I love her, but I can't tell her
Okay, this is gonna be long but i need to know what to do, I am lost and i need help
Okay, so first off, I am 14 years old (turning 15 in 2 months), and I will be a Freshman in high school very soon. So i have known this girl for about 5 years, I met her in the fourth grade. I will not use her real name so lets call her Alice. So Alice and I became best friends in fourth grade and we stayed close all through the rest of elementary school. All that time, i knew i loved her, but i was to young to even know what love really was, so we were just very close friends. In the 6th grade, I really began to develop feelings for her. I would day-dream about her at school. So i asked her to the Valentines Day dance at our school. She said yes, and I slow danced with her, it was the best night of my life. So the next day, I called her and told her how much fun i had, and asked her if she would like to be my girlfriend. She said yes, so we began "dating" or whatever 6th graders consider dating. Things were going pretty well between us. Now here is where the shit storm begins. So near where we live, there is a VERY good school that goes from 7th-12th grade and only accepts 150 kids into each grade every year. We are both students who care a shit ton about our education, so we both signed up for the school. This school lets kids in based on a lottery system, if your name is called, good, if it is not, better luck next year. She got in, I did not. I was devastated not only because I was not let into a very good school but also because we would not get to see each other anymore. Her new school was pretty far from the one she was leaving, and we do not live close to one another. We still talked on a regular basis but we started just being friends again. From the end of 6th grade, to now, as I write this, I miss her and wish I could tell her how I feel. During the 2 school years in her absence, not one new person has made me get over her. Over those 2 school years, we began to talk less, and less, but we still do, just not all the time. During those 2 years and still now, I find myself just staring at old pictures I have of her, or ones on social media platforms, just looking at her, admiring her beauty. It goes deeper than just her looks, her laugh, her voice, the way I feel when I get a message from her about some crazy thing that just happend. I adore it, and I have since 4th grade. I never told her any of this. I was to afraid that she would think I was creepy or weird and never talk to me again. So here is my question. Should I, tell this girl how I feel about her and risk her never talking to me again, or, should I continue to let the want for her build up inside me like I have let it for the past 5 years? The reason why I am so reluctant to tell her, on top of the aforementioned possible permanent silent treatment is I have no idea if she has a significant other at her school, or if there is someone she likes at her school.
If you read through that, thank you. I know it was a bit TMI, and badly written, but I wanted to get all the details out there. I cant bare to loose her. I love her so much. If you have any advice, please help me.
