told her I don't like the way she use to frequent his house and all that. It was very hard for me to live without her at first but now I think I'm stronger and better. The reason I'm seeking advice and the reason I've not really said anything to her about our past was because after the call I realized I was going back to needing her like before, so I had to withdraw and make sure I don't act or do anything out of emotions. I'm very confused about the whole situation because she's sounding like she wants me back and somehow sounding like she don't. It's obvious I hold this woman at high esteem but I'm calm about it and I just want the best for myself. Thank you

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Originally Posted by topazlight [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hello and good day back to you as well, daffetz.

So she and the guy got you to call her basically to ambush you into giving her an apology on her bday? I wouldn't have apologized, but, you did - so cannot take it back. Wasn't nice to put you on the spot though.

Did she do anything wrong to you in the relationship? So the pictures in some sort of mind game too it seems. Can't she just be straightforward with you about what she wants from you? Just ask her. Tell you don't like games and what would she like from you, to try again, be friends only.

Why did you break up?

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Originally Posted by smackie09 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

We can't give you advice on just what you had posted. We need some background, like your ages, how often you fight, the reason why you broke up, who broke up with who, what are your expectations?

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Thanks all. She broke up with me because she said I don't trust her that I'm too insecure, that instead of me telling her bout her wrong I go about telling her friends. I didn't apologize to her when she asked if I want to, I just told her I don't wanna go back to that now that we should just focus on her birthday. I'm 36 and she is 26.we quarrel like often almost every week due to the fact that she won't take my calls sometimes and because of this guy she said was just a friend and I told her I don't like the way she use to frequent his house and all that. It was very hard for me to live without her at first but now I think I'm stronger and better. The reason I'm seeking advice and the reason I've not really said anything to her about our past was because after the call I realized I was going back to needing her like before, so I had to withdraw and make sure I don't act or do anything out of emotions. I'm very confused about the whole situation because she's sounding like she wants me back and somehow sounding like she don't. It's obvious I hold this woman at high esteem but I'm calm about it and I just want the best for myself. Thank you

- - - Updated - - -

Thanks all. She broke up with me because she said I don't trust her that I'm too insecure, that instead of me telling her bout her wrong I go about telling her friends. I didn't apologize to her when she asked if I want to, I just told her I don't wanna go back to that now that we should just focus on her birthday. I'm 36 and she is 26.we quarrel like often almost every week due to the fact that she won't take my calls sometimes and because of this guy she said was just a friend and I told her I don't like the way she use to frequent his house and all that. It was very hard for me to live without her at first but now I think I'm stronger and better. The reason I'm seeking advice and the reason I've not really said anything to her about our past was because after the call I realized I was going back to needing her like before, so I had to withdraw and make sure I don't act or do anything out of emotions. I'm very confused about the whole situation because she's sounding like she wants me back and somehow sounding like she don't. It's obvious I hold this woman at high esteem but I'm calm about it and I just want the best for myself. Thank you

You were fighting which means you don't communicate properly, she doesn't want to give up her friend, and it makes you jealous,/not trust her...a bad combination. Just finally admit this isn't working out, and you should cut off all contact in order to move on.

Unfortunately, I have to admit that I agree with the others. To me, it just sounds like there are too many red flags here. I mean, even starting with your first post there is so much there....

So she apparently has somebody else tell you that she loves you and you should call her..... then uses that as an excuse to ambush you and basically low-key demand an apology? Um...yeah.... that's not how apologies work. Now, I don't know if you DID do anything that should require an apology or not... but when somebody is ASKING for an apology it sort of defeats the purpose. I don't know whether you SHOULD be apologizing to her or not.... but with that kind of behavior, she doesn't necessarily deserve it anyway.

Then you go on to explain that you two fight often... that's really not a good sign either. You go on to mention a guy friend of hers and you not liking her being around him. ...Honestly, that opens up a lot more questions. Like does she do anything you feel is inappropriate with this guy? Because men and women are allowed to be friends, so if you just oppose to her being his friend in the first place, that isn't necessarily fair. On the other hand, if their friendship seems to cross boundaries that are inappropriate of a friendship, then that isn't really fair to you. I don't know if that is the case or isn't.

Honestly, though, there is just way too much going on here that leads me to believe you are both better off just moving on. I mean, again, you have to do what feels right for you. So, if you truly do feel you want to give it another chance, I guess just talk to her. Have an actual, sit down, serious conversation. Apologize to her for anything you feel you maybe did wrong. Tell her (in as non-judgment and confrontational a way as possible) about things you maybe feel she could have done better and how that made you feel. The idea there isn't to point fingers at her or try to make her feel bad. It's just to make her understand that relationships are a two way street and that, though you maybe weren't perfect, there were things that made you upset as well.

Best of luck to you either way.