Is this a good way to handle the situation

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15-06-13, 10:33 AM
fearoflove

Is this a good way to handle the situation

So, I am dating this guy for a little over a month. We are not exclusive yet but I lost my virginity to him. I have no issue about losing it to someone this soon because I can separate lust from love and I reached the point in my life where I am completely ready to have sex (I am 23). I thought this guy is very nice and treats me well (he pays for dates, never pressured me to do anything, always polite and considerate). But lately, he got into a car accident and couldn't visit for 2 weeks now (he lives two hours away but he visits during the weekend because he has nothing to do where he lives). He just live in another city because that is where he found work. I missed him alot and would like to hear from him and stay in contact often because we haven't seen each other for so long. But he has been acting more distant than before. In the beginning, he would text often but now he initiates less text (sometimes even going for 1 whole day without texting me something) and slower to respond to my messages. I have a feeling he might be doing that to mess with me because I was acting distant before too (playing hard to get). Well, anyways, I felt like I was falling for him and now he has to play with my mind. I decided to start dating/seeing other people so I can slow down my feelings for him. He may or may not find this out later. Should I tell him I'm seeing other people? Should I not because it is not his business? Or, what I am doing is wrong and I should not date other people?
15-06-13, 10:38 AM
fearoflove

Also to add. A 29 year old man is interested in dating me. He still lives with his ex (on a one year lease) but they have broken up because she decided to return to her ex-husband (they have a child together. Not with this guy but with her ex-husband). He said he has move on from it and he isn't looking for a rebound relationship. Should I date him or not?
15-06-13, 01:10 PM
smackie9

Dating other people? Ya you better break the news to him and move on.
15-06-13, 01:12 PM
smackie9

Quote:

Originally Posted by fearoflove [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Also to add. A 29 year old man is interested in dating me. He still lives with his ex (on a one year lease) but they have broken up because she decided to return to her ex-husband (they have a child together. Not with this guy but with her ex-husband). He said he has move on from it and he isn't looking for a rebound relationship. Should I date him or not?

No, you don't need to be a part of someone elses baggage especially when it's still fresh. Run the f uck away from this one.
15-06-13, 03:46 PM
4 ratties

Why be somebody's rebound? And why be with someone boring and not that interested with you? Neither sound like great picks but what do I know after only a short paragraph about the situation.
16-06-13, 09:03 AM
fearoflove

Quote:

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

No, you don't need to be a part of someone elses baggage especially when it's still fresh. Run the f uck away from this one.

He said he has moved on (They broke up 6 months ago but they dated for 3 years). He doesn't have a child with his ex. His ex is back with her husband. She moved out and he has a new place. Do you think he still has too much baggage to be bothered with?
16-06-13, 09:04 AM
fearoflove

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4 ratties [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why be somebody's rebound? And why be with someone boring and not that interested with you? Neither sound like great picks but what do I know after only a short paragraph about the situation.

Ya, I thought he might be needing a rebound but he said he isn't looking for a rebound relationship. Don't know if he is saying that to reel me in.
16-06-13, 09:17 AM
fearoflove

Quote:

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Dating other people? Ya you better break the news to him and move on.

I still like him but it just isn't the same anymore. We've been kind of disconnected lately and I feel there is a wavering of enthusiasm.
16-06-13, 09:27 AM
lalalita

You said he got in a car accident. Is he home on bed rest? Or out and about like usual? If he's home in bed, and probably in pain, he could be under the weather. Which would explain the distance.
16-06-13, 09:42 AM
fearoflove

Quote:

Originally Posted by lalalita [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You said he got in a car accident. Is he home on bed rest? Or out and about like usual? If he's home in bed, and probably in pain, he could be under the weather. Which would explain the distance.

No, he is fine. His car just isn't ready to be driven yet.
16-06-13, 03:30 PM
basilandthyme

you've been playing games and he's now possibly doing it to you? Ain't Karma a b*tch.
16-06-13, 03:40 PM
searock

Quote:

Originally Posted by fearoflove [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I have a feeling he might be doing that to mess with me because I was acting distant before too (playing hard to get).

Why would you play games with a guy you are truly interested in (or with anyone)? It's just a very silly and self-sabotaging thing to do, not to mention disrespectful.

Quote:

I decided to start dating/seeing other people so I can slow down my feelings for him. He may or may not find this out later. Should I tell him I'm seeing other people? Should I not because it is not his business? Or, what I am doing is wrong and I should not date other people?

As long as you two aren't exclusive, you can date other people without doing anything wrong. However, you need to tell him.
17-06-13, 12:55 AM
smackie9

Not every guy that dates you and has sex with you is going to fall in love with you. Just because you are falling for this guy doesn't mean he is going to be on the same level. It's possible he looked at this as a fun time and nothing serious....you even said it was casual, and not official, so I feel you have a miss conception of what it was between you two. It turned out it wasn't really what you were hoping for, so that being said, yes move on.
17-06-13, 01:11 AM
fearoflove

Quote:

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Not every guy that dates you and has sex with you is going to fall in love with you. Just because you are falling for this guy doesn't mean he is going to be on the same level. It's possible he looked at this as a fun time and nothing serious....you even said it was casual, and not official, so I feel you have a miss conception of what it was between you two. It turned out it wasn't really what you were hoping for, so that being said, yes move on.

Yes, it is possible he isn't on the same emotional level as me. But it is also possible he is but wants to play it cool. He did mention once that (on the 3rd or 4th date I think) that he was hoping we would end up serious later down the road. So, I don't know what is up with the recent emotional distance.
17-06-13, 01:12 AM
fearoflove

Quote:

Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

you've been playing games and he's now possibly doing it to you? Ain't Karma a b*tch.

I get treated worse when I don't play games. Personal experience.

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