I miss her too much, i need to control the limit...

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22-12-08, 01:11 PM
Kay-C

I miss her too much, i need to control the limit...

Hi everyone, i'm here to discuss about my relationship issue and i deeply appreciate as much help as possible in terms of advice.

Me and my girlfriend loved each other a lot, and i'm lucky to know that we both love each other tis much and we are happy to be together.
But the problem is that, i keep thinking and missed her too much whenever she's not around. I feel uneasy whenever we can't communicate with each other (texting,call or msn the same) when she's busy.

To be honest i'm more of a sensitive guy, and i tend to think of a lot and worry too much about many things. That's why i always feel down when i dun get to communicate with her much. And i'm more of a quiet guy because i dun really mix around with friends too much or join any groups/activities. However, she's my opposite whereby she loves to hang out and join activities outside and mixed around with bunch of friends. I would have think of joining her friends if only we don't stay too far from each other.

That's why i tend to be reluctant when she said she wanna hang out with her friends for a saturday at least (though we will be meeting each other on sunday). But i'm being selfish i wish she can accompany me for the whole day. I dun really voice out that much because i know she has her freedom to join her group of friends and enjoy instead of being with me all the time.

That is why i always think that i should be controlling myself and not to think about it that much. She might be hanging out with friends enjoying happily, but i might be staying at home. Yet, doesn't mean that i do not have my own friends or colleagues to hang out with. I joined my friends for a drink or sumthing, but I can't stop thinking bout her. Sometimes i'll be thinking 'if only i'm with her right now, instead of accompanying my friends', i know that kind of thinking is not encouraging because i should have some spare time with other people as well.

She will be out of town for work in the next 5 months permanently, and thinking about long-distance relationship really worries me a lot.
But my first move is to control my limit, yet i don't know how to help myself in this case.

I need advice for my issue here, and thanks! :sad2:
22-12-08, 04:28 PM
snakey123

I am in the same boat here mate. Altho my girlfriend goes to clubs & dose girly things with her girl mates. And i think to myself "Why would she rather hang with them then me?". I also need an answer to this question.
22-12-08, 07:41 PM
DreamBeliever

Advice for the guys ;)

Hey- sounds like you could use a ladies opinion :) You're doing the right thing not to voice these concerns to her- atleast not too much or in a serious way that put pressure on her. What she's doing is being herself and if you're the man who loves her enough to allow her that time and space that she needs without making her feel bad, guilty or compromised she will only love you and want you more for it. When a relationship is healthy it has to afford you time to be your own people and live your own lives- trust me if you were living in eachothers pockets the spark would burn out- perhaps disappear alltogether. This way you get to keep your relationship fresh and interesting because you have occasion to miss one another. Just let her know (occasionally) that you'd rather be with her that you mates- that'll make her feel special. As for the long distance thing- that IS gonna be an issue that you will have to discuss with her in a more serious way- if you're already having trouble missing her. You have to decide if it's something that you are both prepared to put yourselves through- as it is gonna be soooo hard. Any chance of you going with her? Again not something you should pressure her with- fish for how she feels- suggest it casually or you might find that you're out on a limb and she's not on the same page- she might feel that this is something she has to do on her own- and you just might have to let her go- either way discuss it so that atleats you know how your future together factors into her plans. Good luck :)
29-12-08, 09:20 AM
Kay-C

Quote:

Originally Posted by DreamBeliever [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hey- sounds like you could use a ladies opinion :) You're doing the right thing not to voice these concerns to her- atleast not too much or in a serious way that put pressure on her. What she's doing is being herself and if you're the man who loves her enough to allow her that time and space that she needs without making her feel bad, guilty or compromised she will only love you and want you more for it. When a relationship is healthy it has to afford you time to be your own people and live your own lives- trust me if you were living in eachothers pockets the spark would burn out- perhaps disappear alltogether. This way you get to keep your relationship fresh and interesting because you have occasion to miss one another. Just let her know (occasionally) that you'd rather be with her that you mates- that'll make her feel special. As for the long distance thing- that IS gonna be an issue that you will have to discuss with her in a more serious way- if you're already having trouble missing her. You have to decide if it's something that you are both prepared to put yourselves through- as it is gonna be soooo hard. Any chance of you going with her? Again not something you should pressure her with- fish for how she feels- suggest it casually or you might find that you're out on a limb and she's not on the same page- she might feel that this is something she has to do on her own- and you just might have to let her go- either way discuss it so that atleats you know how your future together factors into her plans. Good luck :)

Thanks for your advice DB, i'm thinking of this too...
does that mean that if i give her more freedom and she'll become happier and love me more at the same time??
29-12-08, 10:06 AM
AndrewJanus

maybe I should learn this too... lol
31-12-08, 06:29 AM
IamTHATguy

Isn't that first-love syndrome? lol
01-01-09, 08:37 AM
livingthelife

I think DreamBeliever hit the nail on the head. This also reminds me of one of my favorite quotes which I still have to remind myself of every now and then.

"Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take." -Anthony Robbins
14-01-09, 12:53 PM
Kay-C

Quote:

Originally Posted by livingthelife [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think DreamBeliever hit the nail on the head. This also reminds me of one of my favorite quotes which I still have to remind myself of every now and then.

"Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take." -Anthony Robbins

i understand what you are trying to say here~
we need to know that in a relationship is to give them and not to demand for something in return...
but what i want is that she show her caring, since i cared for her so much...she knows that too
she complaint before that i'm being very sticky too her. I realized the mistake and i tried to reduce this attitude. I tried really hard, although sometimes I still feel helpless can't get too close to her.
14-01-09, 01:08 PM
fabioblog

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kay-C [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hi everyone, i'm here to discuss about my relationship issue and i deeply appreciate as much help as possible in terms of advice.

Me and my girlfriend loved each other a lot, and i'm lucky to know that we both love each other tis much and we are happy to be together.
But the problem is that, i keep thinking and missed her too much whenever she's not around. I feel uneasy whenever we can't communicate with each other (texting,call or msn the same) when she's busy.

To be honest i'm more of a sensitive guy, and i tend to think of a lot and worry too much about many things. That's why i always feel down when i dun get to communicate with her much. And i'm more of a quiet guy because i dun really mix around with friends too much or join any groups/activities. However, she's my opposite whereby she loves to hang out and join activities outside and mixed around with bunch of friends. I would have think of joining her friends if only we don't stay too far from each other.

That's why i tend to be reluctant when she said she wanna hang out with her friends for a saturday at least (though we will be meeting each other on sunday). But i'm being selfish i wish she can accompany me for the whole day. I dun really voice out that much because i know she has her freedom to join her group of friends and enjoy instead of being with me all the time.

That is why i always think that i should be controlling myself and not to think about it that much. She might be hanging out with friends enjoying happily, but i might be staying at home. Yet, doesn't mean that i do not have my own friends or colleagues to hang out with. I joined my friends for a drink or sumthing, but I can't stop thinking bout her. Sometimes i'll be thinking 'if only i'm with her right now, instead of accompanying my friends', i know that kind of thinking is not encouraging because i should have some spare time with other people as well.

She will be out of town for work in the next 5 months permanently, and thinking about long-distance relationship really worries me a lot.
But my first move is to control my limit, yet i don't know how to help myself in this case.

I need advice for my issue here, and thanks! :sad2:

Hey Kay-C, outside of school or work, do you have some hobby that you are into or projects that you like to work on or something else in your life that you want to work towards? I think relationship is healthier when she is part of your life but is not your life in its totality. Putting time towards activities you enjoy doing could help you balance your focus and thinking.
I hope this helps.

Jack
16-01-09, 09:52 PM
Kay-C

Quote:

Originally Posted by fabioblog [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hey Kay-C, outside of school or work, do you have some hobby that you are into or projects that you like to work on or something else in your life that you want to work towards? I think relationship is healthier when she is part of your life but is not your life in its totality. Putting time towards activities you enjoy doing could help you balance your focus and thinking.
I hope this helps.

Jack

thanks for your advice...yea i agree actually i think of this too.
i should have to think of doing some activities of my own, if i don't get to do anything else i might be keep thinking of problems and worry too much.
I'm working out to think of doing something that might make me worry lesser~
thanks for your advice