First time I ever felt like this about a girl
Ok, so I was at a friend’s house one night and while I was at his computer, I saw one of his msn friend’s pic. That was the catalyst! Something came over me and right at that moment I wanted to get to know this girl and fall in love with her. Then I asked her for her number and we started talking a bit. Then she decided to meet me and comes to my place. The moment I saw her I thought she was the one. By the way, I am anti social and have a weakness for caring for people. AND I DON’T TALK UNLESS I AM IN A PLAYING MOOD. The biggest reason why I love this chick is because she looks like the most innocent thing in the world to me.
The following happens that day:
- I give her flowers when I see her
- kiss her hands and all her fingers like a hundred times
- kiss her face all over except for the lips… for an hour
- play with her for an hour or more
- I tell her that I wanna care for her and wanna be with her
- I cook for her
- I take her back to her bus which she misses so I get her a cab for 60 bucks which was my grocery money for the rest of the month… (I literally starved for the last week)
- write poetry for her
- I was playful as always and other romantic BS happened
Okay, after that day, I call her, write her about novels of emails, no callback and no email… she tells me that I don’t have what she needs in a man… she tells me that I “play” too much and gives me a notion that I am too immature for her… mind you, I am a double major in engineering and arts and have been living on my own since I was 15… although I do admit I am immature and always playful… that is because THAT IS THE ONLY ****IN TIME I CAN OPEN MY MOUTH AND TALK… I can’t get serious with her because I don’t want to talk to her about her having an ex and going clubbing every other weekend (which I find ethically wrong in her case)!
I ask her “did u not feel like I was the one when u first saw me?” and she tells me that “that only happened with her ex”, she doesn’t even care for the poetry I wrote for her…. She tells me to forget about her cuz it will never happen… and she flat out treats me like dirt… but me, I was still happy, really sad but happy at the same time because I said to myself that at least I knew of her and that’s a good thing. I thought that this thing can never bring me anything bad since I love her truly. I still want her and love her and never thought negative of her. Then after 2-3 weeks of not talking she gets online and I ask her if she would join me for a dinner after my semester ends and she agrees. Ok, this time she comes, the following happens
- I give her flowers
- Kiss her hand, and all over her neck and face
- Play with her hair
- Take her to dinner
- Then she kisses me and we made out for an hour with no tongue (I told her that I would only kiss her when she tells me that she is mine, and in between us making out I told her to tell me that she was mine and she says “I am urs”…I believed it at the moment and carried on.
Now this happened last Sunday, today is Sunday, we have only talked once on the phone ever since and if I call she doesn’t answer so I cant even call her no more… and when we do talk on the phone.. she NEVER says anything… and honestly, ever since I met her, she has never said ANYTHING… a convo with her consists of me asking her q’s…
Now I am a good guy, I got like half a dozen females after me(but none of them love me)… and I don’t treat anyone of them like shit and I tell everyone how I feel and who I want in my life… and its not like I only want this chick because of her beauty cuz honestly if her beauty got rated by the world, she would probably get a 7 out of 10, but I definitively think that she is the most beautifull woman in the world with the upmost grace and the best ethics and innocence… She makes it sooo clear that she doesn’t want me… and I know that she doesn’t want me and don’t care for me… what do I do?
ps – sorry for being long and using caps
