Feeling Some Type Of Way

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01-05-16, 11:59 AM
Guevana81

Feeling Some Type Of Way

Recently while I was hanging out with my man, we were messing around and started poking light heartedly at each other as usual. But I noticed that he went in a little to hard and really hurt my feelings which is very unusual for him. He made a personal dig about me having stretch marks on a particular part of my body and how he had never seen that before on a woman. It hurts me to my core because I have never had a man do that to me before!

Although I did bring it up to him and he has apologized profusely, it still stings like a mother. I have always embraced my stretch marks because I am a mom and I also used to be very, very large which he is well aware of. But now, I don't feel comfortable being naked around him anymore. The man who has always made me feel beautiful, loved, and wanted has now made me feel insecure and undesirable.

I am going through a very tough time in my personal life right now, and this is something I could have really done without right now. My question is how do I deal with this going forward? I do love him, I do forgive him, but my self esteem as a woman has been crushed. Thanks!
01-05-16, 12:32 PM
smackie9

Guys get foot in mouth disease once in awhile for sure. Granted it hurts. If this is something you can't let go of, maybe this is a signal to resolve your issues through some counseling to work through it along with the other things you have been dealing with. I feel his comment just compounded things.....
21-05-16, 07:07 AM
Gladimeir15

Hello...You should not be hurt with what he said. He apologized about it already and seems not that serious of what he said. You should keep that out of your mind, don't be insecure. He said that because he doesn't mean anything about it. He is open to you and meant not to hurt you. He's just so comfortable to say that since hes not hiding anything from you. Just don't over react of what he said. I believe he loves you. I do not see any issue for you to be insecure of.
21-05-16, 08:23 AM
melancholia

The way you feel about your body is a very personal thing, so for you, what he said to you was very hurtful. For others, it may not be as hurtful and it's easier for them to brush off a remark like that. You are not wrong for feeling the way you do, a lot of people would be hurt by that. However, in the context of your situation, you two were playing around and it sounds like he took things too far, but he didn't actually intend to hurt you. I think this is the kind of thing that will just take time for you to get past. How remorseful did he seem when you brought it up to him? Did he seem sincerely apologetic and unaware of how hurtful his remark to you was? Did he reassure you that you are beautiful and that he loves you and your body? I think that as much as his comment stings, that you should look to the positive actions he is showing you. Everyone says and does things that hurt other people, sometimes. It's not because they actually want to hurt you (although some people are like that, but they are actual a$$holes), but they are unaware that a line has been crossed. I think now that you brought this up to him and he felt bad about it, that he won't ever make a remark like that again. Hopefully not anyway.
23-05-16, 07:56 PM
Guevana81

Thank you Gladimeir15! :-)

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Quote:

Originally Posted by melancholia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The way you feel about your body is a very personal thing, so for you, what he said to you was very hurtful. For others, it may not be as hurtful and it's easier for them to brush off a remark like that. You are not wrong for feeling the way you do, a lot of people would be hurt by that. However, in the context of your situation, you two were playing around and it sounds like he took things too far, but he didn't actually intend to hurt you. I think this is the kind of thing that will just take time for you to get past. How remorseful did he seem when you brought it up to him? Did he seem sincerely apologetic and unaware of how hurtful his remark to you was? Did he reassure you that you are beautiful and that he loves you and your body? I think that as much as his comment stings, that you should look to the positive actions he is showing you. Everyone says and does things that hurt other people, sometimes. It's not because they actually want to hurt you (although some people are like that, but they are actual a$$holes), but they are unaware that a line has been crossed. I think now that you brought this up to him and he felt bad about it, that he won't ever make a remark like that again. Hopefully not anyway.

Thank you! You know, i think it hurt the most because he made a remark about me having stretch marks on my private area which first of all I never even knew until he mentioned it. So its like he created an insecurity when I didn't have any around him to begin with.

Also, the fact that he's always in that area during our alone time makes me self conscious now because in the back of my mind I'm wondering if he is thinking about my stretch marks while they are right up in his face. I find myself wanting to cover up a little now where before I was completely comfortable being naked in front of him.

I have forgiven him, our alone time is still there, i'm just a little self concious now which bugs me. But that's where I am at now.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Guys get foot in mouth disease once in awhile for sure. Granted it hurts. If this is something you can't let go of, maybe this is a signal to resolve your issues through some counseling to work through it along with the other things you have been dealing with. I feel his comment just compounded things.....

Yes, absolutely! Going trough bankruptcy, losing my place, divorce, a custody battle, and unemployment all at the same time is definitely not the time to say something like that to me lol! Especially when he is my to rock right now.