Why does he get so jealous easily?

At first I thought it was cute that he got jealous a lot but after a while, it’s just gotten to a point where it’s really annoying now. Why is my boyfriend like this? I don’t think I’ve ever given him a reason to doubt his trust in me. To top it all off, we just had our worst fight ever last night.

I was hired as a waitress for a foreign socials, while he got hired as one of the chefs. One of the guests got drunk and started hitting on me, to which I promptly shut him down. Despite this, he still got mad at me and stormed off after the event. I’m so sick of dealing with this and just want to understand why he’s acting this way.

How long have you been together? Has the jealousy thing been pretty much right from the start?

My educated guess, though, is that he has probably be cheated on in the past. Generally speaking, people are not usually so ridiculously jealous and untrusting (ESPECIALLY when you've given them no reason not to trust you) unless it is because of past experience. Sure, some people can just naturally be that bad, but most likely it is because of some past issue.

Bottom line, though, is that is NOT okay. He needs to learn to get over that and be willing to trust again or not only will your relationship not last, but he likely never will be able to retain another. Nobody deserves to be treated like they can't be trusted unless they actually can't.

The guest was hitting on you... and you instantly shut him down. What the heck else does your boyfriend expect you to do? You can't control it if other guys are going to hit on you. The only thing you can control is how you react to it... and that is exactly what you did.

Like I said, though, if he is THIS jealous, and so easily at that, it is probably because of something that happened to him in a past relationship. So, try talking to him about it if you haven't already. And by that I don't mean how you may talk about it in the heat of the moment when he's acting all jealous. It is better to wait for a time later when you've both calmed down. You may need to have a serious discussion with him. Say something like:

"Look, it is great that I mean that much to you and to some degree it's nice that you get jealous. It shows you care. But it is getting out of hand. I've never given you any reason to doubt me. You know I would never do anything to hurt you. I would never cheat on somebody, that isn't me. I can't help what other people may do. It isn't like I'm encouraging guys to hit on me. If there is a reason you get so jealous, I'm here to talk about it. If maybe something happened to you in the past that made it hard to trust others or whatever. But it just makes me feel unappreciated and belittled when you act like that when I have done nothing wrong...."

That's just off the top of my head. If you do have a discussion with him, obviously just take that as an example. Put it in your own words instead. But, the thing is, he needs to knock that off or he could make the relationship a miserable one for you both. He could even ultimately wind up losing you... all over imaginary problems that he's inventing in his own mind. So, whatever the reason he's like this, he needs to deal with it. You can offer to help and be there for him, but he needs to get past this or it isn't fair to you.

Good luck.

Because he is an insecure bitch

Or maybe because you have reason not to trust him so he is xpects that he can't trust you too

Or just plain stupid

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Originally Posted by Hooo! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Or maybe because you have reason not to trust him so he is xpects that he can't trust you too

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Yes, thank you, that is also a distinct possibility I forgot to mention. I mean, hopefully this has nothing to do with it....

But sometimes people are SUPER jealous when THEY are the ones doing something wrong. For whatever messed up reason, them getting away with doing something wrong can make them super paranoid that their partner is as well.

That very well may not be the case with him, but it is at least a possibility to consider. We don't know him. You do. So maybe I am way off base to suspect that could maybe be part of it. ...Or maybe not.

What is wanted to say is that i wouldn't be able to stand this behaviour anyways. I would explain this and tell how this annoys and i dont get where it comes from
I would also think about my consequences

But that's just me personally
Maybe it doesn't annoy her as much as would annoy me

I venture to guess it does annoy her as well or she probably wouldn't be here asking us about this. And I definitely agree with you. I would also find that behavior very hard/impossible to tolerate. At least to this level. I guess if I had a special lady in my life, and she was occasionally A LITTLE jealous of other women, that could be kind of flattering. Though, much like with our OP, this imaginary lady of mine would have no reason to ever doubt me, so taking that too far would definitely be a huge problem.