Eye Contact with strangers

Hey, im currently in my last year of college and 18yrs old, so pretty young to be worrying excessively about this kinda stuff, but hey you gotta learn some time and im here to learn =)

Basically i have a little problem with eye contact, when i like a girl i find it really hard to make eye contact, if i'm looking at them and they catch me looking then i instantly look away as if im trying to hide that im looking at them, as if im scared they will catch me and think im wierd or something like that.

Now i know that eye contact it very important and im ok making eye contact with people i know but not for long as it kinda creeps me out after a while, but then again i haven't had a girl in my life for just over a year now.

I really want to sort out this petty problem as it's stopping me from being about to combat my shyness, and i really don't want to end up being a shy guy when i go to uni.

Anyone got any suggestions that could help me with this problem???

Just look directly into her eyes when you ask her a question or if shes upet and coming to you for advice.
Other than that, when your just talking normally, focus of her entire face, not just looking into her eyes.

Your 18 and in your last year of college?

I used to have this problem with eye contact too, while growing up. What helped me was to focus on the space between their eyes rather than looking directly into their eyes, for as long as I could. Slowly I became more comfortable with actually looking into their eyes.

Sometimes I still find it difficult to give eye contact for too long so I find an excuse to point out something we can both look at, to make it less awkward.

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Originally Posted by Cbrider [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Your 18 and in your last year of college?

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Maybe his birthday is at the end of the year, therefore seeming to be a younger than others but still born in the same year? I was 16 when I graduated high school, turned 17 the week after.

I live in england, College is the same as high school in america as far as i know, im quite old for my year, born in december so yeah, im normal age for where i am =P

Thanx for the tips so far but if i don't know a girl at all and just want to make simple conversation to make a good first impression or whatever, how would i go about not looking like i have psycho or pervy eyes???

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Originally Posted by Neo(n) [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I live in england, College is the same as high school in america

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Okay, that clears things up a bit.

Eye contact is the most awesome way to flirt! If a girl catches you looking, I suggest you just smile, and THEN casually look away. (Force yourself.) You don't have to talk to her, just smile... you will eventually be ready to move on to the next step.

Do you go to college .... not in the US ?

I think vashti gave excellent advice. After smiling and looking away, I would look again to see if she is doing the same. If she smiles back, that's a great sign. If she rolls her eyes or starts laughing w/her friends, it's probably best to move on.

Im liking the advice guys. I'm going out with some mates tmoro, so if i get the chance ill give this ago and ill try fit this into my everyday life untill im comfortable doing this =)

cheers

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Originally Posted by Neo(n) [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hey, im currently in my last year of college and 18yrs old, so pretty young to be worrying excessively about this kinda stuff, but hey you gotta learn some time and im here to learn =)

Basically i have a little problem with eye contact, when i like a girl i find it really hard to make eye contact, if i'm looking at them and they catch me looking then i instantly look away as if im trying to hide that im looking at them, as if im scared they will catch me and think im wierd or something like that.

Now i know that eye contact it very important and im ok making eye contact with people i know but not for long as it kinda creeps me out after a while, but then again i haven't had a girl in my life for just over a year now.

I really want to sort out this petty problem as it's stopping me from being about to combat my shyness, and i really don't want to end up being a shy guy when i go to uni.

Anyone got any suggestions that could help me with this problem???

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If they're female, look them directly in the eyes but unfocused. It's a good way to remain detached, yet appear interested in them while you're using frog vision to check them out. I don't advise unfocusing to check them out until you've got enough practice. Sometimes they'll temporarily change their gaze and leave you an opening to sleaze. You may think you have a second or two to really perve, but it's generally a fraction of a second and they can and will catch you if you're not in tune with their body language.

He's talking about girls, isn't he?

That's more of a macing situation. :)

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Originally Posted by DoesntMatter [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Where I'm from, making eye contact with strangers gets you shot

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Where are you from O_o

i'm pretty sure that doesn't happen around where i live, maybe a confrontation if you look at someone dodgy for too long...

i agree to vashti try and at regular intervals look at her

Stare at her forehead.

I completely understand! I usually avoid eye contact with a girl when I do not know here. I don't know why. Maybe I am kind of shy. But it will get better once you know the girl a bit more and become more comfortable with her.

Ok, so real quick, I'm from Canada, and my experience that I'm going to share is from Canada as well. Neo, eye-contact is one of god's most valuable assets that's he's given man. I'm telling you bud, with great eye-contact and a great opener, you will leave a girl breathless and wanting more. It's really easy actually. I understand you have a fear of looking directly at women but it's actually a fear of rejection. I have a few posts on my site how to get over that fear and how to talk to women. Have a look. A quick fix however, is simply to look at her forehead, just above her eyebrows. It's how I started.

Anyways, to tell you my experience really quickly, I made eye-contact with a girl across a classroom, on several occasions, over a span of 4-5 classes. This is when I was a newbie to meeting women and I really didn't know that I was stumbling onto something so HUGE! Anyways, so I did that frequently and every time remembering to smile just a brief moment about 3-5 seconds and then looking away. You have to note, if the girl continues to look at you on repeat occasions, that means she's interested. Anyways, so that happened quite a bit for the 4-5 classes, and then on the 6th class, there was some sort of group session or activity, I can't really remember, it was a while ago, but it was a group activity where we got to choose our group members. So, I took my balls and put them in a fruit basket, walked over to her and asked her to be part of my group. Sure enough, she said yes and it was on from there. I used a direct approach (which I talk about in more detail on my site) to approach her and then I established a high social value with her by showing her that I'm intellectual as well. Then it was smooth sailing from there. It was a great fling I had back in high school. Just thought I'd share that with you.

So moral is, Eye contact works wonders.

Hope that helped.

Cheers,
Aynka