Strange behavior

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19-01-15, 05:29 AM
Ibupro

Strange behavior

Hallo all,

a quick question!
I am finding it pretty well with a girl at work however all of a sudden (I guess I said/did something wrong) she starts to ignore me.
Most likely she also knows I have feelings for her (and at some point I also think or had the idea she had feelings for me, but not sure about her feelings for me)
You can feel the tension when we are together. I act pretty normal (altough I do stay a bit more "calm", will talk less to her), but not sure what the best option is.
Should I keep calm or just ignore her more?
Sometimes she still does laugh when I make a remark, but I can feel something is up.
I was thinking on confronting her and just asking why she is doing this, but not sure this is a good option?

What would be the best option? Let it be or ask her whats wrong.
Thanks in advance.
19-01-15, 08:28 AM
smackie9

Ya you are right she can tell you have feelings for her, that's why she has backed off. You don't want anymore awkwardness/tension? Then definitely do not confront her about it, god no. Ya it's over dude, this is something you don't recover from. Back off and only talk to her if you have to.

Tip: just because a girl gets all friendly and giggly around you doesn't mean she has feelings for you. Girls just do it to get attention and want nothing else from you. And if you are the type that girls don't normally chase, then ya you are totally being friends zoned.
19-01-15, 10:04 AM
Ibupro

Quote:

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Ya you are right she can tell you have feelings for her, that's why she has backed off. You don't want anymore awkwardness/tension? Then definitely do not confront her about it, god no. Ya it's over dude, this is something you don't recover from. Back off and only talk to her if you have to.

Tip: just because a girl gets all friendly and giggly around you doesn't mean she has feelings for you. Girls just do it to get attention and want nothing else from you. And if you are the type that girls don't normally chase, then ya you are totally being friends zoned.

Is it not weird she does this all of a sudden while she could have done it weeks before? It seems weird that al of a sudden she does this.
So I better not ask her whats wrong then? Good, perhaps thats indeed the best option!

I understand your tip, but at some points it seemed pretty obvious she was also into me... well at least thats what I was thinking since she , herself, took the initiative to spend time with me.

I am not the type that gets chased! Thats true haha, I guess only model looking guys get chased :p
19-01-15, 10:18 AM
smackie9

So I guessed I nailed it, you have little to no experience, so that would mean I know what I'm talking about.

Yes they can back off all of a sudden, probably someone said something to her that you were crushing on her and it turned her off of you.

Your feelings for her is clouding your vision....she wasn't romantically interested in you, she was just suckin up all the attention you were giving her and girls will do that, misleading poor inexperienced shleps like yourself.

Please read the ladder theory, might give you some insight...[url=http://www.laddertheory.com/]The Ladder Theory[/url]
19-01-15, 10:31 AM
Ibupro

Quote:

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So I guessed I nailed it, you have little to no experience, so that would mean I know what I'm talking about.

Yes they can back off all of a sudden, probably someone said something to her that you were crushing on her and it turned her off of you.

Your feelings for her is clouding your vision....she wasn't romantically interested in you, she was just suckin up all the attention you were giving her and girls will do that, misleading poor inexperienced shleps like yourself.

Please read the ladder theory, might give you some insigh]

I still find it weird that it is all of a sudden.
And no, I doubt anyone told her, she must have known herself! A long time already.
I even once asked her out, but she could not go back then! She had an other plan. Even after saying no back then, she kept acting normal and kept going to lunch with me (just the two of us).
So I wonder why she did not do this back then and just now.

Oh well, I guess you are right and I better just back off to and do not talk too much to her anymore.
19-01-15, 10:34 AM
smackie9

Well maybe she's got herself a BF or someone she's has her eye on....did a new fella start working with you guys recently? A model type? lol
19-01-15, 10:41 AM
Ibupro

Quote:

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well maybe she's got herself a BF or someone she's has her eye on....did a new fella start working with you guys recently? A model type? lol

No.
She has no BF.
There is one guy she sometimes mentions (and she wanted him, but she could not get him).
But on the other hand she sometimes mentions to me specifically that she is single.
On one occasion she even started to talk about relationships at work and that there were not so many couples in our company.
So thats why I had mixed feelings.
19-01-15, 12:00 PM
smackie9

Did you ever arrange for another time to take her out when she said she had other plans??
19-01-15, 09:11 PM
Ibupro

Quote:

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Did you ever arrange for another time to take her out when she said she had other plans??

Yes!
But on the other time, she also had another thing planned !
Later I found out she always has something to do on the 2 days I asked (an obligatory she could not change). So it was a bit stupid of me to ask her on those days.
The last time I asked, I just said that she could let me know when she has time, hoping she would ask me, but this did not really work out. She never asked me.
25-01-15, 01:56 PM
smackie9

When they have "plans" and don't suggest a time when they are free, she didn't have any interest to begin with. You saw signals that weren't there. She now has pulled away and that's your cue to walk away. She's gone flaky on you, don't waste anymore of your time worrying about it.
26-01-15, 05:21 AM
Ibupro

Quote:

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

When they have "plans" and don't suggest a time when they are free, she didn't have any interest to begin with. You saw signals that weren't there. She now has pulled away and that's your cue to walk away. She's gone flaky on you, don't waste anymore of your time worrying about it.

Yeah, you are right.
I also found out she is "going after" another guy... So yeah, I am screwed! Haha
Time to get over it, will not be easy.
27-01-15, 04:07 PM
smackie9

Looks like I called it on post [URL=https://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=6]#6[/URL] .
28-01-15, 12:47 AM
Ibupro

Quote:

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Looks like I called it on post .

BTW: its a model type guy ;) haha
Its a guy she once mentioned, but she always said, very clearly, it was just a friend nothing more... it seems that her ideas about him changed!
What I find weird it that it seems to go on for months now and she seems to be upset by it.. I heard that she was complaining about the fact he did not know what he wanted and so on..
I guess she is at the moment emotionally not that stable (I also noticed this and always assumed it was because of me.. but it does seem to be more complicated than that!)