What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked into his office?
I can clearly see you're nuts!
What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked into his office?
I can clearly see you're nuts!
Two cats are swimming across the river -- one's name is One Two Three and the other's name is Un Deux Trois.
Who makes it across?
One Two Three because Un Deux Trois cat sank.
R O F L
^^^ LOL took a second to process but LOL
Men are like Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.
lol? ;)
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ''Pint please, and one for the road.
A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says ''I'll serve you, but don't start anything.
and one last one for now -
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.''
That one was my favorite because it's cute and funny.Quote:
Originally Posted by Exeter19 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
This thread has some good jokes I might pinch a few and tell some friends :)
A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says "I hope the porn is disabled."
The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick ****."
LOL
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog.
:P
Saw this on some pic online and it made me laugh.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Centipede.
Centipede who?
Centipede on the Christmas tree.
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What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!
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Who doesn't eat on Christmas? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
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How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb? Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!
It was Christmas Eve in at the meat counter and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.
In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said, 'Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
'No, madam, 'he replied, 'they're all dead.'
[Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
A tomcat was heard running up and down the alley for hours. A neighbour called his owner and asked what was happening. The owner said, 'Well, I had him fixed today, and he's going around cancelling all his engagements.'
How many cats can you put into an empty box?
Only one. After that, the box isn't empty.
Some dirtier ones, kiddies.
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
Beat it. We’re closed.
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin’ off.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
LOL LOL @ " Beef strokin' off " LOL LOL :D