Boyfriend has not respond to an apology what to do
I have been seeing this man for the last 8mo. We started out as neighbors and friends then we have gradually became more. We have had an incredible relationship thus far. We have great chemistry, enjoy each other, mutual interest, he spends time not only with me but my children as well. We have the most connected, sensual,and amazing sex either one of us have ever had.
We have had a couple of issues though. Mainly his parents. As I said he was my neighbor and he has just recently moved back home with his parents to help the with their farm. His parents are in their 70's. He is 36. His parents essentially forbade him to continue a relationship with me because I am still married (I am separated but not yet divorced). He has since moved out from beside me and now live out on his farm and he continues to lie to his parents when he is with me. I realize that you have to get to a certain point in your relationship before you do the parental introduction so it has been a little awkward. But I will not lie it does bother me. Which brings me to my current situation: This is what happened.
Over the weekend I sent him a text asking that we may be able to go riding on the ATV out on his farm land as I have been working a lot and needed some outdoor activities. He never responded to the text. I did not hear back from him until the next night which I missed his call. So i talked with him Monday and he was telling me all about how a mutual friend of ours and his wife came up to his house and went four wheeling out int he fields and how our friends wife and kids were hanging out with his momma...ya ya. Well he said that this all transpired on after he left my house on Valentines day...a week ago. The conversation went well but after we hung up. I became upset for 2 reason...I honestly became jealous because these other friends of ours can hang out up there with his parents but I cant bc of his parents disapproval. Which then got me upset because I am feeling like I am being denied, when he lies to his parents about us. I feel like if i meant something then he would be a man and stand up to his parents and tell them that he is with me. But they are complete control freaks when it comes to him. But he is 36. so I am not used to this at least not since high school and I am now 32. Also I got upset b/c I realized that I had sent him text telling him I wanted to do the very thing that he did and did not invite me. Although according to him he said that it was a week prior to weekend I text-ed him.
Later that evening i was talking to our mutual friend and he was telling me about the the four wheeling adventure. He told me that it was just the past weekend not the week before that my bf had told me. I then became upset as I felt I had been lied to over something that was BS. I had some serious trust issues in my marriage and the thought of being lied to just infuriated me. so my initial thought was the man is BS me over a BS reason. If he is to lie to me over something as trivial as the dates of when he hung out with his friend then what else is he going to lie to me about. Also, it hurt me b/c I also thought well he was lying bc he knew i text hm about wanting to go out and he never responded. So I called him and I immediately accused him of giving me a line of BS over something stupid. He then gave it right back to me. Telling me that next time I better do better research and he was very much an asshole. he then called me back telling me that he had just talked to his friend and that both of them had their days confused as they had been heavily drinking but that it was not the past weekend. And that he hoped my research now made me happy. I had never heard him like this. But then again he had never heard me as I was either. This was our first argument ever. I was now upset over how he talked to me but I was also now thinking that maybe I was wrong.
So I sent him a text telling him that I was sorry for how I may have came across and that that was not my intent. He then responded back by saying "my intent was my original thought which was incorrect and that he does not like speculation over something as trivial as this". And after that text he sent me one saying that he was sorry for how he is and that in one sentence thoughts were said that he had no foundation for and for that he was sorry. I responded back by saying he was right I was sorry, it is bs and can we both just let it go. Never got a response. The next day i did a little introspection myself. i realized that I a couple of thing happened that I bc in my marriage I was used to my husband lying to me that I perhaps made the assumption that he was to not looking at the fact there may be a logical explanation. And that I did not ask him about it I out right accused him of lying. So I sent him a very heartfelt email the next day (which I am not sure he got or not) Telling him that i owed him a better apology than what i offered and explained that I let my past experience of doubt influence my current emotions. I told him that I should nor will allow the actions of someone else in the past negatively effect him again. That i was wrong for it an made a mistake and that I was sorry. I also called and left the same apology on his voice mail as I am not sure he got the email msg. I left the msg. 2 days ago and I have yet to hear a response back from him. i am trying to let him have his space to allow the apology to sink in and let him come to me. But I am wondering what should I do if I hear nothing back. Also, did I have a right to get upset. i want to make this right. I feel there is a lot of potential and I don't want to mess it up. Also, I am having other dilemmas. As I said i was separated and now my husband after finding out I was seeing someone is begging for me back to keep our family together. But I don't want to give up what I have now. But I wonder would he really give up on something as great as what we had on something so trivial. I mean am I not allowed to make a mistake. please give me some advice....thanks
