Girlfriend made a date with another guy.
First I'd like to say that I did something that I am not proud of but because of my past insecurities, I basically started reading her email occasionally. If I have not found anything suspicious the first time I did it, I probably would not have peeked ever again. However, I found out that my girlfriend of 2 years still keeps in touch with her ex and on one occasion looks like she was making plans to see him (although I have no proof whether that ever happened). While talking about something unrelated about her ex I asked when was the last time she heard from him (or another previous ex of hers). She said it was more than 6 month that he contacted her which was a lie as at the very least they were in touch by email just a few weeks ago. Even though I’m very displeased that she would go or even attempt to meet with her ex behind my back I have not confronted her about it and since I stopped seeing any evidence of them being in touch after that and I just put this in the back of my mind.
Now, however, I have a bigger fish to fry. I found out that she went to a networking event (part of her job) where she met someone who she enjoyed talking to and he asked to see her again. In the first email (to her mother btw), she mentioned that she wasn’t sure if this meeting was networking or social, but she went anyway. I became clear pretty fast that it was social and the guy started making a move on her and tried to kiss her. She turned away (as she said to her mother in the email) and subsequent email said that she now felt guilty and she should just break it off with that guy. Another thing I really didn’t like is that she said: “it’s hard to get to know someone casually if they’re trying to kiss you”, which says to me that she’s trying to explore her options and see if there’s something better out there.
For about 2 months since then I haven’t seen any communication from her about this. However, suddenly I see her sending him an email that she would like to catch up on stuff and she asked if “they could make some time for a phone date”. When I checked her phone log a few days later, it confirmed that they spoke that same evening for an hour. A couple of days later I see an email from him asking her if they’re still on for a dinner which she said she’d rather do next week because she hasn’t been feeling well.
So, my conclusions are: 1) she’s obviously not happy about something in the relationship and feels unsatisfied, or she lost interest. 2) She’s looking around for a replacement and just stringing me along until she finds it. 3) She’s disrespectful and she’s playing both me and the other guy. 4) She’s not willing to come to me and work on relationship concerns and rather chooses to explore other opportunities.
All of this also after she made it obvious to me a few months before that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me and have a family.
Now, I understand that I violated her trust by checking her email and phone and that it was a wrong thing to do, not to mention unhealthy for a relationship and I’m not very proud of this, however, in the end I’m glad I found out sooner rather than later.
I’m basically ready to break up with her over this and just wanted to get some comments from you guys if you think my assessment of the situation is correct and whether or not there’s nothing else left to do but end it. Otherwise, I think if I wait I’ll get hurt a lot more than I already am when she actually finds somebody new.
Please let me know what you think. Sorry for the long post.
