Lost and not sure what to do.
Me and the boyfriend are having issues lately and I'm not sure what to do at all.
I'm 21 and he's 20 (soon to be 21). Met in our freshman year of college and have been dating about 2 years. We initially lived in the dorms but after our freshman year we both moved out. He moved into his parents place and I moved in with a roommate. Throughout this, I was mostly "living" at his place since I enjoyed being around him more but still paying rent elsewhere. His parents owned some property with two homes on it so we lived in one while they lived in the other. After roommate issues I eventually moved to another place, but still spent most of my time at his. Fast forwarding a bit, I had about a month left of my lease and we decided I should move in with him permanently and just pay his parents rent. Well, the same month that I started moving my stuff to his place slowly, both ours and his parents home burned down in a recent large forest fire. He stayed at my place till the lease ended at the month, then we stayed at the new place his parents were renting until we found a new place. (Hope all that made sense.)
We were going to live with two other people but then after looking at many different places and having them fall through, we decided to break off from them and just find a place on our own. I was a tiny bit worried about this, but we had been living together for quite some time so figured it would work out alright. He did voice to me that he should just live with his parents. I told him that I was perfectly fine with that and I'll just find a one bedroom place for myself to live in. He then decided alright, we'll get a place together. I then asked him on multiple occasions, "Are you sure? Are you totally in this?" type stuff and he said yes.
We searched a bit and found a decent place. It took about a week for them to get all the paperwork and things figured out but eventually I was given a date on which we could go sign the lease and move in. He told me he was really excited about it and I was too. The night before we had to go and sign the lease, we're laying in bed and he's telling me he doesn't want to sign it. That he should just break up with me now to save the hassle, that he wants to see other people, that I should see other people, he still loves me, and wants to still be my best friend. Afraid of the commitment basically. I pretty much lost it because I have been pretty much living out of a suitcase for a long time, was tired of living in the same house with his parents, looked at countless places to rent and paid many application fees just to turn around and not get the place, and dealing with other roommate related drama. I had already told the lady we were signing the lease and had made plans for my father to make a long drive to help us move in the morning. I reminded him I gave him the option not to do it. He said he didn't want to end up screwing me over, but I told him he already was by having me cancel everything on top of having to deal with a breakup. So he decided to sign it.
After we left the office, I'm still pretty flustered at this point, he hugs me and tells me he's excited about our new place again.
We have finally moved in and we're fairly settled but I'm still worried about it. He tossed around the idea of me possibly finding a new sub-leaser if he ends up leaving but I'm tired of dealing with roommates (which is why I wanted my own place initially) but I wouldn't be able to afford rent at this place by myself. He's always given me permission to see and do whatever with other people...and I have wondered what else is out there. He is my first boyfriend and the first one to do anything sexual with. Part of me just wants to tell him go out and have fun but the other part doesn't know how I'd be able to handle that. He's been with quite a few people before me, and has told me he doesn't think he'll find anyone that's as awesome as me but there's always that slight chance that he will. Kind of sounds like a have your cake and eat it too type situation.
He's told me too that he never meant to have our relationship get this far...which I kind of find hard to believe. We have pets that he's bought us to have together. That's a commitment. We know each others families very well. We've had our normal relationship bumps in the road before but I'm not sure how to fix this one. I found out he's been trying to contact his ex as well but I'm not sure what his intentions are there yet. It's like he's bipolar with commitment. :\ Would really appreciate some advice!
