How does this girl see me?

Printable View

09-04-14, 02:23 PM
itlnbuc

How does this girl see me?

I told this girl back in December how I felt about her. She said she really did like me too but was not looking for anything serious at the time for a couple of reasons. She ended the conversation though by saying "I hope you understand I am not crossing out the future between us". It has been over four months since that day and we have remained close since. We always have a great time whenever we hang out whether its with others or just us. We have a lot in common. We can talk to each other about ANYTHING. Her parents, especially her mom, LOVE me and I know she talks about me a lot because the first time I met her parents, they knew A LOT about me even though we had never met before. And she even calls me a "teddy bear" sometimes (Even her mom jokingly called me it, which was a little weird because she obviously had to have told her). The signs are there and it really does seem like she likes me.

Prom is coming up though and she just wants to go with a friend. She thinks if we went, things would get weird and does not want that to happen. But if we are just friends, what would make it any less weird going with another friend? Either way, I am going to take another girl because I already went through this with her back in January when she backed out of formal three days after she asked me.

Correct me if I am mistaken, but it seems like she does not want to be in a relationship because she doesn't want to ruin the friendship. I care about her and she cares about me but it's like she does not want to risk losing it by taking it to the next level. I hang out with other girls whenever but no matter what, its her that I am always thinking about and when I see her with other guys, I get really jealous even though I have no reason to be. I really want things to work out but I do not want to kill myself over something that might not ever happen. Should I wait for her in hopes she comes around or is it hopeless and should I give up and move on?
09-04-14, 02:27 PM
BackUpOrGetStng

Text her that you're not going to prom with her, then stop communicating with her altogether. Take the other girl to prom.
09-04-14, 05:14 PM
Wakeup

Quote:

Originally Posted by itlnbuc [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I Either way, I am going to take another girl because I already went through this with her back in January when she backed out of formal three days after she asked me.

Good on you. Take the other girl and DO NOT pay any attention to your so called friend who thinks you're her human teddy bear and MALE girlfriend. Distance yourself from her so that you can clear your thoughts of her. Make the girl you are taking to the prom your centre of attention.

Quote:

Correct me if I am mistaken, but it seems like she does not want to be in a relationship because she doesn't want to ruin the friendship.

No she just doesn't want to be in a relationship with you PERIOD. She likes your attention and comradeship but I don't think she's been viewing in romantic terms much.

Quote:

I care about her and she cares about me but it's like she does not want to risk losing it by taking it to the next level.

If she wanted to take it to the next level she would give you clues (calling you a teddy bear is no clue that she is sexually or romantically attracted to you) that she wants more. You should have backed off the min. she told you she just wanted to be friends if you wanted to be more then that to her. (Google "Ladder Theory" and read about Friendship ladder placement and "Potential Ladder Placement" It will be educational for you in your future dating M.O.

Quote:

I hang out with other girls whenever but no matter what, its her that I am always thinking about and when I see her with other guys, I get really jealous even though I have no reason to be. I really want things to work out but I do not want to kill myself over something that might not ever happen. Should I wait for her in hopes she comes around or is it hopeless and should I give up and move on?

NEVER wait for someone to finally be with you, EVER. Any girl and I mean ANY will not want you as a platonic friend if she is into you. She would NEVER propose you just be friends.
Start distancing yourself from this girl. She stagnates you from finding a girl that DOES want to be your girlfriend of the romantic kind.

Have fun at the prom and let us know how it goes.
09-04-14, 09:14 PM
itlnbuc

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Good on you. Take the other girl and DO NOT pay any attention to your so called friend who thinks you're her human teddy bear and MALE girlfriend. Distance yourself from her so that you can clear your thoughts of her. Make the girl you are taking to the prom your centre of attention.

No she just doesn't want to be in a relationship with you PERIOD. She likes your attention and comradeship but I don't think she's been viewing in romantic terms much.

If she wanted to take it to the next level she would give you clues (calling you a teddy bear is no clue that she is sexually or romantically attracted to you) that she wants more. You should have backed off the min. she told you she just wanted to be friends if you wanted to be more then that to her. (Google "Ladder Theory" and read about Friendship ladder placement and "Potential Ladder Placement" It will be educational for you in your future dating M.O.

NEVER wait for someone to finally be with you, EVER. Any girl and I mean ANY will not want you as a platonic friend if she is into you. She would NEVER propose you just be friends.
Start distancing yourself from this girl. She stagnates you from finding a girl that DOES want to be your girlfriend of the romantic kind.

Have fun at the prom and let us know how it goes.

As much as I did not want to hear that, after you referred to the "teddy bear" comment, I basically looked at the whole past between us before and after I told her how I felt. And you could not be any more right. I'm going to college in 5 months anyways and ,as it will be tough to distance myself from her because we see each other everyday (sit next to each other in school in 2 classes), I know none of this is going to matter when I do finally go off.
As far as prom, the girl I am taking is a friend of a friend and I have only talked to her twice all of high school so I guess it will be interesting haha. Thanks for the reply. It did not make me feel to great when I first read it but it really did help A LOT.