Falling out of love. Need advice. Super long post.
Hey guys, it's my first time asking online strangers for advice. Be nice please!
I've been dating my girlfriend for 2 years next month now. My first "real" girlfriend might I add. Never dated until after high school is where I found my girlfriend on plenty of fish. The beginning of the relationship was great, it was all lubby dubby like a chick flick movie or something. Her life is a little complicated, being raised by a single mom, and being socially awkward and all. I on the other hand am polar opposite of her. We get along perfectly somehow. She didn't have a job when I met her which was totally fine with me, she was not self motivated at all, didn't have a plan in life until she met me. I encouraged her to get a job and to set a goal for herself in life. I strongly believe it was me who changed her life for the better, her mom also thinks so.
Anyways, recently the relationship has been very rocky. She moved out of her moms house recently to live with her co-worker (female). Before she moved out, she talked to me about it, and that she wanted to break up with me because of the "small things". I understood it, I told her I refused to lose her because of communication problems. I understood exactly what she meant by "small things". I personally think I'm a pretty good boyfriend. I'm not abusive, I'm loyal, I'm caring, etc etc. I'm usually very modest, however, I believe I fit the criteria for what most women look for in a man. I was extremely saddened by the reason why she wanted to break up. So I went home later that night and I thought about it. I wrote a letter with pen and paper and I dropped it off in her room at her moms house. It was basically an apology letter along with appreciating her as a person. We kissed and made up. Everything at the time was all good in the hood.
After she moved out, we didn't see each other for a week which is a super long time for us. We made plans for the Saturday of this long weekend as she had plans Friday night to go out with her co-workers. I missed her, she missed me. Saturday came around finally. I went to her new place where I see her smoking, she knows I don't like that. I give her a kiss anyways and tell her I miss her. The day rolls by, she tells me she might go out because her plans Friday night fell through. I told her "if you want to go out, let me know now because I'll go home" not wanting to waste my time. She said she wasn't sure what she wants to do. We planned all week to drink, cuddle and watching the walking dead. Instead? She's watching some drag queen show and colouring a colouring book with her room mate. I'm pissed at this point because she's wasting my time. We had plans. I fall asleep around 11pm-12am, I wake up at 4AM, no one is home. I text her "house party?" She said yeah. I planned on leaving. But I chose to stay and wait for her to get home, which she finally did around 6am. I waited outside, she saw me. She knew I was upset. I wasn't mad at all. I was sad, disappointed about that fact that she wasted my time not doing what we planned to do this weekend and going out to a house party until 6AM. I told her I was mad about her going out to a house party, but mad that we had plans and she basically ignored me the first day I've seen her in a week. I walked into her room as her roommate/coworker walking outside to have a smoke. I sat there, she came in 5 minutes later. I gave her a hug because I did some deep thinking within that time. I understood why she went out, she's been working 7 days a week for X amount of time, no time to herself and she wanted to enjoy herself. When she came in the room, I hugged her tight. Asked if she wanted to lie down. This is when she hurt me like I've never been hurt before. She was and said "I don't know what I'm doing right now, I'd rather go out then spend time with you". This literally broke my heart. I pushed her away physically. I asked her 3 questions. 1. Do you still love me? 2. Why do you want me to stay? And 3. Why should I stay? Basically she was scared of losing me and that my love was hurting her. She knew she was in the wrong. I decide to stay. I made it clear that it wasn't the partying that made me upset, it was the fact that we had plans. I talked to her mother and she told me that she doesn't deserve someone like me.
so basically right now, she didn't want me to stay over, but instead she has her girlfriend friend over for God knows how long. She honoured her plans with her girl friend but not mine.
I would like to know what I should do.
