It sounds like she's walking all over you man. You seem like a nice guy, so you're not letting it, or trying to not let it get to you. You don't want it to because you fear losing her. Let's review.
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She tells me she feels she was blown off for my family. She tells me that she doesn't care at all whether I make it home safely or not anymore.
What the hell is this?! She just blantley said she doesn't care about you right here. She doesn't care if you make it home safe or not? Might as well say if you get into a wreck and god forbid die, it wouldn't bother me. Harsh but true. Next.
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I tell her I didn't mean to make her feel she's been blown off. She hangs up.
Right here she hung up because she knows that being the kind of person you are, you'll make the effort to try and get ahold of her again, even though she's the one who's wrong here. She over reacted when you were helping your parents. I could see if it was the fellas you were with but come on. Then you go on with this.
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Frustrated and hurt by her words, I wrote her an e-mail in which I tell her that I feel that what she said was intended to provoke a reaction out of me.
This was pretty good. You put her on the defensive with this, and pointed out that what she did was a little out of hand. You basically said what the hell was wrong with you last night? In a nice guy way of course. The following was something I think factors into everything...
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Sue said she wanted to break up with me last monday, and then changed her mind once she saw how it broke my heart..... However her reaction was one of happiness.
By showing her how much it bothered you and hurt you with her saying that, she realized how badly you want to be with her, making her the one who has the power here. That power is what's making her think it's ok to over react about these things, because she knows that you'd do anything to keep her happy, even though she sees past the long drive you were about to endure.
I'd say stop putting up with this stuff as much as you do. If everytime something like this happens, you just follow her yelling/pissed off gestures with a sorry, more situations like the above will be in your future.
Next time she acts like that about something, bring it to her attention. Ask her what her problem is, especially if you feel it's over something not worth fighting about. A relationship entails of respect and understanding, which didn't seem to be the case with this situation.