The thing is, (most) women need to feel loved in order to have sex, and (most) men need to have sex in order to feel loved. You are now at a point where it is a vicious circle. You resent because she won't put out --> she won't put out because she doesn't feel loved --> you don't feel loved because she won't put out causing increased resentment --> she doesn't feel loved so she won't put out --> you get more resentful, etc...
You guys need to break that cycle.
As for women who fake high sex drives in order to get men... well, perhaps they feel more sexual in the beginning (when they feel loved), and their drives diminish over time when their men start to lag with the affection? As for women who never had a sex drive... hmm. I'd say it's a hormonal issue, possibly caused by birth control pills (common problem).