Physical Attraction

Hi everyone,

This is a complicated story. It is mostly about physical attraction against ''true love''.

I was dating this girl the year before. She's was the cousin of my best girl friend and it was already complicated at first because, she lived in another country. It went well for a while, I even went to visit her for a mouth where she lives. Then i came back and some things went wrong and we broke up. I got a hard time being over this relationship and the person who helped me the most was my best friend, her cousin.

Then, what could have happen happened, we begun to date. It was great because we were so close and shared everything. But she was really insecure with all this. Not because she wasn't in love, but because she was afraid I could still be in love with her cousin. She tells me constantly that she thinks her cousin is prettier than her. She also does it with every girl around, even if I've never unfaithful to her, never tried anything against the relationship.

I know a lot of girls in relationship are afraid of being dumped, and pull that insecure talk to their boyfriend. But the constant reminder(or idea pusher?) can be very confusing sometimes. It feels like I might loose what I feel really about my girlfriend and my ex.

I have to admit that physically, my ex was more what attracts me in a woman. My actual girlfriend is pretty too, but it's true she's not really physically my type. Though I will probably never love a woman, even anybody the way I love her. I would have never choose someone else over her just because she not ''my type''. But this constant conversation with her about her insecurities is getting important. She tells me she's been afraid that I wouldn't be attracted to her at all or that were not having sex enough because of that.

Seeing my confusion?

If anyone has something that might help me clear this out, post back.

Many thanks

Your gf needs help.

This kind of this usually goes away with maturity, but sounds like she is quite young. Tell her if she keeps talking about this crap to you it will jeopardize your relationship. If she doesn't get over this you may consider just going back to just being friends....that it's not working out.

its natural to be insecure especially about someone who you think is better than you and anyways girls have a constant habit of comparing themselves to other girls. my advice - talk to her and tell her exactly what youve written up there, that you would never love someone the way you love her. if you speak to your ex, you should stop for a while. basically both of you should stop discussing your ex for a while and you should let her know through actions and words that she means the world to you.
let us know how it goes!

His ex is his current gf's cousin? Wow.

You need to be honest with yourself OP. If you can see past the fact that she isn't you type physically then you will be fine. However if you are trying to convince yourself that you can look past that, when in reality you cannot, she may notice that. If you really cannot get over the way she looks then you owe it to yourself and your gf to discuss it honestly and end the relationship if needed.

Doesn’t dating a cousin of an ex fall somewhere along the lines of dating a friends ex?

I don’t know.

Other things removed, your chick cant get over the fact that she thinks your ex is better than her.
She also feels as if she is your back up choice because you and her cousin didn’t work out.

How would you feel if you were #2?

She has a few issues to work out and so do you.

Best to leave this relationship alone...I'd not even try a friendship at this point.