Anouk

In the netherlands you attend the same school from 4 to 12 years old. So I was in the same class as Anouk for 8 years. I didn't actually fall in love untill I was 7 or something but that's still 5 years of being in love.

She has a bit brownish hair and the most beautifull dark eyes and a smile that would convert ANY gay man. I loved her so much. But I have autism so I didn't really dare talk to her that much. So when everyone was having dance parties in the final grade I asked her to dance with me once and she accepted. We danced and I felt great but after the final grade she dissapeared. I've searched for her for 3 years but she's nowhere. I've been having dreams about her eversince.

I like to think I'm over her and now I'm at least as much in love with Elke as I was with Anouk but everytime I wake up after dreaming of Anouk I feel in love. She grew in my head and though I haven't seen her in 3 years my mind made up a perfect Anouk for me. I've been assuming she just looks like Anouk but three years older. This one time I dreamt we were sitting in class and everything was grey and dark. But she looked just as beautifull as usual. We sat down on the ground in a corner and cuddled. Then I woke up and the next week I was convinced I needed to find her.

So you see I'm still stuck with her in the back of my head... anyone suggestions?