Rekindling with my ex

Hello. My ex and I were together off and on for 4.5 years. Alot happened during that time, and we both hurt each other significantly. We have a child together. We just recently started pouring our hearts out about all that happened, and when I suggested if we were going to get back together and told him how I felt about him, he has told me that so much happened in that time we were together, and we both need time to heal. He says he doesn't want to go through all of the hurt and pain we went through again, and he doesn't want me to either. He says we are making a big step just by being able to talk about things. He has not said no, but this other responses are troubling me. I know he feels very deeply for me, as I do for him. I understand the fears, because I too feel them, but I want to work through these things with him. I told him I am giving him the time and space he needs...I don't want to aggravate the situation or force anything. Can you give me advice from a man's perspective on what he is going through? Is this a nice way of saying "no" from him? I am confused and just don't want to ruin things more.