Originally Posted by
TablesandChairs
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Unless she's autistic or entirely clueless, then I don't know how on earth she thinks it's okay not to make an effort on your partners birthday. If I remember correctly, she didn't even text until you reminded her of something to that effect.
If this person can function in life and can maintain friendships and other relationships, then you are right to assume that she is *choosing* to put no effort into the relationship. However, if she has no friends and is generally a social outcast...then maybe you can assume this is just the way she is and that she has a deficit or some sort.
It's okay to get frustrated when someone treats you like you're an after-thought, but now is the time to just stay calm and evaluate things. Talk it through face-to-face is possible, over the phone if now...and simply ask her why she makes so little effort. If she says she doesn't know what you're talking about, give her specific examples. Then give her examples of the things you do that never get reciprocated. You don't want to come out of the conversation without clarity so be calm and specific. Listen carefully but don't blindly believe any old excuse...she's not a child and we're assuming she's not mentally deficient either, so you're expecting an adult response.
After that, you should be in a better position to judge whether you want to stay or go.