I don't know what to do

Hi People,

I really need some help.

So I'll try and keep this to the facts but feel you may need a little back story for context. My wife and I have been married for 3 years and have been together for 8. We have gone through a lot of bad stuff.

I have had serious issues with my mental health. My coping mechanisms were incredibly destructive. Drinking, drug addiction and self harm. It got really bad in my late 20s and through into my 30s. I thought I was coping - but I was just suppressing and self medicating.

I met my misses (now my wife) and she saved me from the worst of myself but my demons still wreaked havoc with my mind - worthlessness, failure. It was all very dark. Last year i tried to kill myself. I didn't intend to still be here.. I hadn't considered the consequences.

Through all of this my wife has been my rock I wouldn't be here without her support. Sadly her feelings and needs have dropped by the wayside. I have no sexual desire but she is a very sexual person. This is a combination of my meds and my inability to cope. We have had sex twice in 6 years. I dont even think about it - she feels rejected. I never meant to make her feel like this. I feel like such a failure. I've been too wrapped up trying to keep myself together.

This week she has told me that she needs to address this area of her life. She wants a relationship and not a friendship. She has suggested having an open relationship so she can furfill that side of her life. I'm heartbroken. Im so confused. I don't want to lose her but feel like this is it. What do I do? How should I feel? I feel hurt. But I understand completely where this is coming from. How do we work on this? I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with an open relationship but I really do understand why she has asked. Thing is I can't forget this conversation but i don't know what to do to address the situation.

I'm hoping someone can help.