Is something wrong with me? Considering chemical castration

Hello, this is my first post here and it will probably be quite long and wordy. Apologies in advance if you find it difficult to read.

My partner and I get along very well usually and laugh and have a lot of fun. Lately, however, there have been some problems resurfacing. She would kill me if she knew that I was discussing them here - earlier today I was warned against talking with my friends so that our problems were not "spread" around or making our problems public, although a little while afterwards, I found that she had posted a status update on Facebook expressing a few of her concerns about our relationship.
When I replied "perhaps it would be better to tell me rather than post an update on facebook..?" she deleted my words and told me that she was doing the same thing as me talking with my friend about my problems. Arguments ensued for a few hours after that one... :`(

As to the problems themselves, the main one is - I am embarrassed to say - about sexual needs and fulfillment. I believe that the others extend from these "simple" ones as, if sex is not an issue, we do not argue or bicker or have bad thoughts (well, I don't have bad thoughts).
Specifically, it is that I wish to satisfy my needs and she does not. Our drives appear to be de-syncing from how they used to be. She is not very affectionate lately, and I often have to ask for a hug or a kiss even, yet she tells me (when I ask) that she loves me and wants to stay together and that she will try to work on the things we discuss.

Lately, we have come to certain agreements which I try to uphold but (and I hate to say this because it will look bad) she does not hold up entirely. The last one was that I would be more patient with her when she did not feel like sex and that she would try to be more affectionate and even to "help" me when I feel excited occasionally.

When we first were together, we would have sex and enjoy each other frequently. From past relationships I know that this eases off a little over time, but the tail-off in this instance appeared quite severely.
After discussion I discovered that she occasionally has small lumps in her vagina that can cause penetrative sex to be painful (even though, on the occasions that we do have penetrative sex (3x since Easter), she says it is ok, only to then use the "i don't want to do it; it's painful but I still do it" after I have asked many, many times even to the point of losing erections because I am so worried about hurting her, when we argue on this topic).

Bearing this pain in mind, which does not seem an issue when she wants to orgasm through masturbation, I am not demanding or very much desiring of penetrative sex with her, even though I do wish to have children one day - I am sure she does too.
More, what I am talking about is... favours, I guess.

When I try to satisfy myself, it can take a long time. When she uses her hands or mouth or feet or whatever, it can take very little time and is much more intense and satisfying for me. I feel closer to her and it is as if the bond between us is strengthened in a way that only coupling can.

A few times she has reluctantly agreed to 'help me out' and afterwards has been so turned on that she then masturbates also, which upsets me because I wonder why then we could not do it together.
Lately, though, she will not even do this and it is making me feel so uncomfortable that I do not wish to even masturbate when she is around because the look on her face is so impassive and cold that I cannot finish - it also lends another argument that I "take so long and it wastes so much time", even though the arguments we have had about this lately have taken several hours of the day as opposed to the several minutes it would take for us both to make sex (at least from my perspective) a non-issue.

It is getting to the point where I have been considering either finding a mistress or leaving her. However, I love her very dearly and - if it wasn't for the sex issue - there would be no problems like there was before this became a big deal.

A good example, thinking of it: I had not tried anything for a while, and I became aroused when sitting together and she was allowing me to stroke her body and breasts so I let myself become aroused and start to masturbate a little. When I asked if she would assist, she said ok but looked so unhappy and pissed off with no interest or enthusiasm that I said it would be better if we didn't as I felt too uncomfortable now. This resulted in an argument that lasted a few hours.

The MAJOR problem is that not having my sexual needs satisfied leaves me feeling upset because I feel rejected and a little unloved (she has said she feels like a monster and wants to know why I am thinking of leaving), and it results in me being in a sour mood which puts her in a sour mood and then we argue which leads to the sex discussion which leads to more arguing Ad Nauseum.

We came to an agreement that I will not make any advances and must wait for her to make them instead and - if it is not enough for me - then there is always the option of breaking up. She says that my advances put pressure on her to perform sexual acts which makes her not want to do them. I counter with things like, "I don't always want to spend the day dragged around women's stores but I accompany you because I know it makes you happy and, in the end, we always have a good time" (as I have said, the times she does get involved and play - she often becomes very aroused).

I read many things and have used all my experience with women (I have had more sexual partners in my life than is probably gentlemanly to admit, which leads onto the point of all this talk...), but I am always met with refusals and reasons as to why to not continue my advances.

My sex drive, I believe, is higher than average. If I am by myself, I can easily masturbate a few times a day. Some weeks I do not masturbate at all (often when I am focused on some other task), but usually I need to relieve myself often or I cannot think of anything else and end up letching at women or having crude thoughts...
This can be bad because there are many young and attractive women who are often a little flirtatious with me where I spend my days.

I do not like to admit it, but lately I have been fantasizing about allowing myself to be with these women (my partner is *very* jealous and I had to delete several female friends from facebook, including one of her friends that I talked to often... it is a little awkward in real life now, with this woman because we are unable to discuss the reasons why we cannot be friends). The woman in question I have started fantasizing about also.

With other partners, I believe the average number of times we have penetrative sex to be between 2-4 a week with playing (kissing, hugging, massage, laughing, etc...) being every day several times at least, I think.

I am starting to think that my sex drive is abnormal and, as my partner says, the other women were performing duty or wanting me to like them or also had very high sex drives. I used to pride myself on sexual performance and enjoyed women (especially the older ones) telling me that I was the best sex they had ever had. Now I am thinking that there is a big problem! It is very worrying indeed!!!

I don't desire sex that often, I thought... maybe a few times a week or in the morning or at night... I spend so many days wondering if today will be the day we finally get to be intimate with each other, but it doesn't come and it is driving me a little crazy and can make me, shamefully, aggressive at times that I have no release.
I have even had my artwork (I am a graphic illustrator and designer) criticised by her for "telling everyone how bad our relationship is", because I use it as a way to express my feelings - it is never explicit or crude. Perhaps I will attach a few examples so you can tell me if I am indeed advertising our problems through my work. I must admit that a lot of my stuff involves her as a subject or is influenced by her and when she is involved in its production, we can be very happy together (the same as when I assist with her work).

I hope this does not identify me, as she would cut my genitals off with rusty scissors if she knew I was being so open and frank..!

I have read that around 3-5% of men masturbate every day and 1-2% of men masturbate more than one time a day. If you equate masturbation with sexual appetite and, in my instance, I could probably (and have in the past) masturbated dozens of times a day then perhaps I have a very wrong sex drive.
The maximum number of times I have had an orgasm in one day I think was about 24 (i recall it became a little painful at the end, like dry-heaving vomit, but it was almost like compulsion to orgasm again), but - like smoking - sexual pleasure has become something that you must learn to quit when required, I guess... Idk...

So anyway - to the point.
Because of the situation with my partner and my belief that I may have an abnormal sex drive, I have been considering some kind of chemical castration to save my relationship. I believe it will be worth it, but I am a bit scared of the side effects...
There is information on this subject on the internet, such as the drugs used, how easily reversable it is, etc... (it is not dissolving your testicles with acid, as I first believed :P) and it seems safe and - if it can lower my sex drive - a good option, no?

There are also herbal remedies such as Agnus Castus and some other things to lower testosterone that are to be considered first, of course.

What I would like to ask, after having explained all this situation is - does anyone have any experience with these issues and / or the proposed solutions?

Most of the advice I have been reading on the internet has been the same. Namely "dump her!", "tell her how you feel" (really? I hadn't thought of that ...), "dump her!", etc... and I do not wish to simply "dump her!" because I love her and I *do* believe that she cares for me. most of the time, at least.

It is just that things cannot continue this way because the arguments about me needing sexual satisfaction in order to feel emotionally involved and - indeed - to operate effectively (if I am rejected sexually, I can feel depressed, lose appetite and become a little short tempered, I know...).

I do not know what to do or think any more!!!

PLEASE, please, PLEASE will anyone help me?

Thank you,
Pete

oh i am unable to attach examples of the problem art, but it is things like i.imgur.com/47xWTi6.png