Ex has herpes, he thinks

A few months ago, my ex had a herpes breakout. It was his first breakout, and it happened after we had sex. The doctor did a swab and it came back negative although we don't really believe that. I have never had a breakout before, and I do know that does not necessarily mean that I don't have the virus.

Anyhow, we learned more than we ever wanted to know about herpes and the different viruses. I talked to the sexual health center for my city. They said they don't do testing unless it is a swab; they don't do the blood tests. This is because the blood tests won't distinguish which virus it is or where the infection is (or will return). Considering that the vast majority has HSV1 (cold sores), most tests will come back positive anyway.

Now that I am ready to start dating again, is this something I should disclose to a potential partner?

I'd only be disclosing it if I had been diagnosed with it myself. If your ex wasn't symptomatic when you had sex, then you probably didn't catch it.

That being said, use condoms if you're having sex with a partner who hasn't been recently screened for STIs. There's also a chlamydia thread current here - a bit of precaution would help prevent all this STI transmission.

I suppose that is true. He did have a breakout a few days after, though, so I wondered if I gave it to him not knowing...

I recently got tested for chlamydia, gonorrhea, aids and syphilis and everything came back negative. I am always safe and get tested annually.

Thanks for the advice!

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Originally Posted by strwawberryaid [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

A few months ago, my ex had a herpes breakout. It was his first breakout, and it happened after we had sex. The doctor did a swab and it came back negative although we don't really believe that. I have never had a breakout before, and I do know that does not necessarily mean that I don't have the virus.

Anyhow, we learned more than we ever wanted to know about herpes and the different viruses. I talked to the sexual health center for my city. They said they don't do testing unless it is a swab; they don't do the blood tests. This is because the blood tests won't distinguish which virus it is or where the infection is (or will return). Considering that the vast majority has HSV1 (cold sores), most tests will come back positive anyway.

Now that I am ready to start dating again, is this something I should disclose to a potential partner?

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cold sore herpes people can get as kids...
genital, again anyone can get, not even condoms protect us from it...

it's really not a big deal...

should you disclose it to your partner...

yes.

but should we also disclose we have HPV, coz anyone sexually active most probably does...

we don't say to each other, ok, we are having sex now, we will share the HPV strains we have...

it be fair to tell your partner about herpes virus if you have got it.

but it's not something that would put off someone who really likes you...

if i were you thought, i would get tested, swab and all. i'd want to know...

BTW, condoms do not protect us from herpes, just lowers the risk of it...so having sex always implies we can get herpes...

you can also get genital herpes from oral herpes virus...

i just read about it and HSV1 can cause oral herpes or genital one.

while HSV2 causes genital one...

the site also says that there are blood tests that determine weather you have HSV1 or HSV2 they just cannot tell you whether the eventual breakouts will be oral or genital ones...

herpes is really not a big deal...

it shouldn't be...

i will also dare to say it's not such a big deal not to talk about it wiht you partners, coz if it is, then we should all get tested for HPV strains we carry and talk about those as well...

as far as i know we don't do that...

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Originally Posted by strwawberryaid [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I suppose that is true. He did have a breakout a few days after, though, so I wondered if I gave it to him not knowing...

I recently got tested for chlamydia, gonorrhea, aids and syphilis and everything came back negative. I am always safe and get tested annually.

Thanks for the advice!

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You can still catch herpes even if your partner does not have any symptoms. Google "Herpes Shedding" and read about that. If you have learned "more then you ever wanted to know" then you would know that shedding occurs.

You can't tell someone that you have genital herpes if you don't know yourself that you have it. You should always be safe and ensure your partner is wearing a condom until you know that you are exclusive and you both have been tested twice in a one year period. Of course you have to keep in mind that you can get herpes sores anywhere where a condom does not cover (including on your ass cheeks/anal area if bodily fluids have dripped down there.

If he had sores then I'm wondering why he his swab came back "negative?" Seems unlikely. If the sores were not herpes then what were they? Did you ask that question?

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Btw:

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but it's not something that would put off someone who really likes you...

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This is inherently untrue. There are plenty of people out there that even if they "like" you (love you even) would leave someone that had genital herpes. Please do not listen to platitudes like that.

Herpes may not be "a big deal" to some but obviously it can be a big deal to others otherwise what would be the point of disclosing at all? Contrary to what Eve is telling you ~ there are those of us who know for certain that we do not have genital/oral herpes would not want to get involved with someone that does, we would not want to continue to date someone to the point of falling in love with them only to be told after that has happened. Not taking your partners view on the subject of whether or not herpes is a big deal BEFORE you become intimate is self-absorbed at best.

Eve from another planet, you sound like you carry STD's yourself. Nice advise not to disclose STD to a partner. Once again, you put too much emphasis on your personal experience!

OP, first of all, you should be wearing condoms at all times when having sex especially if you are not with your partner long term and/or aren't in a monogamous relationship. Secondly, ask yourself, if your sexual partner has STD, wouldn't you want to know?

If you are positive for the herpes virus, probably yes, disclose it ~ always use protection with sex partners ( condoms) anyhow, buy them yourself & hand over if they don't have their own with them, keep you safer.

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Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If he had sores then I'm wondering why he his swab came back "negative?" Seems unlikely. If the sores were not herpes then what were they? Did you ask that question?

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Good point. I once had a herpes scare - the test came back negative but the doctor told me to ignore the negative result. I then went for a second opinion at a sexual health centre who said that obvious herpes lesions should get a positive result.

That was over 25 years ago and I've never since had another outbreak of whatever it was.

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Originally Posted by eve.ashley [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

herpes is really not a big deal...

it shouldn't be...

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What a crock. Herpes isn't USUALLY a catastrophe, but it certainly CAN be. Have you ever seen a severe herpetic infection in the eye? I have. It required hospitalization because of the proximity to the brain, and the risk of herpetic encephalitis. Genital herpes outbreaks can cause a pregnant woman to require a c-section, and exposes a newborn to very serious illness.

Do not minimize it.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What a crock. Herpes isn't USUALLY a catastrophe, but it certainly CAN be. Have you ever seen a severe herpetic infection in the eye? I have. It required hospitalization because of the proximity to the brain, and the risk of herpetic encephalitis. Genital herpes outbreaks can cause a pregnant woman to require a c-section, and exposes a newborn to very serious illness.

Do not minimize it.

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it seems that many people on this forum suffer some sort of obsessive urge to comment other posters opinions, instead of simply giving their own to the OP.

you most certainly are one of them. do concentrate on answering the OP and not on trying to tell me what i can, or cannot think of herpes.

it also, sounds like you saw a herpes Zoster complication which is not the same disease as mentioned in OP.

also you are going on ignore after this replay, the same as other dimwits on this forum, who cannot restrain themselves from trolling.

Eve. Really? You are going to take on Vash too? My advice is.. just don't. Before long you will have most of the forum on Ignore. Not much fun for you. Besides, Vash does know what she is about. Without Google.

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Originally Posted by eve.ashley [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

it seems that many people on this forum suffer some sort of obsessive urge to comment other posters opinions, instead of simply giving their own to the OP.

you most certainly are one of them. do concentrate on answering the OP and not on trying to tell me what i can, or cannot think of herpes.

it also, sounds like you saw a herpes Zoster complication which is not the same disease as mentioned in OP.

also you are going on ignore after this replay, the same as other dimwits on this forum, who cannot restrain themselves from trolling.

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Not herpes Zoster. HSV1. And I couldn't possibly care less if you block me.

I would be freaking out not knowing. I think i'd stress myself out as much as possible and try to trigger an outbreak! lol

But in all seriousness (actually I wasn't kidding...) I would definitely stay clear of sex... and if you have someone you are thinking of taking that step I would tell them about your EX and that you are being responsible and being tested again in the future.

I for one would leave/avoid/not get involved with someone with an std. Super paranoid about it. So I wouldn't listen to anyone saying it's no big deal.

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Originally Posted by eve.ashley [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

it seems that many people on this forum suffer some sort of obsessive urge to comment other posters opinions, instead of simply giving their own to the OP.

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What... like you just did you mean?

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you most certainly are one of them. do concentrate on answering the OP and not on trying to tell me what i can, or cannot think of herpes.

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Even though its pretty obvious that you're the one trolling... This is not a thread that should be based on "opinion." It is a thread that needs to be based on fact and your post had very little of that.

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also you are going on ignore after this replay, the same as other dimwits on this forum, who cannot restrain themselves from trolling.

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Unfortunately we can't put you on "ignore" because you haven't a clue and we can't take a chance that an Op will take any of your spew as gospel so we need to see what you're posting so we can check you on your accuracy. pffft.