Need help with my relationship. I cant lose this!

This may be slightly long everyone, so im sorry. I’m in real need of help with my relationship. About a week ago, my girlfriend said she wanted to split up saying she wanted to figure out what she wants to do. She said she wanted to figure out what she wants to do with her life and if she really wants her and I. What I mean by her and I is be with me for the rest of our lives. She said she knows she wants to spend the rest of her life with me, but wants to figure things out. When we talk about her figure things out, she also says she wants to have her fun and not be tied down. At the same time she calls me telling me she loves me, and then calls and is like baby I really want to be together, I so miss you, I just want you here with me. So one day she goes I really want to be together and Im like then lets get together again and work on this. So she replies I do but let me just think. To me this is so confusing. Right now shes kinda talking to this guy but she tells me he just a friend. She only gave him a pop kiss, but to me that is hell. It kills me inside thinking of it. So as we are talking about this guy, well when she is around him she calls me after. She’s like I really missed you tonight. Im like well about your new guy don’t you just love being around him. She says well its not you, everything feels so wrong and its just not right. Im like well you wanted this so it must be right with you. She just says it isn’t, so im like why?, she says, its just not you. Right now im trying to get this back together because I truly LOVE her will all my heart. I really don’t want to lose her, because we have something so amazing. She even knows this, I just don’t know how to get her back and to not think this. What should I do to get her back or how can I talk to her to make her notice this?? Thank you

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Originally Posted by InNeedofHelp

This may be slightly long everyone, so im sorry. I’m in real need of help with my relationship. About a week ago, my girlfriend said she wanted to split up saying she wanted to figure out what she wants to do. She said she wanted to figure out what she wants to do with her life and if she really wants her and I. What I mean by her and I is be with me for the rest of our lives. She said she knows she wants to spend the rest of her life with me, but wants to figure things out. When we talk about her figure things out, she also says she wants to have her fun and not be tied down. At the same time she calls me telling me she loves me, and then calls and is like baby I really want to be together, I so miss you, I just want you here with me. So one day she goes I really want to be together and Im like then lets get together again and work on this. So she replies I do but let me just think. To me this is so confusing. Right now shes kinda talking to this guy but she tells me he just a friend. She only gave him a pop kiss, but to me that is hell. It kills me inside thinking of it. So as we are talking about this guy, well when she is around him she calls me after. She’s like I really missed you tonight. Im like well about your new guy don’t you just love being around him. She says well its not you, everything feels so wrong and its just not right. Im like well you wanted this so it must be right with you. She just says it isn’t, so im like why?, she says, its just not you. Right now im trying to get this back together because I truly LOVE her will all my heart. I really don’t want to lose her, because we have something so amazing. She even knows this, I just don’t know how to get her back and to not think this. What should I do to get her back or how can I talk to her to make her notice this?? Thank you

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please help!!!!

well its not up to you wether you lose it or not, it sounds like shes most definitaly not ready to settle down, you cant really do anything, but give her space, if she wants you she will come back- the worst thing you could do right now is come off as needy, just tell her you both need space so she can figure out what she wants. thats what i would see as the best possible thing you can do, i know it sucks, you will want to talk to her everyday, but right now thats not going to do anything but confuse, and hurt you. think about it this way though, its just not in your control, so the best thing you can do is just let it be for now.

Clifton is right - it takes TWO people to be in arelationship, you cannot have enough love for both, and you cannot make it work by yourself. If she's determined to go - you have to let her. That's the bad news. The Good news is that through dating other people she might realize how wonderful she had it and come back and you MIGHT be around.

Julie

yeah but if i were you, i wouldnt get your hopes up, just take the break as the end, because if it does end up being the end, it will save you alot of pain.

Hiya,

I know exactly how you feel mate, i`m having a very similar problem. You just need to maybe hang bac for a while... make sure she know's your there to help her but tell her that you need to know whats happening in her life and you need a proper chat.

I'm not saying all will be ok between you, if it is then just keep talking ang loving as before you should be ok. If it's not all ok, then maybe you too need to reasses where you are in your life and what you want to do, as someone said above, maybe your paths will cross again.
My girlfriend is my first love and as far as i`m concerned the one... my soulmate in every way... people have personal blips and things that scare them... the future is a popular scare story. I know it hurts but stay calm... talk to your mates (or leave notes here and give others some help) and even write to her (email doesn't work half as well) just to get your side across, leave it open for her to respond in a similar way and see how it goes.

Hope you end up happy however mate.

Carl

weel i am going through the same but mine is a little different we still have not been seeing someone else its been 4 years and we really love each other but we are not happy to a certain point we love being together. what you really need to do is if you really love each other give a second chance i belive in chances they can change your life and who knows maybe this time it might work out for the best. now i need help i love my boyfriend like i never loved before but we really need to find ourself but we love each other and i feel if we start seeing other people we might forget about us and i dont want to what can i do? :(

well i am going through the same but mine is a little different we still have not been seeing someone else its been 4 years and we really love each other but we are not happy to a certain point we love being together. what you really need to do is if you really love each other give a second chance i belive in chances they can change your life and who knows maybe this time it might work out for the best. now i need help i love my boyfriend like i never loved before but we really need to find ourself but we love each other and i feel if we start seeing other people we might forget about us and i dont want to what can i do? :(