How to Love Yourself First

Society would lead us to believe that if we are not in a relationship, then there is something wrong with us. But the reality is that many of us should learn how to love and accept ourselves first. I was in a very emotionally and mentally abusive relationship once and thought that I didn't deserve better and he was as good as I was going to get. At the time, I had a lot of insecurities that stemmed from toxic family relationships, and not knowing better, I knew in my gut that I needed to leave, but fear kept me there and I stayed in the relationship for four years and left feeling very hurt. But I also learned a lot about myself and began to recognize that I deserved better and that no one could make me happy if I didn't have internal happiness and gratitude. That began me on a very personal spiritual journey and I read a lot of books and applied some of the teachings, and I began to connect with myself on a consciousness level and deal with MY stuff. Now when I have challenges, I pull on the strength of my spiritual self and can rise above what is causing me distress. This has made me a better friend and a compatible partner for the love that I desire and am able to give in a relationship.

I share this story because 1) I want to hear your story on loving yourself first, and 2) to encourage anyone who may be feeling unworthy that YOU can do the self-work towards loving yourself first, but you have to make the decision and then commit to it. Trust me, it may not be easy but sometimes we have to make change in our life or reconsider our choices that keep us stuck and further away from the life and love we truly deserve to give and have.

It's easy for girls to love themselves.They get all the compliments, free therapy and sex they want so it's much easier to have esteem and feel like a winner. But if you're a guy who's not in a relationship AND not getting laid, you're a loser. It means your genes are defective. For guys like this (I'm one), it's a wonder we weren't spared a pointless life via abortion. Let's face it: Guys who can't get dates or sex are losers. It's a fact.

[MENTION=68335]YoungCosmo[/MENTION]s, loving yourself is not about getting something from someone else, but learning to see your true value and worth as an individual, whether you are getting compliments (or sex) from someone or not. Once you see your individual value, you can then add value to someone else's life. And no one is a loser unless they allow others to make them feel that way. Our words have power so please be careful what you call yourself, and if if your goal is to get dates, make sure you are doing the things to make yourself dateable and interesting. Sometimes we have to put the work in to get the results we want.

Sorry. I killed your thread. I;m just not normal enough for this advice to work for me. Some of us are too disturbed and gone to make sense and fit into the social fabric. You are completely right, and it is obvious because us losers lose and go unloved. We deserve this. We get beaten down and grounded down by reality and it is exactly what we deserve. Sure, this has always been the way life has treated us since were extremely young. I guess life said "Sure, you're only 1 year old but you're destined to do stupid sht so let's punish you before you make a choice because you have no choice. Your life is to suffer from what you will do even though you didn't choose to do it."