Personality Disorder

First of all sorry for yet another post but they help me get it all out.

I think my ex may suffer from this.I'll start with how we got together...I was always kind of attracted to her and 'loved' her as a friend and cared about her so much but I NEVER expected to be with her anf never really thought of her like that.

One night chatting on MSN as usual and she says "would you go out with me?" i'm shocked and say well you know i like you etc so yes i would and then she's like haha we never could....ok so we chat like normal then when i go to bed she texts 'i want to chat about something tomorrow.night night lovely ;) xxx'' so i'm guessing she's gonna ask me out next day i text asking what and shes like oh nothing now dont matter....:( anyway im kinda gutted and say i really like you etc and she says no.so anyway we go out a few days later in a group and it's normal and friendly but shes flirty anf looking at me in a different way...then my mates like she likes you i can tell...so again i ask her and she says no...ok then i get a text "nice day today if u want a drink soon just u 2 let me know" ok cool so we do and she comes back to mine and we kiss and she says she likes me etc a week later were togethwr but taking it slow...my head already kinda messed.

First month was great amazing.she told me she loved me but wanted to take it slow.ok cool

then she gets pregnant.(since found out she missed taking the pill on purpose)ok so now we have to decide we decide to keep yeah cool.

This is when things got ugly ...im like we can tel people about us now but no i seemed to be a secret a few people only were to know.caused arguments and then i see texts to others on her phone being flirty...she apologises but still would not change her FB relationship status...she left her laptop at mine and i come across chats saying i'm just a mate and that shes still in love with her ex etc etc...i knew this it was her first love.anyway i end the relationship as it seems thats what she wanted not to be with me...then she begs and begs me not to leave her puts all over FB how much she loves me and like a dick i get with her....i loved this girl so much...nearly every day we argued when she spoke to lads as the trust went.but it was all ok and then we had a month of being fine then BANG she dont waht to be with me again..so ok we end up back together ...i mean she had my child inside her and i loved her...she then says she's so glad she has me i mean the world to her and she loved me so much.

things were going OK but in that time i find out more...she lied to me about going to college...she had not been for 2 years and also going on holiday...she told so many lies to make her look cool.i forgave her for all this like an idiot....all was generally ok though she moved in and we were excited about the child she told me she could feel it kicking and we were looking for baby essentials....few days on she tells me she cant do it and at 21 weeks has an abortion just like that i was so sick even then i stuck by her and she thensaid she could not lose me as i was her best friend etc...we finally split up and she told me ahe regret the abortion and loved me..anyway i meet up and were friends then a "mutual" friend becomes single who shes always liked and she gets rid of me tells me she hates me and blocks me out her life...finally i get in contact and she says she lies and says her dad has died. He had not at all.i then see on facebook shes with this new lad.just like that

The only thing that matters is she's unhealthy for you and it's best if you stay away from her.

Returning to her... dwelling on why she is the way she is will only work to destroy who you are fundamentally.

There is nothing more left to learn other than to avoid someone like that in the future.

Hey--

I think the worst thing people can do to us is to be so flip-flopped in the way they treat us and what they want. That has always been the cause of my biggest heartbreaks. So, I totally feel your pain!

I mean, "If you like me and want to be together, great! If you don't or lost interest, that's fine too"...just don't act like I'm the love of your life one day and then the next be annoyed that I even said hi.

I don't understand why people do that...I wish I did! All I can tell you is the BEST thing you can do is, no matter what she says now or in the future, just know that it is over. Put an end to it!

She obviously does not know what she wants, but wants you to be there as a back-up. She treats you like crap...you pull away...she realizes the "wrap around her finger" has loosened a little...and tells you what you want to hear to get you back...you come back...she treats you like crap again. Are you seeing the pattern?

YOU have the power to stop it! Do it. It will really hurt and great temptation will be there when she crooks her finger at you again, but if you stay away...you will be rewarded with gaining your self respect back again and eventually finding someone worthy of you.

I hope this doesn't sound too cold, but you should be SERIOUSLY counting your blessings that a baby is not in the picture. This is not someone you want to be tied to for the rest of your life. I even can't help but wonder if she was ever even pregnant, quite frankly. She is a serious manipulater and what better way to manipulate a man then to claim a pregnancy?

Good luck! I know it doesn't seem like it now, but this sorrow will pass. I think faster than you would even expect.

Hey she was deffo pregnant as i went to the scans and appointments...that's what hurts most.

I just got treated like crap till the person she wanted before me became available...

Curves, your advice to whyme applies directly to me as well. Thanks for your sensible words. If you want, I'd like to hear your impression of what I'm going through, which can be found in a thread I just opened called "Think she'll be back? And should I even want that to happen?" Thanks! And good luck whyme, I hope that these experiences end up making us stronger, despite the pain we are feeling right now.