Should I take an initiative?
I fell in love in my former professor. I am 22 y.o and he is 33 y.o. He is a chemist scientist who spends most of his life on research, publishing articles, and making experiments. As I know he doesn’t have neither wife nor girlfriend. He was never married. He doesn’t drink alcohol. He is very responsible and self-controlling person. I am not sure about whether he ever had a girlfriend?
When I was taking his class, he helped me a lot, so I was very grateful to him. He showed many signs that he is attracted to me like he was always looking at me during class time, he was joking a lot and looking the way I reacted to it, he was teasing me and I just naturally felt his strong attraction to me. My best friend also noticed his special attitude to me. However, after a couple of time my professor told me that I lack life experience. At that time I didn’t seriously take it. Then I realized what he meant. He actually was saying that I am immature and probably childish for him. But still even after passing his course I saw him in the uni and I fell his attraction to me.
I also started to study French and thus asked him for a help. He is native French speaker. He agreed to help me. We were supposed to have a class during which we can speak French. On that day he invited to our class his colleague who is also a French-native speaker. So the three of us went to a coffee house and talked in French. When introducing me to his colleague, my professor told that I am seeking a husband in France; to which I rashly responded that I am not going to marry in my next 10 years because I want to make my career ( I am from very traditional central asian country where girls usually marry early). He was laughing at it and during our conversation he mentioned again about marriage. I don’t know was it a sign ? But he always teased me, so I didn’t pay attention.
Also, I noticed that when we are alone, both of us feel a bit awkward when it comes to speak bout something different from lectures or class.
Once me and my mother went to a restaurant where he was sitting with his friends and colleagues. He noticed me and got scared. At first I didn’t notice him but then I felt that someone was staring at me and then hiding after the door. They were sitting in one private room, so when they finished, he went out and wanted to pass unnoticed. Then I saw him and said hi and then introduced my mother to him. He turned red and was very shy. Even my mom noticed it and told me that my professor is very shy. All those small occasions showed me that he is not indifferent to me. My feelings grew up to him every day. But then I suddenly heart that he is leaving because he accepted a new position in other uni in London. I was very sad about it. I decided to forget him. However, I failed.
After half a year he came to our uni again because of his work and gave a lecture as a guest in our uni to which I came. And guess what? I still like him. He was again looking at me, joking a lot and teasing. I am sure that he related to me different as to other students, female-students. There is definitely something more what he feels for me than just as a professor to his probably favorite student. He arrived only for a week and then he left again.
I recently graduated from that uni and now I am planning to proceed my studying in London. It’s not just because of him. My decision was mainly based on the quality of education. But the fact that he lives there now pushes me to try to start relationships with him. I really do like him a lot. I want to know him better. But from his side there was no initiative which I explained to myself as his shyness or uncertainty and also academic restrictions on the romantic relationships between prof and students.
So can you help me by giving me advice and telling whether it is ok if I take initiative and start dating him ??????? And what kind of tips can you give me?????
