Help! He's totally into me and I'm married. Hard part is, I'm in to him!
So.. I have a situation. I have been married for a few years and this has never happened to me. I'm 22 and I have three children. I have a 5 yr old, a 3 yr old and a 18 mo. old. I am basically like a single parent because I'm always on my own with the kids for the most part. My problem is, the school my son goes to, there is a teacher that I met his very first day and there is total chemistry between he and I. He knows, obviously that I have children and he still continues to flirt. He's the really shy type, yet you can just really tell there is something he is holding back from saying. He always goes out of his way to talk to me and finds excuses to be around me more...like the other day, my son misplaced his jacket. I was looking for it and he overheard me telling my son's teacher that it was this red coat, bla bla bla. I described it to the tee and this teacher I have a crush on said it may be in his class room. When I said "cool, I'll go look", he said "oh, I'll show you where my class room is". I completely know where his class is, he just wanted to be around me more away from the other teachers..I mean seriously, I'm leaving out some minor details, but it could not have been more obvious and things like that happen all the time. The first day he met my other two children, he said "they are beautiful, just like their mommy" and he is always complimenting me.
I see him every morning when I drop my son off and every afternoon when I go pick him up. For a few minutes in the morning, all the students and teachers stand in individual lines to say the pledge before heading back to the rooms. There is a good 5 to 10 minutes we stand there right next to eachother and you can tell he's just pulling questions from his ass, just to talk to me... and I like it. ;)
To back track a little, I just want to make clear that yes, I am married, so please do not judge me but you have to understand how my marriage is. My husband and I know for a FACT he has cheated on me and he is still super sneaky with his work all the time and "mandatory meetings"...a whole other story. I feel stuck though, because here we are with 3 kids and these kids are my life so I need to make sure they have a roof over their heads, so I am staying with him just for that purpose. :( I am starting nursing school before too long, and once I become a nurse, my situation will be a lot different and I will have more options after that.
Until then, I am going crazy!! This is where I need advice. This man is constantly on my mind. When I go drop off my son, I get butterflies every morning because I know I'm going to see him. Same thing in the afternoons... He calls me by my name all the time instead of my last name which melts my heart because usually with schools, the teachers will say "Mr." or "Mrs." and whatever your last name is. I went for a while without knowing what his name was and that was driving me too crazy, so I asked him one morning and he told me and then asked for mine and since then, he's never called me by my last name. That same day, he also asked if my last name was my maiden name or married name. I cringed and told him it was my married name. :sad2: I quickly told him my maiden name as well and he said "oh, that's a pretty last name". He didn't have too much to say about my married name though. :D If I could turn back freaking time, I would have told him that day in a professional, casual way that it may not be my married name for too much longer.. lol, just so he would have a better idea about my situation. I didn't though, dammit!
So basically it's the same thing every day. He's soo nice to my children. He's always patting them on the back and talking to them as they walk past them and tells me how beautiful they are and this and that. I HATE Fridays lately, because that means I have to go two days (the weekend) without seeing him. Here's the tricky part.. I try not to flirt too much with him in front of the other teachers because women can read each other and I don't want them to know quite yet that I have a crush on him...so a couple times, I have wanted to say something to him so bad, but I can't because the other teachers are usually standing around. I am 100% positive he feels the same way...like I said earlier, it couldn't be any more obvious. I know he has a step child that is grown (in college), so it's obvious he has no problem dating women who have children. He is not married, by the way.
What I'm wondering is, should I tell him that I have a crush on him? :love: I mean, I don't want him to judge me and think I'm horrible, but I don't know how to bring up the subject that my relationship with my husband sucks to him. We already talked about me being married, what would I possibly say? Oh by the way, I hate my husband? lol. I have been completely dying inside though because I told myself I was going to let it pass and not say anything, but I feel like I can't do that anymore and we still have another 4 months to go before the school year ends. There's no way I can let the school year end and never see him again without at least casually telling him I'm into him but I have a sucky situation. This man cannot be found on the damn internet either, because I thought that would be the easiest solution..to send him an e-mail or message. He obviously isn't a big computer user. I thought about writing him a note and letting him know, but how would I give it to him without anyone else noticing, and is it too early for that? I've only known him for a couple months. Please give me some advice. He's into me and I'm into him...tell him, or not tell him? And how?
By the way, I would never physically cheat on my husband, but at the same time, there isn't a law that says you can't tell someone how you feel about them..right?
Thanks!! :)
