Can't stop loving her..

hey, im a 17 year old guy with a girl problem :/

exactly one year ago i was with a girl who i really really liked. me and her always hung with the same group of friends for a while, but eventually we got closer to each other and got in a relationship at one point.

everything was great and all..but at one point she wanted to break up after about 3 months. she never said why but im pretty sure its because I rushed her in a lot of things which I really regret now

we've been broken up for almost a year now, and after 5 months of not being together we started hanging out more often again since we share the same group of friends. we could talk to each other and even though to this day its still awkward at least we still chill a lot.

but the crazy thing is...even though for a year we've been broken up..im STILL cRAZY about her. Im not even exaggerating when i say this, but i've thought of her every single day since we broke up, every morning..night..she's the only thing thats on my mind.

I don't know if I have another chance with her, we have a good friendship going even though it can be awkward still. at first i thought this was just a really big crush i had, since im still young and all and love isnt something kids by age really know about. but shit if its not love then iono what love is..cuz this feeling i have for her is crazy. making her laugh makes my whole day better, and whenever she leaves to go home i feel like shit.

this girl is my everything, and i've literally spent this past year trying to become clsoer and to getting back with her. its my senior year in high school, and im willing to do anything to take her back..

so please guys, is there any advice u can give me on this? i know people say i should just move on and believe me i've tried. this break up led to me using a lot of different drugs to try and forgot. i've hit up parties, met other girls, and did alotta stupid shit to try and just forget her. but i cant..no matter what i do. doesn't matter what drug, what girl i meet, SHE is still always gonna be in my mind. its like she seriously controls my heart. it feels like i have a huge hole in my heart, but whenever im with her i feel so comfortable and so right..like everythings perfect and the way it should be. without her im usually just depressed and miserable..i've had many nights crying just because of her, and i really never cry about anything, but even this is too much for me.

sorry for the long read people, but i can't handle this shit much longer. i can't believe how love struck i am, and i need some help on this. thank you!