my ex narcissistic bf seems to be so in love with his new GF

Hey guys, I need your help!

Back in march my boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me in a very cruel way. After the initial honeymoon phase it turned into a nightmare, a constant emotional rollercoaster. He abused me emotionally, manipulated me, cheated, projected his bad behavior onto me, lied, made me feel like I was the problem though I really did everything I possibly could to make him happy. After the break up it slowly dawned on me, that something was just awfully wrong. I started to do some research and after a while I was thinking more and more that my ex bf had at least strong narcissistic, toxic traits.

Only two weeks after he cut me out of his life like I've never existed, he got into a new relationship. Ever since he did a 180 degree turn, he's doing everything for this new person, he never did for me. He's posting so much cute stuff on social media with her and she's also head over heels for him. They are the perfect couple and they are soo happy, he never was so happy with me

I'm so devasted. Everyone tells me it's not real and that narcissists never really love someone and it's all just a show. But they're almost together for 3 months and they are still so in love and happy. My abuse already started after a month.

I blocked them both on all social media platforms but I can't help but stalk them through other pages. I know it's wrong and pityful and illegal and what not, but I just can't help it.
It's so destroying to see that he praises her so much more than he ever did me.

Sounds like a story of "Good riddance", seriously, **** that guy. He can go piss upwind.

Concentrate on being the best version of yourself and find someone better, which based on what you shared, won't be difficult.

Well ussualy couples that look good on social media, are doing worst in relationship. I think its only a show and that people who really have good relationship dont post about it on FB.

Could be he is still manipulating you... intentionally.
Could be he is not

However the fact that you still care about that shows how dependent you are on him.

Here is my advice: sometimes people hurt us. Bad.
We then have two choices.
1) let this hurt dictate our lifes. To built up walls and to close of borders in the desperate hope of not being hurt again
2) to take that pitiful excuse of a human being to hurt you as a reason to live the best and most loving life we can. To show them that you and love and happiness are stronger. To love, perhaps less blindly, but more empathic and realistic. To built bridges and open possibilities


All I’m saying is: choose carefully

Good advice Hooo!
Love you man.

He gaslighted you, a useful skill of all narcissistic people. You are much better without this emotional vampire in your life and don't worry he will get tired of her soon enough and start pulling the same tricks he played on you on her.

Also, he WANTS YOU to see the shit he posted, why else wouldn't it be made private?

Better out there for you.

Right now you are your own worst enemy. Take a look at all the bad things he did to you & be happy he's out of your life. I know you want the great BF he seems to be for this other girl but that was not your dynamic with him. I can't tell you why. However, I do know that wonderful BF for you is out there. However, you will never find him until you stop obsessing about this jerk.

Whenever you find yourself wanting to look at his social media, do anything else. Call a friend. Post here. Go for a walk. Clean your house. Just prevent yourself from looking.

Try making a list of all the rotten things he did to you. Read it when you feel weak.

Chances are the new gf is just as nacissistic as him so for that reason they are so happy. Plus they are in the infatuation stage so they are HAPPY in all caps. But his true colors will show over time and he will be the same to her as he is to you. But like everything else, we learn. Especially when it comes to social media, we make mistakes. We just do.

Quote:

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I can't help but stalk them through other pages. I know it's wrong and pityful and illegal and what not, but I just can't help it.

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Out of all the choices you have in the world, the only one that's not got the potential to end up becoming a viral video where you get dragged for filth and mean memes attached to your likeness forever (because nothing is ever gone on the internet) is to figure out how to leave them both alone and get on with your life.

If he's as you say he is, then good riddance and who cares if he didn't love you the way he loves her? His way of loving comes with a pound of flesh as its payment. Let her pay that. You've dodged a bullet. From what you've written, you were not compatible with each other.

Honestly, yeah... 100% agreed with the others. Truth of the matter is he probably doesn't actually love her any more than he did you. He's probably using her just as much as he did you. Maybe with you he felt he could get away with the poor treatment and still get what he wanted. With her, maybe he has to put in more effort?

For that matter, as others have pointed out as a possibility, it very well could be he's doing it all largely for show. Largely to rub it in your face. It could be just as fake as he is. Bottom line, though.... the attitude you need to try to get yourself into is WHO CARES how he treats somebody else? He treated you poorly, so he did not deserve you anyway. I know that can be hard to see now, but trust me, you will in time. And in time you will find somebody who DOES treat you right. That will help you a great deal to realize just how wrong he was for you when somebody else is able to show you an example of how you SHOULD be treated.

Good luck to you.