Falling for somebody who cannot let go of another man
Hi loveforum my situation is the following,
I have been writing with a woman my age (mid/early 30s) for about two weeks. She does not live in my state, but not too far away either. She is simply wonderful, very smart, very compassionate, seems to have a great character and we share some of the same hobbies. After about the first week, she kept talking more and more about her ex-boyfriend, well you could not even call him that, there was nothing more than cuddling going on in more than half a year and it is really obvious that he is not particularly interested in her. But he likes the attention while looking for other women it seems and likes to have her safe somehow so they meet every 1 or 2 weeks, but nothing really happens, so he doesn't seem to want to let go of her maybe because of his ego and she can't it seems because she likes him a lot.
Well.. after the most recent time he ignored her, she to some extent maybe realizes that it's not working out and she sent him messages like it's his fault that it ended and he could have had her and he doesn't deserve her etc. but I believe she is still hoping for him to ask for her attention, make a date... and it will start anew. She keeps asking me what to do about him and I told her that he is not the right one for her (which is definitely true, completely aside from my personal interest in her losing contact with him). She also says she knows it, but her head can't win over her heart right now and she needs time to understand it, but as he does not seem willing to let her go and over and over throws some hope along her away, she can't get away from him. And while I love talking to her, it also hurts me a bit every time she mentions him.
She's been pretty unlucky with men in general. While talking to me about how she wants one who respects her, doesn't try to change her and accepts her the way she is, she can't seem to let go of those who care nothing for her and keep hurting her. The two of us were having hour-long talks in messengers every night the last few days and we totally seem to be on the same wavelength, our views about basically everything in terms of life, love etc. It's not like she is only texting me about this other man, we talk about everything really. Even after such a brief time, I must say I hardly never felt such a strong connection with somebody. The good (or bad?) thing is that this could be the beginning of an amazing friendship too actually. But there's no way I can ask her for a meeting at this point because her head is full with this other guy and besides she has temporary psychological issues that are so severe that she cannot even leave the house most of the time. The picture she sent me was really appealing too. I am pretty sure the moment I see her in real, I will fall for her if I haven't already. I am really struggling with this situation and with what's the best way to behave.
