Me + Girls = Ma Error?

Hey guys,

I'm not looking for any specific advice but it would feel good to talk about myself. To spark it off, I'll just tell you about my uneventful love life (I'm 16 but hey). I hope you are interested.

At time of this post, I've not yet even had a girlfriend, although of course I am interested in them, why else would I be here :D

Yeah so, for the 16 years of my life I've been really very shy with girls, but until like 6 months ago I have been realising how silly it is to be shy when I'm only a teenager. For example, I was scared to look into a girl's eyes because I thought it might seem like I was coming on to them :surprised Anyhow I'm quite improved now but still not getting it right.

About 2 months ago I *sort of* made my first move (ever!). I let out I liked this girl and basically my friend got her phone number, and convinced me to send her a text message telling her how I felt. I also asked her out to the cinema, which went *ok* I guess, but I we didn't talk much, but at least it was an opening. I tried to keep in contact with her over the school holiday, but once we got back to school, I don't know why, but I ended up being so shy with her that I didn't have a single conversation with her, at all! It was only texts that kept us talking, and I also asked her to go bowling, we went in a group of about 8. Next time I ask, she gives the sign that she just wants to be friends, because she "doesn't really know me".

Until about 2 weeks ago, there was still hardly any talk - big mistake, I admit it. One day, she texts me, can't remember exactly what it was but the next day for sure I was talking to her, and the talking has been much better, although not perfect until today. She showed signs (as far as I knew) that she liked me, spending breaktimes with our group instead of with her friends, and so on. However, today, one of my reliable female friends asked her how she felt about me, and the response was something along the lines of "sorry, I don't like him in that way. he's not my type".

Ah well, so that brings me to the present. I wish I'd have been more aware not to get my heart set on anything. I had strong instincts I was getting somewhere, but maybe I made too many mistakes along the way? After all, it was my first attempt. So, what do you guys think?

P.S, in case anyone doesn't understand the title, "Ma error" is what scientific calculators show when a result is impossible.

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Originally Posted by Mike

Ah well, so that brings me to the present. I wish I'd have been more aware not to get my heart set on anything. I had strong instincts I was getting somewhere, but maybe I made too many mistakes along the way? After all, it was my first attempt. So, what do you guys think?

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Certainly better than no attempt at all, and better off than a lot of guys out there.

Anytime a girl gets flaky on you, giving you the "just friends" rub, it's best just to move on. Chances are she won't be interested in you more than friends, and in the little amount of cases where she does want more than friendship and leads you to believe she only wants to be friends, would mean she just wants you to try harder than any other girl that hasn't shown she only wants friendship.

With that said, you should give NO girl any more effort than you would a girl showing full interest in the "more than friends" thing. Treat them all as if they are the one trying to get with you! Even if, in reality you are trying to get with them. It's a subconsious way of saying "I'm good enough for you, now are you good enough for me?"

PS: Try not to get caught up in what mistakes you may have made, you're human and as a human you are bound to make mistakes. Just don't define Insanitiy by trying the same procedure over and over, when the results every time fails you ;)

Yeah. I guess I'm sort of disappointed, because maybe I really felt like this girl was something special to me, and I feel if I could have not made those mistakes to that girl, another instead, I'd still have a chance with her. I just hope she has based her verdict on the real me, not my nervous period.

Getting over someone you've consistently liked for 4+ years isn't gonna be easy for a first timer!

hi there,

its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved. sure it hurts like hell but then u dont have the uncertainity of never knowing. believe me that hurts more.

u asked her out, u liked her and u told her in the only way u could. u ditched 16 years of shyness and nervousness for her. u told her in the only way u could,. sure u ,may have been nervous or awkward, who isnt. if a girl thinks that it is easy to convey ur feelings in a rational manner to a person of the opposite sex, than she is very mistaken. same goes for men.

u liked her but she gave u that " just want to be friends". if u can,. respect that. and move on quick.

learn from the fact that she didnt respond. she went out with you to the movies and stuff. but she didnt respond is what i am guessing.


mate its a start. the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. :)

best of luck

Hussain

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Originally Posted by Mike

Yeah. I guess I'm sort of disappointed, because maybe I really felt like this girl was something special to me, and I feel if I could have not made those mistakes to that girl, another instead, I'd still have a chance with her. I just hope she has based her verdict on the real me, not my nervous period.

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Get use to it! :P

But for sure, like people are saying, feel proud you at least had the nerve to do SOMETHING about it... soooooooooo many people never make any moves on their crush, so you should be very proud and should let that boost your confidence. Now you know. She's not into you - no worries - there are PLENTY of girls out there, just be open to meeting new ones (being 16 you'll have plenty of time for this :) )

And if she didn't take the time to get to know the real you and let your shyness (something pretty common) be the determining factor, you're much better off without her.

Best of luck~

Mike, I hate to break it to you..

When a girl tells you she wants you on her "Just Friends" list, everything gets 1,000,000x harder.

Next time, play it cool--do NOT admit your feelings to girls just like that, cuz then you'll just end up being on that list again.

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Originally Posted by LTsK8eR2gO

Mike, I hate to break it to you..

When a girl tells you she wants you on her "Just Friends" list, everything gets 1,000,000x harder.

Next time, play it cool--do NOT admit your feelings to girls just like that, cuz then you'll just end up being on that list again.

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Uhm, but I certainly wouldn't have got as far as I did if I hadn't. You think I should only *suggest* that I like her by asking her to the cinema or something?

I practically never talked to this girl before I told her I liked her, and it would have stayed that way.

Ok, I have another question I'll throw in.

As I'm trying to get over this girl (by others' standards this is probably nothing), what exactly should I do?

There are definitely no other girls I would consider being more than friends with that I know. She's still meeting with our group at lunch and breaktimes, and for the last 3 days I've sort of politely avoided talking to her. Anyone know the best way to get over a girl?