Last time I talked to my friend. It left me a little confused..
She seems distant at times. It's been on and off.
I talked to her one day, and she said I seemed stressed, that I need to relax. She wanted me to see this book she was reading. First time we talked about anything in a while, first time she wanted to talk or show me anything. I felt appreciative about that.
I really wanted to hug her, but I held back to not make things awkward.
A few days later, I saw her at work again. We joked a little bit, and at the end of the day, we walked outside and I told her "You know what? Your a good friend".
Her reaction threw me off. She looked down at the floor, in silent. Almost as if she was like "oh". thought I was telling her what she wanted to hear. If anything, I was looking to atleast be a closer frien to her. Told her that I did want to hang out with her. She seemed to not know what to say.
The truth is, I care about her alot. I know she does not want to be with me. I came close to telling her but held back, infact that time I really wanted her to know. But instead I just said she was a good friend. And she is. I even have a feeling she suspects that I do like her. I just don't think I want her to know because I really wanna stay friends and don't want to risk losing her.
In the middle of the week I talked to her on the phone, asked how she was doing. She said she was doing fine and told me about her day.
i saw her yesterday. I said hi, and she said hi but she just looked down while doing some paperwork. Didn't really look at me, I just grabbed some stuff and said "I'll go take care of this". The whole time, things just seemed awkward. IDK if she was mad, mad at me, put off by me, or what. After she left early, that whole day i felt upset.
I felt like "What did I do?" "Is it me?"
I asked if she wanted to go to the movies a few months ago, she said "sure, as just friends".
Since then I went along with it. And she always seemed to busy to hang out. So I accepted it. It sucks, but I really value her friendship. He invited me bowling once with her friends.
I tried going out with another girl, but she never called back. I mentioned it to my friend, For some advice. And to ease pressure so she won't feel like I'm trying to get at her(what I feel she would want to hear rather than thinking I'm into her). Shortly after he seemed distant again. This was before I told her she was a good friend.
I also have a feeling she has someone. We are gonna have a get together for the office, and people can bring some friends. If someone has a friend they will bring, they put a "+1" by their name. She has a +1, followed by a heart.
It blows, but oh well. Someone told me the same thing to me. Said I should've real with her. Deep down I want to tell her, but I'm afraid to lose her. And I'm wondering if she gave up on me. It's hard because often your told never to revel your feelings, that its a mistake.
