The return of the bipolar, suicidal "friend" with an obsessive "crush" on me
I used to be friends with a guy named Jake. We are both 23. He is bipolar and has attempted suicide several times. Once, in spring 2011, it was so serious that he stayed in a coma for 3 days and doctors said it was a miracle he came out of it alive. During the rest of spring and summer, I tried to be closer to him: in my ignorance and naivety, I was under the delusion that I could actually somehow help him get better. For a while, all seemed to be well and better. We hung out, also with our group of friends, talked about everyday stuff.
In summer 2011 Jake moved back to his parents' house, in another town, and we kept in touch through frequent e-mails. I soon realized, by the contents and tone of his e-mails, that there was simply no way I could help him. He would constantly repeat that he was a total failure, saw no point in living, was 100% sure that he wasn't meant to be alive, etc. There was nothing I could tell him, that might make him even just consider the possibility of things being different. So I started telling him that he should have gotten therapy to help him through the toughest times. He told me that he had been getting psychiatric help (pills, but no talk) for years, but "it never did him any good". I kept telling him to get therapy, because I couldn't think of anything else, and was feeling more and more responsible.
One time during the summer I went on holiday for a week, during which I was off the internet. When I got back, I checked my e-mail and found out he had tried to hang himself. That's when I fully realized that I needed to distance myself from him. In those same days, he confessed his feelings for me... he had been "in love" (read: he had been nurturing an unhealthy obsession) with me for months.
At this point, I want to stress the fact that I have never led Jake on in any way. I was actually in a relationship ever since we became friends, he even knew my boyfriend at the time. In May 2011, I had broken up with the bf, and in June I had started dating my current boyfriend. Jake didn't know that I had broken up and was dating someone else: as far as he knew, I was still together with my ex.
When Jake confessed his "love" for me, I informed him about my dating situation, and I told him I was in love with the guy I was dating (we had been best friends for a long time). Jake went out of his mind. He went from supremely pissed off to violently depressed and back again, repeatedly (bipolar, as I said). I was even more freaked out, and started to reply less and less to his crazy e-mails.
September came, and Jake came back to town. We share the same group of friends, so we would sometimes hang out all together. I ignored him as much as possible, just said "hi" and "bye". He started pestering me with e-mails and texts, trying to guilt me into replying and to suck me back into that unhealthy "friendship". He was evidently obsessed by me. It finally got to the point in which I told him to "Please never contact me again", in those exact words. It was mid-October.
Jake obliged, and moved back to his parents' house.
Jake didn't contact me for about an year. He has now started to e-mail me again, and since I have always felt a lingering sense of guilt in his regards - after all, I know that it's not his fault if he's ill and acts as he does, he is clinically unstable -, I replied. I explained to him the reason why I thought it was best to keep our distances, I told him I don't think he's pathetic or anything, and that I want to stop talking about this for ever, but we can still talk about everyday stuff every once in a while, if he wants.
It's not working, of course. Every single e-mail he sends me is filled with provocation and bitterness and obsession. He begs me to "not take away what we had, otherwise he has nothing left".
What should I do? I think I should tell him that it's just not working, and we should go no contact again. It's sad, because I thought we could have finally moved past all that... but he clearly isn't.
